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       #Post#: 81573--------------------------------------------------
       what would you do? (gifts)
       By: vintagegal Date: October 1, 2024, 9:19 am
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       I have upwards of 5 (step)grandkids through my late husband. As
       they are mostly all teens, I have been sending them checks for
       birthdays and Christmas. Sometimes I get a thank you, sometimes
       not. I always intended to stop when they reached 18.  The oldest
       one did reach 18, sent a check, no acknowledgement, although I
       did previously get a TY for a (much more generous) check for
       their HS graduation. There are two in this branch of the family,
       the younger one never acknowledges a gift. So with Christmas
       coming up, would you send both checks, or only one for the
       younger one, or none? I am leaning toward none.
       Another branch has one kid, never acknowledges gifts, will
       graduate next year. I am thinking of doing only the grad gift.
       As background, we live about 175 miles apart, they make no
       effort to keep in touch.
       #Post#: 81574--------------------------------------------------
       Re: what would you do? (gifts)
       By: lowspark Date: October 1, 2024, 11:11 am
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       None.
       For any of them.
       This says it all:
       [quote author=vintagegal link=topic=2614.msg81573#msg81573
       date=1727792364]
       As background, we live about 175 miles apart, they make no
       effort to keep in touch.
       [/quote]
       #Post#: 81578--------------------------------------------------
       Re: what would you do? (gifts)
       By: jpcher Date: October 1, 2024, 2:57 pm
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       I agree with stopping all checks. See how long it takes them to
       contact you to see if you're all right.
       Do thier parents keep in touch with you?
       #Post#: 81579--------------------------------------------------
       Re: what would you do? (gifts)
       By: vintagegal Date: October 1, 2024, 4:49 pm
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       very rarely.
       #Post#: 81580--------------------------------------------------
       Re: what would you do? (gifts)
       By: sandisadie Date: October 1, 2024, 5:55 pm
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       I agree, somewhat, to not sending checks from now on.  Maybe, if
       any of them are still not 12 or 13 then a small check might be
       ok because you have been sending the older ones a money gift in
       the past.
       #Post#: 81581--------------------------------------------------
       Re: what would you do? (gifts)
       By: Rose Red Date: October 2, 2024, 5:55 am
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       Send a card if you wish but no more checks. Very rude they don't
       thank you even by text. That says they don't want that kind of
       relationship so give them their wish.
       #Post#: 81583--------------------------------------------------
       Re: what would you do? (gifts)
       By: Starry Diadem Date: October 3, 2024, 1:47 am
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       I wouldn’t go beyond birthday cards, and a family card at
       Christmas. The most I might do to preserve the relationship -
       and only after thinking through whether that was worth the
       effort - is send a small family Christmas gift for parents and
       grandchildren alike. Some mildly luxurious food item (posh
       chocolate or biscuits/cookies), for example.
       #Post#: 81610--------------------------------------------------
       Re: what would you do? (gifts)
       By: vintagegal Date: October 29, 2024, 7:37 am
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       I've pretty much decided, family gift (local food specialty) for
       the family that sends me cookies. Cards for the other two
       families. No more checks until graduation.
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