DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Family and Children
*****************************************************
#Post#: 82006--------------------------------------------------
Always late - when is it OK to proceed alone?
By: SnappyLT Date: July 21, 2025, 3:43 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Although this is a genuine question, based upon real events, it
is hypothetical, because the events actually happened more than
30 years ago.
Background: For the first twenty or so years of our marriage, my
wife was almost always late to almost everything. (Since then
she has greatly improved.)
At first, I was late alongside her, because as a newlywed
husband I believed that it was my duty to be with her even if
she was late.
My behavior changed after my wife's refusal to get ready on time
caused us to miss an international flight. After that, if I
wanted to be on time somewhere, I would get in my car and drive
separately. My wife would follow along in her car fifteen to
fifty minutes later. (If I didn't care about being on time in a
particular situation, I would wait and go late with my wife.)
We never missed another flight, though. Somehow my wife was able
to be on time for flights after that experience.
Hypothetical questions: What if my wife had not changed her
behavior regarding being on time for flights?
What if she had refused to get ready on time for another flight
after that first experience? Would it have been "good manners"
for me to have gone to the airport on time in my own car? Would
it have been good manners for me to board a plane on my own if
she had refused to get ready on time again?
I got to where it didn't bother me (much) to drive myself to,
say, a family party on time, and then have my wife show up late,
on her own.
But I think I would have had a hard time actually leaving for
the airport - or actually boarding a plane - on my own if she
was refusing to get ready on time.
I'm thankful that never came up again.
#Post#: 82008--------------------------------------------------
Re: Always late - when is it OK to proceed alone?
By: Rho Date: July 21, 2025, 9:32 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Boarding flights always involved hurrying across one of the
largest airports in the U.S. due to my husbands sense of timing.
A few years ago we literally ran across two concourses to
barely make our flight. I read husband the riot act and when
packing I always tell him I will NOT be running across the
airport ever again. And we manage to leave the house with time
to stroll to the gate.
#Post#: 82010--------------------------------------------------
Re: Always late - when is it OK to proceed alone?
By: Hmmm Date: July 22, 2025, 10:15 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I think the one being impolite would be your wife. Causing you
to wait on her, making you feel rushed, and even worse is making
you miss a flight are terrible manners.
The issue would be that if you are traveling for vacation, the
frostiness once she arrived hours or a day later would probably
have ruined the trip for both of you. So while I think you would
be in the right to go ahead and board, being right might not be
worth it.
#Post#: 82011--------------------------------------------------
Re: Always late - when is it OK to proceed alone?
By: lowspark Date: July 22, 2025, 11:29 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Writing my response in present tense even though I realize this
is all over and resolved, but it's just easier. :)
This is a tough one since it involves catching a flight.
Say you don't wait for her, what will you do once you arrive at
the destination? Will you go on to the hotel? Will you go on to
do the vacation activities, whether preplanned or just off the
cuff?
What happens when she does arrive on a later flight -- is that
later flight the same day? The next day?
She then has to arrange her own transportation to the hotel, and
then depending on the time of her arrival, figure out how to
meet up with you wherever you may be.
What if the ultimate destination is a cruise, or involves
tickets to a particular attraction which cannot be obtained
except in advance? Do you go on without her?
To clarify, I think you are 100% in the right no matter what you
choose to do... but you still have to deal with any fallout.
People who are chronically late are essentially saying that
their time is worth more than anyone else's.
Additionally, those people inevitably CAN be on time when it
really matters -- to them.
So once your wife changed her ways for the international flight
situation, she CLEARLY could change her behavior for ALL
situation.
She chose not to.
I have known people like this. Fortunately, it was never a
significant other.
It's really crummy behavior.
#Post#: 82015--------------------------------------------------
Re: Always late - when is it OK to proceed alone?
By: oogyda Date: July 23, 2025, 5:54 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=lowspark link=topic=2639.msg82011#msg82011
date=1753201752]
People who are chronically late are essentially saying that
their time is worth more than anyone else's.
Additionally, those people inevitably CAN be on time when it
really matters -- to them.
[/quote]
I agree with the above.
*****************************************************