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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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DIR Return to: Etiquette Phrases and Tactics
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#Post#: 3861--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
DIR By: HenrysMom
Date: May 29, 2018, 2:12 pm
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I’ve done the cut direct only in two cases. Once to someone who
publicly and shamelessly threw me under the bus, then tried to
do the “but we’re friends” routine. The other was my
not-soon-enough-to-be-ExH, whose behavior before the split and
even now warrants being “sent to Coventry.”
#Post#: 3891--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
DIR By: nuit93
Date: May 29, 2018, 8:26 pm
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I had an ex that would still tag me in posts about "people he
still cared about", stuff like that. Would also comment on
pictures I posted of myself in a complementary manner that still
made me uncomfortable. I ended up unfriending him on FB back in
January. If he pushes back and asks about it (I doubt he'd
notice) I'll probably block him but so far he's behaved.
#Post#: 3977--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
DIR By: peony
Date: May 30, 2018, 10:47 pm
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"That is so interesting because I always thought people were
using that term incorrectly! It is what it says - a very pointed
cutting of someone in public so people know. When people have
used that term, they've been saying things like you should avoid
the person, don't make others uncomfortable etc, but that's not
what it was meant to be. Other people were meant to know you
were cutting that person off socially, in no uncertain terms."
I always thought the cut direct was chiefly a private thing,
only obvious to the person you are cutting, and if you are in a
public setting you should quietly turn away if you see them
approaching, thus not making others uncomfortable. I never
thought it was supposed to make a public statement althought it
certainly could, if someone had done something so beyond the
pale of human society that any normal person should avoid them
forever.
edited because I messed up the quote function.
#Post#: 4461--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
DIR By: MarisaWood
Date: June 5, 2018, 3:03 am
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I've only had to CD someone twice--and both times, it was in
situations where I'd already given the person more chances to
act like a civil human being toward me than I should have. I've
given people third, fourth, and fifth chances when two would be
enough.
That said, I'm more likely just to "cut off" rather than "cut
direct." Avoiding the person altogether, in a city of more than
600,000 people, is much easier and less stressful for me.
#Post#: 4466--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
DIR By: Venus193
Date: June 5, 2018, 6:37 am
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I apply the cut direct to someone I removed from my Meetup group
but who belongs to one I belong to but don't own. The organizer
of that group told him to stay away from me but at the most
recent event he came to he tried to get my attention. I turned
around and began talking to someone else.
This is someone who has creeped out others as well. The problem
is that if he were removed from that group he might still turn
up because he is on a lot of the same classical music mailing
lists.
#Post#: 4607--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
DIR By: Aleko
Date: June 6, 2018, 3:30 am
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I have give the Cut Direct just once in my life. It was at a
multi-period battle reenactment festival; I was strolling around
checking out the Athenian hoplites, the 15th-century artillery
and the Crimean lancers, when suddenly I realised the next group
was a bunch of Waffen-SS. I was revolted. I can cope with people
re-enacting WWII Wehrmacht, but SS . . . no. Just no. It doesn't
make any difference to me whether they are Nazi sympathisers in
reality or just enjoy it as a fantasy; either way I can't be
doing with it.
So, I had quickened my pace to get past them ASAP, when I
realised that one of these guys was hailing me by name. I looked
and realised that I did know him slightly from Napoleonic-period
reenactment. I just said 'I don't know you. I don't want to know
you.' and kept going.
This was a wholly instinctive reaction: I hadn't time to think
how best to handle the situation. But I still think it actually
was the best. No way was I going to greet and chat to someone in
that uniform, and there was absolutely no point stopping to
spell that out, because, frankly, if you need to ask why people
shun you when you're dressed as an SS man, you aren't going to
understand or accept the answer! And if he had attempted to
justify or explain his hobby (and from my small acquaintance
with him, he was the I'm-always-right type who probably would),
I would have said or done something a great deal less civil,
quite possibly something actionable in law.
#Post#: 4622--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
DIR By: guest426
Date: June 6, 2018, 8:43 am
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I've given the CD to one person (on several occasions, since we
happen to be related, and nothing she can ever say or do will
improve my opinion of her).
The reason: She referred to my nephew as "that little half
ni**er."
#Post#: 4623--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
DIR By: Bada
Date: June 6, 2018, 8:47 am
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--- Quote from: MrTango link ---
>
> I've given the CD to one person (on several occasions, since
we happen to be related, and nothing she can ever say or do will
improve my opinion of her).
>
> The reason: She referred to my nephew as "that little half
ni**er."
>
--- End Quote ---
I wanted to rate this one "sad", since its the closest rating
that applies. I think that anyone would name-call a child
something awful is just really sad and mean. But then I was
afraid it would be misinterpreted that I'm sad you cut the
cousin off.
Am I over thinking these ratings?
#Post#: 7685--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
DIR By: Victoria
Date: July 3, 2018, 12:17 pm
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--- Quote from: Bada link ---
>
> [quote author=MrTango link=topic=287.msg4622#msg4622
date=1528292630]
> I've given the CD to one person (on several occasions, since
we happen to be related, and nothing she can ever say or do will
improve my opinion of her).
>
> The reason: She referred to my nephew as "that little half
ni**er."
>
--- End Quote ---
I wanted to rate this one "sad", since its the closest rating
that applies. I think that anyone would name-call a child
something awful is just really sad and mean. But then I was
afraid it would be misinterpreted that I'm sad you cut the
cousin off.
Am I over thinking these ratings?
[/quote]
I overthink them as well so I don't really use them. Because
really any of them could be seen as referring to one of two
options. For example, I'll never use "dumb" because I'm afraid
it'll look like I think the poster is dumb rather than the
situation/person in the post.
#Post#: 7752--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cut Direct - When to Use "The Nuclear Option"
DIR By: Elisabunny
Date: July 4, 2018, 9:18 am
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--- Quote from: Victoria link ---
>
> [quote author=Bada link=topic=287.msg4623#msg4623
date=1528292877]
> [quote author=MrTango link=topic=287.msg4622#msg4622
date=1528292630]
> I've given the CD to one person (on several occasions, since
we happen to be related, and nothing she can ever say or do will
improve my opinion of her).
>
> The reason: She referred to my nephew as "that little half
ni**er."
>
--- End Quote ---
I wanted to rate this one "sad", since its the closest rating
that applies. I think that anyone would name-call a child
something awful is just really sad and mean. But then I was
afraid it would be misinterpreted that I'm sad you cut the
cousin off.
Am I over thinking these ratings?
[/quote]
I overthink them as well so I don't really use them. Because
really any of them could be seen as referring to one of two
options. For example, I'll never use "dumb" because I'm afraid
it'll look like I think the poster is dumb rather than the
situation/person in the post.
[/quote]
In this case, actually replying would be better because then you
could just post the angry face. Then the rest of us could agree
with you.
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