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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 3802--------------------------------------------------
Re: Social Script
DIR By: Judecat
Date: May 28, 2018, 4:59 pm
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--- Quote from: TootsNYC link ---
>
> I hate the social script in commerce situations (grocery
story, etc.). I really don't care how my waiter or the clerk is.
I wish them well (I've been known to thank the cashier at the
deli for getting up early to man the store so I can get my
coffee on my way to my cushy late-starting job), but I don't
want to talk like that.
>
>
>
--- End Quote ---
By the same token, this gas station/C-store cashier really
doesn't care how all the customers are. My standard greeting if
they approach the counter with chips and soda and other items
that are not behind the counter is Hi, is that all for you
today. If they come up empty-handed because they want tobacco,
or other things behind the counter, or just gas, then it's Hi,
what can I get for you today. But that's just my personal
style. We have one cashier who acts like he's everyone's best
friend. When I work with him, some customers will walk past me
to be in his line, other's will pass him by to get to my line.
If I'm asked how I'm doing I usually answer, "well, I'm
still here." I mean they don't really care about my feet
hurting, or my head hurts, or whatever. And I really don't
care except in a general sort of way about their sinuses or
whatever.
The short answer is that I don't feel the "social script" is
really applicable to commercial interactions.
#Post#: 3809--------------------------------------------------
Re: Social Script
DIR By: wonderfullyanonymous
Date: May 28, 2018, 5:57 pm
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As a cashier, we are asked to greet customers.
"Hi/Hello, how are you today? Did you find everything you were
looking for?"
I usually answer back "I'm doing good" or "So far so good,
thanks!"
On completion of the transaction, "Thank you, and have a great
day!"
I will engage in conversation with my customers if they seem
like they want to, but if someone is quiet, I don't force the
issue past the greeting.
#Post#: 3822--------------------------------------------------
Re: Social Script
DIR By: guest725
Date: May 29, 2018, 12:55 am
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I don't know. People in the service profession can't get a
break. People bitch if they say hi how are you and others bitch
if they don't.
Here's my take on it, FWIW. These people take a lot of crap from
the public--we read about it on these forums and online every
day. Maybe I'm insensitive to really introverted people, but a
hi how are you thanks bye have a nice day doesn't kill anyone
and perhaps helps if the next person is a complete tool.
Especially, given the comment above, these employees are
required to make polite inquiries so give them a break. I don't
know about others, but lately I haven't been given the spiel
about getting the store card or whatever. I admit, that while I
was well aware they had to ask, I did get testy when some
cashiers got pushy about it although I felt bad about it later
because they were just trying to hold on to their job.
#Post#: 3826--------------------------------------------------
Re: Social Script
DIR By: Girlie
Date: May 29, 2018, 7:34 am
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When I am asked how I am doing by someone with whom I do not
wish to go into conversation, I say, "I'm doing well, thank you,
and I hope you are." The other person may respond or not, but
I've never had anyone give me anything more detailed than "I am,
thanks."
#Post#: 3848--------------------------------------------------
Re: Social Script
DIR By: mathcat
Date: May 29, 2018, 12:10 pm
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--- Quote from: Girlie link ---
>
> “I'm doing well, thank you, and I hope you are."
>
--- End Quote ---
I think I can work with this. It does not kick the ball back
but it wishes the other person well. Thanks.
#Post#: 3849--------------------------------------------------
Re: Social Script
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: May 29, 2018, 12:14 pm
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--- Quote from: puppylove link ---
>
> I don't know. People in the service profession can't get a
break. People bitch if they say hi how are you and others bitch
if they don't.
>
--- End Quote ---
Oh, I don't mean to bitch about it.
I don't blame them for it, either.
I just don't value it, and so I try to keep the interaction "on
topic," and let my friendliness or civility show in my tone of
voice.
I actually think it's sort of intrusive or abusive for *me* (the
customer, the one with the money, and therefore the one in a
slightly more powerful position) to dig too deeply into their
personal life.
So sometimes I'll say, "fine, and you?" if I'm in the mood,
but I also don't feel bad about sliding right past that social
greeting into the business at hand. I make sure to do it in a
respectful and civil/friendly manner, of course.
--- Quote from: Girlie link ---
>
> When I am asked how I am doing by someone with whom I do not
wish to go into conversation, I say, "I'm doing well, thank you,
and I hope you are." The other person may respond or not, but
I've never had anyone give me anything more detailed than "I am,
thanks."
>
--- End Quote ---
Ooh, I like that--it expresses goodwill, but it doesn't really
open up the conversation to a Q&A format.
I hope you don't mind if I borrow it from time to time.
(I will say that, though I think of myself as an extrovert, I am
glad to live in a city where the convos w/ the cashiers, etc.,
tend to stay on business, from their end as well as mine)
#Post#: 3852--------------------------------------------------
Re: Social Script
DIR By: pierrotlunaire0
Date: May 29, 2018, 12:56 pm
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When I was still working for the DMV, I would greet customers
with a smile, and, "Hi! What can I do for you today?"
Now half the time, the customer would say, "Fine. How are you?"
So they were following the social script in their head. But it
did help for about half of the people who listened, that this
was going to be a cheerful but expeditious transaction. I was
very aware of the 50 or so people waiting for their number to be
called.
And although I was friendly, I tried to keep the conversation
tied to the task at hand. "Yes, I wish I were outside in this
great weather. Are you still at the same address?"
And the trickiest part: the close. I once read somewhere that
the most socially awkward point is when the interaction is over
because people are often reluctant to say good bye and leave
(hence the party guest who just won't leave even when the host
is visibly yawning and exhausted). I would hand them their
paperwork. "Here is your registration and sticker, and you are
all set. Have a nice day."
I learned in business interactions that someone has to be in
control or nothing gets done.
#Post#: 3996--------------------------------------------------
Re: Social Script
DIR By: NFPwife
Date: May 31, 2018, 11:24 am
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I've been following this thread with a lot of interest. I love
how this community gives me a chance to think about things and
this thread has explained/ decoded some of the responses I've
received...
I'm a natural extrovert and I tend to reply "Fine thanks, how
are you?" with, I hope, a fairly upbeat tone. I've had service
personnel respond with one variation or another of "I'm well and
thank you for asking." My DH has actually commented that they
seemed surprised that someone returned the social nicety. And we
were both surprised at the surprise (if that makes sense)
because we thought everyone just returned the volley. So this
thread was pretty enlightening for me.
We were in Chicago O'Hare airport and I was in line at the
McDonald's and the young woman behind the counter was coming
across as downright surly. People were surly right back, too.
When it was finally my turn I looked at her and blurted out,
"Oh, you're not feeling well. I'm sorry." (I don't know what I
observed to make me say that. She didn't seem obviously ill, but
there must have been something that I noticed. When I had the
reason behind the surly, it came right out of my mouth. Zero
filter.)
She replied with, "I am and today was supposed to be my day off
and I was planning to rest but someone called off and they
called me in at 5 a.m." (She said all this while getting my tea
and finishing my transaction. We weren't holding anyone up.) I
don't remember exactly what I said but it was something like,
"Wow, you're a trooper. Thanks for coming in today; this place
would've been even more of a zoo. I hope you feel better."
I'd like to think we both left the exchange better for it. Me
realizing that you never know what's going on for someone and
why they might be surly or short. I hope she left feeling like
someone noticed her dedication and appreciated her.
So, all that to say, maybe those few seconds for the social
interaction can make a difference.
I do like the "I'm well and hope you are too." I think it
expresses caring while keeping things on track so I might try it
in the future.
#Post#: 4006--------------------------------------------------
Re: Social Script
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: May 31, 2018, 12:11 pm
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nice point, NFPwife!
#Post#: 4168--------------------------------------------------
Re: Social Script
DIR By: GardenGal
Date: June 1, 2018, 11:51 pm
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I usually don't quite follow the social script, but my response
always has a positive effect. When asked how I am I just about
always reply, "I'm not in trouble yet, so that's good! How
about you?" I've been doing this for years, and have had a
positive response in the form of a big smile, a laugh, and a
seemingly genuine appreciation for my offbeat answer. And I
just very often get a funny response, too.
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