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#Post#: 80766--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: AnnNottingham Date: January 3, 2024, 9:06 pm
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No, not OK in my etiquette book. You can ask close friends for
help moving, for instance, with pizza and sodas afterward-but
it's not a "party". All involved understand it's going to be
hot, hard, work but at least there's food and drinks after.
Everyone understands you need help lifting things.
This sounds more like disorganization masked as a party.
#Post#: 80767--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 3, 2024, 9:19 pm
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[quote author=jpcher link=topic=2579.msg80764#msg80764
date=1704323460]
DDP -- do you have any idea as to how many people were invited?
[/quote]
Twenty eight people were invited through Facebook. Six of those
accepted and are marked as "going". Three as "maybe". I'm
actually the only person to decline, but I imagine that not all
of those will show up. Still, if these are supposed to be
intimate events, they have already maxed out.
As someone who is child free, I had not realized that nesting
was instinctual. It makes sense, though. But that's probably the
problem... I never felt the urge to want to have kids, so my
nesting desires are broken, too!
#Post#: 80768--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 3, 2024, 9:26 pm
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[quote author=Rho link=topic=2579.msg80758#msg80758
date=1704255140]
If invited I would agonize if I should bring a gift too.
[/quote]
When I read this comment, I related strongly. I could have
easily seen myself posting this whole thread as a question,
"Should I bring a gift to a nesting party?" When checking the
invitation for invited numbers, I noted that it clearly states
that they want no gifts.
I'm also wondering about the etiquette of the parents throwing
this party themselves. Maybe that rule is only for showers, but
that feels off to me, too.
#Post#: 80771--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: Aleko Date: January 4, 2024, 1:19 am
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[quote]If you need help setting up the nursery or whatever, and
you want to ask over a couple of friends or close family, and
offer to feed them as a thank you, then sure.
But don't call it a party.[/quote]
Or rather, call it what it actually is: a working party. And
yes, only invite people if you are sure you would offer to pitch
in and do similar work for them.
[quote]Nesting is instinctual.[/quote]
Yes, but only for the parents-to-be. Show me a species of bird
in which any other individuals help with the nest! In fact, if
anybody invited me to a ‘nesting party’ (highly unlikely), I’d
be tempted to reply ‘Only if I can come as a cuckoo!’
#Post#: 80773--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: lowspark Date: January 4, 2024, 10:27 am
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The way I see it, it's not a "party" of any kind.
Party is defined as "a social gathering of invited guests,
typically involving eating, drinking, and entertainment".
When you ask people to come do work in your house, that's a
request for a favor. Not a party.
To me, a "working party" would be something like asking friends
over to help put together party favors for your wedding, or some
other not-too-onerous task. Something that folks could sit
around a table with a plate of snacks and a glass of wine and
get the whole thing accomplished in a relaxed atmosphere in a
couple of hours at the most.
If it's going to take any physical labor or sweat, it's not a
party.
#Post#: 80775--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: Aleko Date: January 4, 2024, 12:05 pm
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[quote]Party is defined as "a social gathering of invited
guests, typically involving eating, drinking, and
entertainment".[/quote]
That's only one of the many meanings of the word. Never heard of
political parties, injured parties, stout parties, etc?
The compound noun working party is first recorded in the
mid-18th century military, meaning a detachment of soldiers
assigned to a specific task of physical labour (as opposed to
fighting, parading or sentry duty); this sense is still 100% in
everyday use in the military, and by anybody who has ever been
in the military. (By the 1820s it was in use to describe
convicts engaged in outdoor manual work, often in chain-gangs.)
You may associate the phrase only with sedate gatherings for
quilting, knitting or suchlike; but there are plenty of people
to whom it does indeed precisely imply physical labour and
sweat!
#Post#: 80776--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: Hmmm Date: January 4, 2024, 12:50 pm
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I'm the outlier here. I wouldn't be bothered by this invitation
at all other than the fact of how many people were invited. Even
if only half show up, that is still a lot of people working in a
house. I'd actually prefer this over a traditional baby shower.
Back in my 20's, we attended many painting parties and moving
parties where everyone would chip in to do some work (some more
than others) and then we'd have serve pizza and drinks or other.
Even today, we host a tamalada which is way more time and work
than washing or folding some clothes and I have to restrict the
number of people wanting to come because it can get way out of
hand. They are making it known that there is work to be done
just like was done when we were invited to painting parties.
I'd much rather spend time visiting as we work on a project than
playing games. But I'm also the type that prefers a gift of
service or time over a gift of things.
#Post#: 80777--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: lowspark Date: January 4, 2024, 1:43 pm
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=2579.msg80775#msg80775
date=1704391539]
[quote]Party is defined as "a social gathering of invited
guests, typically involving eating, drinking, and
entertainment".[/quote]
That's only one of the many meanings of the word. Never heard of
political parties, injured parties, stout parties, etc?
The compound noun working party is first recorded in the
mid-18th century military, meaning a detachment of soldiers
assigned to a specific task of physical labour (as opposed to
fighting, parading or sentry duty); this sense is still 100% in
everyday use in the military, and by anybody who has ever been
in the military. (By the 1820s it was in use to describe
convicts engaged in outdoor manual work, often in chain-gangs.)
You may associate the phrase only with sedate gatherings for
quilting, knitting or suchlike; but there are plenty of people
to whom it does indeed precisely imply physical labour and
sweat!
[/quote]
Wow! Ok!
I will just say that came across as a bit contentious - did you
mean it that way?
Of course I've heard of political parties, etc. But the context
of this discussion is specifically about social gathering kind
of parties. So if we are going to talk about a working party in
the sense that you stated above, that's a whole different
definition of the word. Although it's the same word, I don't see
the meanings as being interchangeable.
From that same dictionary, I quote all the meanings which are
nouns:
[quote]noun: party; plural noun: parties
1. a social gathering of invited guests, typically involving
eating, drinking, and entertainment.
"an engagement party"
2. a formally constituted political group, typically operating
on a national basis, that contests elections and attempts to
form or take part in a government.
"the party's election strategy"
a group of people taking part in a particular activity or
trip, especially one for which they have been chosen.
"the fishing party"
3. a person or people forming one side in an agreement or
dispute.
"a contract between two parties"
a person, especially one with specified characteristics.
"will you help the party on line 2?"[/quote]
The three different meanings are not interchangeable. If you're
talking about meaning 1, "a social gathering", you can't just
say that meaning 2, "a group of people" can be substituted in
the sentence, or vice versa.
So I don't see "working party" in the context of inviting
friends over to help you build your baby nursery as being the
same thing as "working party" in the context of a detachment of
soldiers assigned to a specific task of physical labor.
#Post#: 80778--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: lowspark Date: January 4, 2024, 1:46 pm
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2579.msg80776#msg80776
date=1704394241]
Even today, we host a tamalada which is way more time and work
than washing or folding some clothes and I have to restrict the
number of people wanting to come because it can get way out of
hand.
[/quote]
Ah! But do the attendees get to partake of the results, maybe
even take some home?
#Post#: 80781--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: Aleko Date: January 4, 2024, 2:21 pm
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[quote]So I don't see "working party" in the context of inviting
friends over to help you build your baby nursery as being the
same thing as "working party" in the context of a detachment of
soldiers assigned to a specific task of physical labor.[/quote]
But I do. I and just about any of my friends-and-relations would
say 'We're getting together a working party to clear out Gran's
garage / put up a fence / pick the gooseberries on Saturday, and
we'll have a barbecue after. Are you free?'
Maybe it's a transatlantic difference?
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