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#Post#: 81191--------------------------------------------------
Hosting your own Bday party
By: jpcher Date: May 7, 2024, 3:19 pm
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The thread in Life in General "What did you just say?" made me
think of this situation and wonder what you think.
DD#2 is hosting her own bday party. It's a milestone year and
she's doing it up right. She invited 10 of her girlfriends
(including two cousins) over for a slumber party. This is a
throwback of some of the parties she had when she was a child.
DD#2 is making a dinner buffet-style meal (pasta dish, chicken
dish, salad, bread, etc.) along with apps. She's also planning
on ordering a late-night snack of pizza.
Let there be games! She has several games planned and was
wondering what sort of prizes to award the winner. I suggested a
small stuffed animal, like what we gave for prizes when she was
younger. She said "That's not something worth competing for!
Maybe a $10 gift card with the stuffed animal." Me: ( ::)) You
do you. LOL!
So, she's going BIG Hoopla.
PLUS! She's making goodie bags for all of her guests. I mean
nice adult-type goodie bags.
This brings me to my question.
The RSVP date has passed. Neither of her cousins have responded.
She asked me if she should make goodie bags for them just in
case . . . cousins are known for not responding to invites and
then showing up, or not.
I told DD#2 to not make goodie bags for them. If they show up?
Too bad, so sad, you don't get a goodie bag but enjoy the party
anyway!
DD#2 thinks that she should make the goodie bags.
What do you think?
#Post#: 81192--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hosting your own Bday party
By: Wanaca Date: May 7, 2024, 3:56 pm
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I think that if the cousins show up, and she did not make them
goodie bags, that your DD2 would be stressed and unhappy. So,
she should make them.
If it were me, it wouldn't bother me, so I would not make them.
But it's not me--it's your DD2. For her own sake, she should
make them and be stress-free.
#Post#: 81193--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hosting your own Bday party
By: sandisadie Date: May 7, 2024, 5:48 pm
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I think she should make goodie bags for the cousins too. If
they don't show up she can find another use for them later. But
- if they do attend then perhaps she could ask them sometime
later why they didn't bother to RSVP. Hope they all have a
blast!!
#Post#: 81195--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hosting your own Bday party
By: oogyda Date: May 8, 2024, 6:27 am
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It has always been my understanding, etiquette-wise, that a host
is supposed to call the invitee who has not responded in a
timely manner to inquire about their intentions. I think that's
what she should do.
#Post#: 81196--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hosting your own Bday party
By: Aleko Date: May 8, 2024, 8:31 am
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[quote]It has always been my understanding, etiquette-wise, that
a host is supposed to call the invitee who has not responded in
a timely manner to inquire about their intentions. I think
that's what she should do. [/quote]
Or drop them a line saying 'so sorry that you can't come'! ;)
#Post#: 81197--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hosting your own Bday party
By: Hmmm Date: May 8, 2024, 9:13 am
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I agree about texting the cousins to confirm if they are coming.
As far as the goodie bags, if she has to buy extra stuff or
doing personalized stuff that will go wasted, then no I wouldn't
make them. Or I'd make them with the stuff that I would use (or
you would use) and leave out the stuff that is personalized or
just end up in a drawer somewhere.
#Post#: 81198--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hosting your own Bday party
By: Rose Red Date: May 8, 2024, 9:27 am
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[quote author=oogyda link=topic=2594.msg81195#msg81195
date=1715167665]
It has always been my understanding, etiquette-wise, that a host
is supposed to call the invitee who has not responded in a
timely manner to inquire about their intentions. I think that's
what she should do.
[/quote]
I think so too. If she's close enough to invite them, she's
close enough to call them to ask what's up. If they won't give a
clear answer, it would be nice to make extra goodie bags just in
case, but absolutely not necessary if DD2 doesn't want the extra
expense or get stuck with clutter later (unless she can donate).
Personally, the older I get, the less I cater to rudeness and
vagueness.
#Post#: 81199--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hosting your own Bday party
By: Gellchom Date: May 10, 2024, 11:58 am
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Yeah, I don't think to goodie bag or not to goodie bag is the
main issue.
She needs to find out if they are coming, period. Her sister
needs to know how much food to provide, too.
I don't think that it is a big deal to text or call two cousins
and ask rather than risk possibly setting everyone up for an
awkward or embarrassing situation. Things do slip people's
minds.
#Post#: 81208--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hosting your own Bday party
By: lowspark Date: May 13, 2024, 8:46 am
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Your daughter needs to do whatever will make HER happy. If it
will make her happy to have the goody bags on hand, or if it
will stress her NOT to make them, then make them.
I try to remember this when I'm in this kind of quandary:
"You can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself."
People who don't respond to invitations, or don't come after
they've said they would, get put on my "B" list for invitations.
I only invite them to events where it doesn't make or break the
party if they don't show up.
#Post#: 81219--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hosting your own Bday party
By: jpcher Date: May 16, 2024, 8:59 pm
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DD#2 did text them two days before the party with a more kindly
put message than "Hey! Are you coming or not?" (but that's what
she meant) LOL! And she already put together a goodie bag for
each. Things that would not go to waste if they were a no-show.
The cousins did attend, so I'm glad she took your advice (and
not mine) and made the goodie bags for them just in case.
Side note -- the party was awesome. According to DD#2 "Best
party ever!" But then she said (even during the planning) "I
don't know how you did it for all those years. This is a lot of
work!"
Me: "Welcome to the world of being a wonderful hostess. You did
a great job! Next party will be easier because you know what to
expect."
DD#2: "Yeah, well, I don't think it's going to happen again any
time soon. But all the planning, minus the stress, really was
fun. And seeing my guests happy? Was satisfying. I done did
good, right?"
Me: Right. ;D
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