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       #Post#: 80860--------------------------------------------------
       Another tipping question . . .
       By: jpcher Date: January 15, 2024, 5:38 pm
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       I don't think this is so much etiquette-wise of a question,
       maybe this should go into the coffee break topic, but I'm
       wondering about your thoughts on this.
       A friend (Sally) and I went out to lunch today to a place that
       we've been to before. Food is delicious and service has always
       been awesome. However, today we went a bit earlier than usual .
       . . in the height of lunch-service time and service was quite a
       bit slower.
       The place was jammed packed and we were lucky enough to get the
       last table without waiting. Just for perspective, we were seated
       at the very back table where I had my back to the wall and was
       able to view the entire floor service area.
       Within minutes the server was there to take our drink orders. It
       took about 15 minutes for us to get our drinks and by then we
       knew what we wanted to order. Server dropped off our drinks
       saying "I'll be back to take your order." and walked (rushed)
       away. Sally was starting to get a bit miffed and made some
       comments. (Neither of us was in a time-crunch rush.) I told her
       to relax, and we went on with conversation.
       Okay, granted, it seemed to be a bit longer wait than normal
       before server came back to take our order. I wasn't ticking
       minutes at this point, but out of the corner of my eye, during
       conversation, I watched Server flitting from this table to that,
       bringing out drinks, serving food, to-go boxes, checking on
       tables, closing out tickets and all that. I realized that she
       was the only server waiting on oh so many tables in this very
       crowded restaurant.
       After we placed our order, the food was served promptly, was hot
       and wonderful. I would say it was about 45 minutes from seating
       to serving.
       While we were eating the place emptied out. End of lunch rush.
       When I went to the counter to pay the bill, Server was standing
       there looking over her remaining tables.
       I looked at her and said "Wow! You were so busy today"  She said
       "Oh. my. yes. Thank you so much for your patience! I'm sorry it
       took so long, but other server called in sick today. It was
       crazy."
       I gave her a $20 bill (normal 20% tip would have been $14), said
       thank you. Your service was awesome.
       Sally said that I was stupid for doing that. She wouldn't have
       tipped at all for such slow service.
       I said "Next time? We'll just not go during lunch rush time."
       Given the circumstances, was waiting 45 minutes to be served a
       meal too long? and was I "stupid" for giving an extra tip to an
       over-worked server?
       Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks!
       #Post#: 80861--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Another tipping question . . .
       By: sandisadie Date: January 15, 2024, 5:56 pm
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       I think it was great that you read the situation and were
       willing to wait to be served.  You could have just left and gone
       somewhere else.  But - you came for the wonderful food and
       that's what you finally got.  You were able to observe the
       server taking great care of everyone and thought she deserved a
       great tip and you could afford it.  Do take this friend another
       time (not the rush lunch hour).
       #Post#: 80863--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Another tipping question . . .
       By: Rho Date: January 15, 2024, 8:53 pm
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       Not freinds business if you overtipped. Undertipping is another
       story.
       Analogy:  Driving somewhere in rush hour traffic--you can leave
       home 8:30 AM and arrive 9:30 AM OR you can leave home after the
       rush 9:00AM and arrive 9:30 AM.  Theres a saying:  We are short
       of staff today  don't punish those who ARE here to serve you.
       another thought--Where was the manager?  A good manager is in
       the dining room helping his staff.
       #Post#: 80864--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Another tipping question . . .
       By: shadowfox79 Date: January 16, 2024, 1:05 am
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       If your server had obviously been hanging around fiddling with
       her phone and ignoring people, then I wouldn't have tipped.
       However, you saw she was run off her feet and gave you the best
       service she could, so I'd have done what you did. It wasn't her
       fault she was the only one working the lunch rush.
       #Post#: 80865--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Another tipping question . . .
       By: NewHomeowner Date: January 16, 2024, 6:40 am
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       I agree with the others. You did the right thing.  The server
       was rushed off her feet, and she still managed to give you
       cheerful service, even if it was a bit slow.  That's the peril
       of going during a busy time.  I would have tipped that big, too.
       
       #Post#: 80866--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Another tipping question . . .
       By: lowspark Date: January 16, 2024, 8:29 am
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       I agree - you did the right thing. She was doing her best under
       suboptimal circumstances.
       I also agree that the manager should have been out there helping
       her!
       #Post#: 80867--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Another tipping question . . .
       By: NFPwife Date: January 16, 2024, 9:23 am
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       The manager definitely should have been helping her, unless they
       were in the back helping a short staffed kitchen.
       What you chose to tip is none of Sally's business and her
       commentary wasn't needed. Let alone an ad hominem attack.
       #Post#: 80868--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Another tipping question . . .
       By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 16, 2024, 10:53 am
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       Sometimes when the service is slow because the server has too
       many tables, I have tipped slightly less (15-20%) figuring that
       across all the tables the take home money amount would be higher
       because the person had more tables.
       However, I have often done the same as you and tipped more
       because the person was hustling and providing the best service
       possible.
       I don't know that one is right or that one is wrong. I think
       tipping is a personal choice and should be what you feel
       appropriate for the situation.
       #Post#: 80869--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Another tipping question . . .
       By: chigger Date: January 16, 2024, 3:31 pm
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       My honest opinion is Sally is a jackass. She should have
       realized this server was running her ass off, and doing the best
       she could. All it takes is a brief look around. Then, she is
       going to call you "stupid" for how you choose to tip? And she
       wouldn't have left a tip at all, sorry she is a really bad word
       that I'm sure I can't say here.
       #Post#: 80870--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Another tipping question . . .
       By: Wanaca Date: January 16, 2024, 3:57 pm
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       I was a server in my 20's and had many short-staffed days.  It's
       tough.  I would have tipped the same as you did because she was
       really trying her best and I know from experience that there are
       plenty of "Sally's" out there.  There are so many places to meet
       up with friends that I don't think I would want to go to a sit
       down restaurant with Sally.  Servers remember people who don't
       tip.  I wouldn't want to be thought of as guilty by association
       should she decide not to tip in the future.  Fast food would be
       fine for a friend like that.
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