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#Post#: 7931--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
By: MOM21SON Date: July 6, 2018, 12:15 am
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Now I'm confused. I have told people that my sister gave me the
cut direct via FB messenger. So this is not a proper term. It
really doesn't matter, just curious.
#Post#: 7948--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
By: Hmmm Date: July 6, 2018, 9:44 am
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[quote author=MOM21SON link=topic=287.msg7931#msg7931
date=1530854133]
Now I'm confused. I have told people that my sister gave me the
cut direct via FB messenger. So this is not a proper term. It
really doesn't matter, just curious.
[/quote]
No, you can not issue a cut direct via FB Messenger. Even if it
was a group text and your sister responded to other's messages
but not yours, that could be interpreted as an oversight or just
not having input to your question or comment.
A cut direct is in person and done in such a way that other's
know and witness that you have chosen to pretend the offending
party does not exist.
It was always a pet peeve of mine on ehell when people used the
term to mean cutting someone off.
I've only done it once in my early 20's and really didn't know
there was a formal term for it. It was a situation at an event
for an old HS friend. I was standing with a group of people when
a friend's father approached the group and greeted me. I had
learned some very disturbing information about him. I just
turned to someone else and said "I see Laurie and want to go say
hi". He tried to approach me one more time and again I walked
away without speaking to him. Yes, questions and rumors started
about why I was refusing to speak to him. It wasn't for several
months later that people understood.
#Post#: 7955--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
By: IceBear Date: July 6, 2018, 10:23 am
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I've had it done to me by a relative because he had a brain
fart. We had a disagreement via email (never a good idea) but
we'd gone out for supper and apologized to each other and all
was good. Then the next time we ran into this relative in
public, he talked to literally everyone but me, even when I
smiled and waved. It was very painful. When I contacted him to
ask him why he did that, he said it was because I hadn't
apologized for the argument we'd had. I reminded him of the
supper conversation and he grudgingly agreed it happened.
I've since cut off all contact with that relative because I
couldn't handle the drama. If I saw him in public I'd still
acknowledge him though!
The only people I'd give the cut direct to are so heinous that I
wouldn't ever associate with them anyway, and if I saw them in
public I'd head the other way.
#Post#: 7957--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
By: VorFemme Date: July 6, 2018, 10:37 am
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Off the top of my head, I could only name two people that I'd CD
at the moment. One is a former friend of VorGuy's who showed
his true colors as a narcissistic mooch (among other things) and
we have not heard from him or about them in roughly thirty
years. The second was the ex-husband of one of my oldest
friends (she's now deceased) and their marriage fell apart when
he showed his true colors in the early 1990s (I don't remember
the exact date).
#Post#: 8023--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
By: Hanna Date: July 6, 2018, 9:21 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I did it years ago to a woman who was blatantly chasing after my
long-term boyfriend. I’d never met her but had ample evidence.
He seemed too dumb to get what was going on. Or maybe he knew.
I’m sure he liked the attention.
Anyway, we ran into her at a local church fair (not our church
or hers) and he tried to introduce me. I took one look at her,
made full eye contact and said, “huh.” Then just walked away.
He asked me later why I acted like that. He’d never seen me be
rude to a soul. I said “Oh she knows what she’s up to, even if
you don’t get it and I didn’t feel like pretending that I don’t
know, too.”
Still can’t believe I did that. I was proud of myself though.
Girl was trying to make a fool of me.
#Post#: 8031--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
By: MOM21SON Date: July 6, 2018, 10:47 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=287.msg7948#msg7948
date=1530888280]
[quote author=MOM21SON link=topic=287.msg7931#msg7931
date=1530854133]
Now I'm confused. I have told people that my sister gave me the
cut direct via FB messenger. So this is not a proper term. It
really doesn't matter, just curious.
[/quote]
No, you can not issue a cut direct via FB Messenger. Even if it
was a group text and your sister responded to other's messages
but not yours, that could be interpreted as an oversight or just
not having input to your question or comment.
A cut direct is in person and done in such a way that other's
know and witness that you have chosen to pretend the offending
party does not exist.
It was always a pet peeve of mine on ehell when people used the
term to mean cutting someone off.
I've only done it once in my early 20's and really didn't know
there was a formal term for it. It was a situation at an event
for an old HS friend. I was standing with a group of people when
a friend's father approached the group and greeted me. I had
learned some very disturbing information about him. I just
turned to someone else and said "I see Laurie and want to go say
hi". He tried to approach me one more time and again I walked
away without speaking to him. Yes, questions and rumors started
about why I was refusing to speak to him. It wasn't for several
months later that people understood.
[/quote]
Thanks! Well if I ever see her again, I'll be sure to give her
the proper cut direct! lol. Never been happier!
#Post#: 8283--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
By: TootsNYC Date: July 10, 2018, 12:43 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=peony link=topic=287.msg3977#msg3977
date=1527738470]
"That is so interesting because I always thought people were
using that term incorrectly! It is what it says - a very pointed
cutting of someone in public so people know. When people have
used that term, they've been saying things like you should avoid
the person, don't make others uncomfortable etc, but that's not
what it was meant to be. Other people were meant to know you
were cutting that person off socially, in no uncertain terms."
I always thought the cut direct was chiefly a private thing,
only obvious to the person you are cutting, and if you are in a
public setting you should quietly turn away if you see them
approaching, thus not making others uncomfortable. I never
thought it was supposed to make a public statement althought it
certainly could, if someone had done something so beyond the
pale of human society that any normal person should avoid them
forever.
[/quote]
That is the cut indirect.
#Post#: 8571--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
By: Chez Miriam Date: July 13, 2018, 1:17 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=287.msg8283#msg8283
date=1531244609]
[quote author=peony link=topic=287.msg3977#msg3977
date=1527738470]
"That is so interesting because I always thought people were
using that term incorrectly! It is what it says - a very pointed
cutting of someone in public so people know. When people have
used that term, they've been saying things like you should avoid
the person, don't make others uncomfortable etc, but that's not
what it was meant to be. Other people were meant to know you
were cutting that person off socially, in no uncertain terms."
I always thought the cut direct was chiefly a private thing,
only obvious to the person you are cutting, and if you are in a
public setting you should quietly turn away if you see them
approaching, thus not making others uncomfortable. I never
thought it was supposed to make a public statement althought it
certainly could, if someone had done something so beyond the
pale of human society that any normal person should avoid them
forever.
[/quote]
That is the cut indirect.
[/quote]
I don't like drama, so am much more likely to use the cut
indirect. My preference is for cutting off: by the time enough
egregious examples have accumulated, I'm likely so mad there is
no room for that person in my life.
One person whom I cut off and then made up with (several years
later), is heading straight for low contact at the moment.
That's another option to the nuclear one. ;)
#Post#: 8626--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
By: peony Date: July 13, 2018, 8:44 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=287.msg8283#msg8283
date=1531244609]
[quote author=peony link=topic=287.msg3977#msg3977
date=1527738470]
"That is so interesting because I always thought people were
using that term incorrectly! It is what it says - a very pointed
cutting of someone in public so people know. When people have
used that term, they've been saying things like you should avoid
the person, don't make others uncomfortable etc, but that's not
what it was meant to be. Other people were meant to know you
were cutting that person off socially, in no uncertain terms."
I always thought the cut direct was chiefly a private thing,
only obvious to the person you are cutting, and if you are in a
public setting you should quietly turn away if you see them
approaching, thus not making others uncomfortable. I never
thought it was supposed to make a public statement althought it
certainly could, if someone had done something so beyond the
pale of human society that any normal person should avoid them
forever.
[/quote]
That is the cut indirect.
[/quote]
You sent me scurrying to google, where I found this on the
Regency Blog:
(1) The cut direct is to stare an acquaintance in the face and
pretend not to know him.
(2) The cut indirect, to look another way, and pretend not to
see him.
(3) The cut sublime, to admire the top of some tall edifice
or the clouds of heaven till the person cut has passed by.
(4) The cut infernal, to stoop and adjust your boots till the
party has gone past.
I love that there are different names for where you look as you
make the cut.
#Post#: 9618--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
By: Despedina Date: July 25, 2018, 1:38 pm
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I had to comment after seeing something in one of my shows last
night. I've been watching the "Victoria" series on Masterpiece
Theater with Jenna Coleman. Its about the beginning years of
Queen Victoria's reign. In one scene it is assumed that
Victoria's uncle has put a "hit" out on his niece to gain the
throne. As he walks into a room, all the men there stopped
talking and made a big show of turning their backs and facing
the other direction in silence. He approached the man at the end
of the room, and exclaimed "Can you believe that? They just gave
me the Cut Direct!" Now I will forever imagine this is how you
should do it lol.
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