DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Family and Children
*****************************************************
#Post#: 4271--------------------------------------------------
Re: We bought the "wrong souvenirs"
DIR By: LurkingGurl
Date: June 3, 2018, 1:36 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Just agree with her. Say "Oh my goodness, you're right! I
can't believe we forgot to get LO a plumbus! We will definitely
have to get one next time we go!"
Arguing doesn't work. If you just agree with her then you both
can be in harmony over the regret that LO will have to wait
awhile before she can have a plumbus. And you can offer that
it's something to look forward to!
I don't know how old your MIL is but when I want my
grandchildren to have something, I just buy it online and have
it sent. Perhaps she is not as internet savvy?
#Post#: 4328--------------------------------------------------
Re: We bought the "wrong souvenirs"
DIR By: LifeOnPluto
Date: June 4, 2018, 6:37 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Perhaps this is a good situation to ask your MIL: "Why do you
care?" (politely of course).
I suspect maybe she is the one who has always wanted a "pet
rock" (or wanted one as a child, but never got one?).
#Post#: 4355--------------------------------------------------
Re: We bought the "wrong souvenirs"
DIR By: Bada
Date: June 4, 2018, 10:37 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Bwahaha. Mothers in law have been so maligned that people have
concluded this must be a thread about an evil MIL. Alas, this
thread is about my mother, not MIL. :D
I'm not sure you can buy this Pet Rock online. But souvenirs are
only really fun in the moment, not ordered online I think. And
it's not really age appropriate, so it's not like LO is missing
out.
#Post#: 4362--------------------------------------------------
Re: We bought the "wrong souvenirs"
DIR By: LurkingGurl
Date: June 4, 2018, 11:14 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Oh sorry! That was my fault! I don't know why I thought "MIL."
You might also be able to tell her that LO saw the thing and
just wasn't interested in it.
#Post#: 4377--------------------------------------------------
Re: We bought the "wrong souvenirs"
DIR By: GardenGal
Date: June 4, 2018, 12:35 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: lakey link ---
>
>
> GardenGal,
> The good news is that for being 97 your MIL has a really good
memory.
>
--- End Quote ---
Lakey - She's really a sweetheart, and we're so fortunate that
her health is pretty good for her age and her memory is better
than mine! Maybe we need a thread for good ML stories?
#Post#: 4400--------------------------------------------------
Re: We bought the "wrong souvenirs"
DIR By: QueenFaninCA
Date: June 4, 2018, 2:35 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: TootsNYC link ---
>
> I would take her off speakerphone the moment she started that
sort of thing.
>
--- End Quote ---
But that's not the way speakerphone works. You can control on
your end, i.e. in your room if you phone is on speaker or not.
But you cannot control the other side if your call. The most you
can do is to ask them not to have you on speakerphone.
#Post#: 4404--------------------------------------------------
Re: We bought the "wrong souvenirs"
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: June 4, 2018, 2:56 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: QueenFaninCA link ---
>
> [quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=316.msg4190#msg4190
date=1527952035]
> I would take her off speakerphone the moment she started that
sort of thing.
>
--- End Quote ---
But that's not the way speakerphone works. You can control on
your end, i.e. in your room if you phone is on speaker or not.
But you cannot control the other side if your call. The most you
can do is to ask them not to have you on speakerphone.
[/quote]
But it IS the OP's end that I'm talking about--that's the end
where her child is, and where her child can hear Grandma's
comments.
By taking her off speakerphone ASAP, it cuts off the child's
ability to hear Grandma's continuing complaints.
Who cares what Grandma does in her house; the child's ears
aren't there. They're in the OP's living room.
However, in retrospect, in this instance I actually agree with
this:
--- Quote from: Mary Sunshine Rain link ---
>
> Just agree with her. Say "Oh my goodness, you're right! I
can't believe we forgot to get LO a plumbus! We will definitely
have to get one next time we go!"
>
> Arguing doesn't work. If you just agree with her then you
both can be in harmony over the regret that LO will have to wait
awhile before she can have a plumbus. . . .
>
--- End Quote ---
Mary Sunshine Rain has a point; sometimes resistance just
creates more resistance. If you agree, you can steer the
conversation and end it more quickly, I bet.
And you will have a greater influence on your child's sense of
contentment, I think.
#Post#: 4407--------------------------------------------------
Re: We bought the "wrong souvenirs"
DIR By: bopper
Date: June 4, 2018, 3:02 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
All you can do is set boundaries. If the other person responds,
then great! If not..then they get less access.
1) Take her off of speakerphone to help with the immediate
situation
2) Address it in the moment "Mom, are you seriously complaining
about what souvenirs we got our own child? Yes we know pet rocks
are in right now, but it is not appropriate for a 2 year old.
Please drop it."
3) If she brings it up again, then you say "I see the
conversation is running in a circle. Bye, Mom..talk to you next
week."
3) If this sort of thing happens often, then stop telling your
mom about what you do...or at least in less detail.
#Post#: 4520--------------------------------------------------
Re: We bought the "wrong souvenirs"
DIR By: CrazyDaffodilLady
Date: June 5, 2018, 1:15 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I had a friend (gone now) who was a very proper Southern lady. I
loved watching her responses to awkward situations. When
someone was haranguing her about something ridiculous that she
would never agree with, she'd smile sweetly and say, "You might
be right".
#Post#: 4551--------------------------------------------------
Re: We bought the "wrong souvenirs"
DIR By: Bada
Date: June 5, 2018, 3:24 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: bopper link ---
>
> All you can do is set boundaries. If the other person
responds, then great! If not..then they get less access.
> ...
> 3) If this sort of thing happens often, then stop telling your
mom about what you do...or at least in less detail.
>
--- End Quote ---
She's already on an Information Diet (a phrase I learned on
eHell). There's a lot she doesn't know and my life is less
complicated for it!
As for telling her she might be right... That's not really my
nature. I just can't see myself using that option, though some
of the other suggestions on here seem more do-able, like
ignoring the question or asking her to not create discontentment
where there is none. And definitely leaving the room with the
phone when she's on video call or turning off speaker phone so
LO doesn't have to hear her nonsense.
*****************************************************
Page 2 of 4
DIR Previous Page
DIR Next Page