DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Life in General
*****************************************************
#Post#: 81593--------------------------------------------------
Sharing - not exactly what I (actually didn't) sign up for!
By: lowspark Date: October 24, 2024, 11:21 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I went to dinner with a friend a few nights ago. I'll call her
Jessica.
<Background>
Jessica and I met when we were members of a meet up group
several years ago, but have never gotten together, just the two
of us, before. The meet-up group broke up a long time back, and
I've only seen her less than a handful of times since then.
We're friends on Facebook and something she posted prompted me
to PM her and initiate getting together.
Thus the dinner.
<End background>
We met at a fairly nice restaurant, and lucky day! there was
about an hour left on the Happy Hour which offered half-price
appetizers, which was a pretty good deal as their appetizers
were $$$. I decided to order two appetizers as my meal, and
Jessica did the same. When she ordered, she said to the server,
"Bring an extra plate, we're going to share."
There was no discussion first -- she just decided. But whatever.
Ok. I'm fine to share.
The food came. Both of her dishes consisted of let's say, a meat
and a veg.
My dishes had a mixture of components, with a limited amount of
each component.
She offered me her dishes so I took a bit of each, each meat,
each veg.
She then proceeded to take some of mine, but here's the issue:
She took ALL of some of the limited ingredients from each dish.
So I was left with what was now a partial dish.
I hesitate to give too many details such that it would be
recognizable, but it would be like if I took all of the veggie
off of both of her dishes, leaving behind just the meat.
I'm happy to share, but I do want to taste all the components of
the dish I ordered!
What do you think of this?
And what would you have done, if anything?
#Post#: 81594--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sharing - not exactly what I (actually didn't) sign up for!
By: betty Date: October 24, 2024, 11:37 am
---------------------------------------------------------
That's pretty rude!
Next time, you'll know to establish if you are sharing or not
BEFORE the server or the food arrives. I'd probably tell her, "I
know you like to share but I want to eat all of the dishes I
order tonight." And if you have the appetite and money for
something extra, "Do you want to get something else to split?"
If this happens again, as soon as she takes all of anything, say
"Excuse me, I'd like to try some of the ______ too" and reach a
clean utensil over to her plate and take what you want. Don't
give her a chance to start eating it! That might normally be a
little rude but in this case, it's fair.
#Post#: 81595--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sharing - not exactly what I (actually didn't) sign up for!
By: Rho Date: October 24, 2024, 9:26 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
If I enjoyed the time with Jessica I would have said nothing.
If I didn't enjoy the meet up I would make a mental note to drop
her.
Either way I would think she was clueless about taking your
food and not being aggressive or mean. The sharing bit is like
someone asking a bill to be split evenly when someone else wants
a separate bill.
#Post#: 81597--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sharing - not exactly what I (actually didn't) sign up for!
By: vintagegal Date: October 26, 2024, 6:39 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I would be unhappy about that. For some reason I am picturing
scallops, which I love, and someone taking all of them off my
plate. Maybe (if it happens again ) when she reaches over with
her fork, pull the plate back (or block the fork) and say "Let
me put some on the plate for you." Then give her a taste of
each one.
#Post#: 81602--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sharing - not exactly what I (actually didn't) sign up for!
By: lowspark Date: October 28, 2024, 11:33 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I will probably never get together with her one-on-one again.
Not because of this, but because we just don't have that much in
common. Which is probably why we've never connected outside the
group before.
But yeah, if, in the future, I got together with her again, I'd
be on alert. I agree that she was most likely being "clueless
about taking your food and not being aggressive or mean".
But my question was more "what would you have done?"
Like in the moment, if it happened to you, unexpectedly, how do
you think you would have reacted?
Would you have remained silent? Would you have said something?
Would you have taken back some of what she took?
Maybe it's hard to know what you would do without the benefit of
forethought.
I'm just looking back on my own reaction and wondering about how
others might have acted in the spur of the moment.
#Post#: 81605--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sharing - not exactly what I (actually didn't) sign up for!
By: Hmmm Date: October 28, 2024, 11:57 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Well that would have been very annoying. I'm imaging something
like individual nachos and she took all the guacamole. I guess
if I caught it quick enough as she was scooping it all onto her
plate I might have said "Oh, I didn't get in quac yet. Would you
put some back?"
#Post#: 81606--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sharing - not exactly what I (actually didn't) sign up for!
By: vintagegal Date: October 28, 2024, 2:29 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
sometimes your flabber is so gasted you can't think of what to
do in the moment!
#Post#: 81607--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sharing - not exactly what I (actually didn't) sign up for!
By: Wanaca Date: October 28, 2024, 3:41 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
In the moment, I would have probably let out a spontaneous
"Aaak!" while looking down at my plate. Then stumbled around
explaining that I wanted to try the escargot. That's not very
refined, but that's probably what I would have done
automatically. With the current prices, I seldom go out to eat
anymore, so I'd almost guarantee that's what I would say. I
wouldn't keep quiet. That's for sure.
#Post#: 81619--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sharing - not exactly what I (actually didn't) sign up for!
By: NFPwife Date: October 31, 2024, 4:32 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=vintagegal link=topic=2615.msg81606#msg81606
date=1730143795]
sometimes your flabber is so gasted you can't think of what to
do in the moment!
[/quote]
This is so me! That's why I love the discussions here because
I've learned to respond better in the moment. There was an
article recently that rudeness can be life threatening.
Basically, when people are rude to medical personnel it can
short circuit the medical personnel's response and cost precious
time. (I'll look for the article and maybe start a thread.)
#Post#: 81625--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sharing - not exactly what I (actually didn't) sign up for!
By: holly firestorm Date: November 3, 2024, 6:39 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Some good advice here! Yes, Jessica was very rude and there were
some tactful ways to tell her "no" next time. You might also
tell her you have a little cold and don't want to share the food
so that you won't also be sharing the germs.
But, as I think someone else said, just tell her you don't want
to share the next meal so no extra plate will be needed.
*****************************************************
DIR Next Page