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#Post#: 82001--------------------------------------------------
Baby Shower Planning
By: jpcher Date: July 19, 2025, 3:36 pm
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If you haven't seen my exciting news in the Good News topic, my
DD#1 is pregnant! ;D
I know it sounds a bit early to plan a baby shower (she's due in
January) but she wants to have a baby shower here in her
hometown (she lives in far-away state, did not have a bridal
shower in hometown) and doesn't want to fly during her third
trimester. So, we're looking at the end of October.
I'm getting info from DD#2 who asked me to contact Dad2B's mom
asking for guest list number. Considering the fact that it will
be a co-ed shower, both DD#1 and her DH have quite a few friends
here, add both our families I'm thinking the number of invited
guests will be 30-50.
That's another reason for early planning. DD#2 thinks we should
do it up nice and find a venue, instead of having it at my home.
Okay. We can do that. I'm thinking of a party between 1-4.
Serving apps and sweets instead of a full meal (lunch/brunch).
I have a few etiquette questions about wording on the
invitations, looking to all of you for help/ideas/suggestions.
1. Does stating the time indicate that there will not be a full
meal? Or should I say something like apps and sweets will be
served?
2. Concerning gifts -- is there a polite way to say please have
your gift sent to DD#1 and DH at their home address? I know it's
a bit tacky to even mention gifts in an invitation, but it would
be difficult for them to bring all the gifts home with them on a
flight.
3. Since it will probably be a catered affair, how do I handle
+1s? I will be sending evites.
Now we move on to games and prizes . . . I know I can google but
would appreciate your input on your favorite baby shower games.
Thanks!
I'm sure I will come up with additional questions as time goes
by, but for now Thanks for any help you have to offer!
#Post#: 82002--------------------------------------------------
Re: Baby Shower Planning
By: Rho Date: July 19, 2025, 11:45 pm
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" is there a polite way to say please have your gift sent to
DD#1 and DH at their home address? " A few years ago I was at a
local Bridal shower for out of town bride. I was shocked to
learn hostesses returned all the gifts (mostly from Bed Bath,
Beyond) & sent credit slip to bride who then re bought gifts at
her local B,B,B.
My personal opinion, and probably it won't be popular, is that
if I had to pay to ship a gift I would be buying a smaller gift.
Congrats again on upcomming Grandmahood
#Post#: 82003--------------------------------------------------
Re: Baby Shower Planning
By: Wanaca Date: July 20, 2025, 5:19 am
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1. I think it would be nice to mention apps and sweets on the
invitation.
2. Is there a reason that the parents-to-be or the hostess
cannot ship the gifts wherever they want? That would be the
most logical and gracious way to handle it. It would be one
package, packed and shipped however they want. I don't
understand why they can't do it.
#Post#: 82004--------------------------------------------------
Re: Baby Shower Planning
By: Rose Red Date: July 20, 2025, 9:51 am
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1. Yes, say "appetizers and desserts will be served" so guests
will know if they need to eat lunch beforehand. Some people eat
lunch around 1pm.
2. Maybe "DD & DH's shipping address: 123 XYZ Street, NY NY"
without mentioning gifts and hope they get the hint? Sorry, I
don't know about this one.
3. Ask for RSVP with how many will be attending and with a
deadline. Then give the number of "yes" to the caterer, but
order extra servings since it's always a good idea to have more
than less/just enough.
[quote author=Rho link=topic=2638.msg82002#msg82002
date=1752986723]
" is there a polite way to say please have your gift sent to
DD#1 and DH at their home address? " A few years ago I was at a
local Bridal shower for out of town bride. I was shocked to
learn hostesses returned all the gifts (mostly from Bed Bath,
Beyond) & sent credit slip to bride who then re bought gifts at
her local B,B,B.
My personal opinion, and probably it won't be popular, is that
if I had to pay to ship a gift I would be buying a smaller gift.
Congrats again on upcomming Grandmahood
[/quote]
Bolding mine. Yeah, the first time I encountered this was from a
coworker in the 90's. I thought this was something this person
thought up. I found out this person wasn't the only one as the
years go by and the internet became easily accessible to read
stories like this and "hacks" like this. I wouldn't pay extra to
ship either and would just get something smaller or a gift card.
#Post#: 82007--------------------------------------------------
Re: Baby Shower Planning
By: jpcher Date: July 21, 2025, 4:23 pm
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[quote author=Rho link=topic=2638.msg82002#msg82002
date=1752986723]
" is there a polite way to say please have your gift sent to
DD#1 and DH at their home address? " A few years ago I was at a
local Bridal shower for out of town bride. I was shocked to
learn hostesses returned all the gifts (mostly from Bed Bath,
Beyond) & sent credit slip to bride who then re bought gifts at
her local B,B,B.
My personal opinion, and probably it won't be popular, is that
if I had to pay to ship a gift I would be buying a smaller gift.
Congrats again on upcomming Grandmahood (Thanks! ;D)
[/quote]
and
[quote author=Wanaca link=topic=2638.msg82003#msg82003
date=1753006760]
1. I think it would be nice to mention apps and sweets on the
invitation.
2. Is there a reason that the parents-to-be or the hostess
cannot ship the gifts wherever they want? That would be the
most logical and gracious way to handle it. It would be one
package, packed and shipped however they want. I don't
understand why they can't do it.
[/quote]
Rho -- I get that. It makes sense. Thanks for your input. I
guess I just figured that a lot of people do on-line shopping
these days and sometimes (Prime for example) shipping is free,
so it didn't add an extra expense.
Wanaca -- No reason at all. That certainly can be done. But with
38 guests (that's the current count), especially with larger
items, that's going to be a big lift. But doable if you all
think it's necessary.
PLUS . . . I did not put this in my OP (sorry!): DD#1 does not
want to spend 2ish hours of people watching her opening gifts at
the party, where (face it ::)) people get bored of all the
oohing and aahing (Yay! another 12-pack of onesies!). She would
rather not be the center of attention in that way but would more
enjoy spending the allotted three-hour party time mingling with
her friends/family and playing games! Casual and fun.
Which brings me to another question -- is it rude to not open
gifts at such an occasion?
[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=2638.msg82004#msg82004
date=1753023107]
2. Maybe "DD & DH's shipping address: 123 XYZ Street, NY NY"
without mentioning gifts and hope they get the hint? Sorry, I
don't know about this one.[/quote]
I like this wording. Thanks!
Please keep your thoughts coming. I appreciate all of them! ;D
#Post#: 82013--------------------------------------------------
Re: Baby Shower Planning
By: lowspark Date: July 22, 2025, 2:44 pm
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I agree that you should set expectations clearly so say what
you're serving.
I would NOT play games or do the typical baby shower activities.
It's a large party, you're skipping the traditional gift
opening, and it's co-ed, so I would keep it more like just a
social gathering.
With all that in mind, you might word the invitation something
like,
Suzy and Tommy are expecting!
Please come enjoy light bites and sweets to celebrate with them
on
Saturday, October 32, 1-4 pm
at Venue
The parents-to-be are looking forward to spending time with
their friends and family in YourCity.
Suzy and Tommy are registered at BabyStore.
Please consider shipping your gift directly to their home in
faraway-city.
1234 Main
FarawayCity
#Post#: 82016--------------------------------------------------
Re: Baby Shower Planning
By: Hmmm Date: July 23, 2025, 1:50 pm
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I like Lowspark wording.
I would probably change the time to 2 to 5pm instead. I've
hosted a couple of co-ed showers and many of the guests,
especially when there were visitors from out of town, went out
to dinner or drinks after. I also just think that gives people
to do their Saturday morning plans and then head home, dress and
make to a 2pm event.
#Post#: 82017--------------------------------------------------
Re: Baby Shower Planning
By: jpcher Date: July 23, 2025, 2:32 pm
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lowspark -- THANKS! Love the wording for the invite. Huge help!
;D
I'm not a huge fan of games either, but DD#1 said "Balloons, a
photo stage and LOTS of games!" was all she asked for. Not
everybody needs to participate, and we'll try to make the games
a side-show (sprinkled in here and there) if that makes sense.
Hmmm -- I'll bring up the time change to the committee . . . I
like the logic behind it. Thanks!
Anybody have any thoughts on games? Please? ;D
Also -- a new question -- there will be six (so far) children
attending. Ages 3-8. I thought about having a kiddie area/table
with coloring books and stuff to help keep them entertained. Any
thoughts on this would be appreciated!
#Post#: 82039--------------------------------------------------
Re: Baby Shower Planning
By: jpcher Date: August 3, 2025, 2:06 pm
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We chose a venue! Yay!
The guest list has grown to 50 people.
Games? Any thoughts?
#Post#: 82042--------------------------------------------------
Re: Baby Shower Planning
By: Gellchom Date: August 6, 2025, 3:47 pm
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I agree that 1:00 sounds like lunch. You can move the time, but
I'd look into a simple, light lunch. You say you don't want
games (I'm not crazy about them either, but I will do them if
asked), and it sounds like you are at least considering not
opening the gifts at the shower. So what are you planning to do
all that time? Lunch would be an activity, as it were. And
often a meal is, surprisingly, less expensive than little
pick-ups, which are labor-intensive and need a lot to seem
plentiful. You could have sandwiches or pizza or something; it
doesn't need to be fancy.
Please don't ask the guests to ship the gifts. It seems
practical, because many stores/websites offer free shipping to
the buyer, which she wouldn't have if she shipped them herself,
but it would leave a bad impression, I fear.
We discussed this at length on the old board, remember?
Although I have gotten used to it over the last few years, I
still don't like the idea of calling a party a "shower" if you
don't open the gifts (or at least display them) at the party.
That's why showers are the exception to making any indication on
an invitation that gifts are expected -- because you couldn't do
the gift-opening without them. I know many people find the gift
opening at showers boring, but I like it, especially when not
all the gifts are from a registry that everyone saw already.
People often make or find such cute baby things; it's fun to see
them. And people who choose a gift carefully, let alone make
something special, and even those who love to do creative and
beautiful gift wrap, love to see your reaction and appreciation
of their effort in real time. Without the gift opening, it can
start to feel like trying to maximize the loot while minimizing
the fuss over the givers.
If you really don't want to open gifts, you can just call it a
party or a luncheon or happy hour or whatever without using the
word "shower" and without including registry info; people are
all going to give baby gifts anyway, and they will know or ask
how to find registry information. They may even ship them!
Rho, I'm surprised that you were "shocked" by learning that the
hostesses of a shower returned the gifts to a local branch of a
store that had a branch in the bride's home, to be rebought
there. What was off-putting about it to you, Rho? And how did
you even come to find out?
When my first daughter-in-law was in that position many years
ago, the bride's mom (the hostess) was concerned about how she
would get stuff home, and was considering asking people to ship
and just bring a picture to the shower, but she thought that
that wouldn't be much fun. So I suggested exactly what Rho's
friends did: return the Macy's and BB&B gifts (most of them) for
a credit that the bride would then use to get the identical
items in her city. Any other gifts could go in her luggage or
be retrieved another time. She loved that idea, and we tried to
do it together the day after the shower -- and we got a great
surprise. Both stores said that instead of that, they would
(they preferred to, in fact; maybe because then their store got
credit for the sale? Or because it was easier than restocking?)
ship the gifts -- for free -- right to the bride's door. So
even much easier than the return-and-rebuy plan, and the actual
item the giver purchased was the one she kept, although I can't
think why that should matter to the giver.
So maybe the stores would do that for you, too, jpcher (maybe
call and ask)-- but even if it doesn't, I don't see anything
wrong with the return-for-credit-and-rebuy-the
same-items-in-your-town idea. (Maybe I will if Rho explains how
it hit her!) Jpcher, if you're worried others might not like
it, just don't mention it; you aren't doing anything wrong.
Certainly I can't imagine it being more "off" than asking guests
to ship the gifts.
Just my two cents. I'm sure it will be lovely and your daughter
and guests will have a wonderful time.
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