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#Post#: 80752--------------------------------------------------
Nesting Parties
By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 2, 2024, 2:47 pm
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I recently received a Facebook invitation to a nesting party. I
was a bit confused on what that was, but luckily the invitation
included an explanation. Basically, it replaces the baby shower
and instead of buying the couple gifts, you show-up on the
day/time and do chores. Putting together baby furniture. Washing
baby clothes. Baby proofing the home. I am not particularly
close to the couple (didn't even know that they were having
another child; have not even met their first kid who is over a
year old) and I was not interested performing someone else's
chore lists when mine is in need of desperate assistance, so I
just politely declined.
Then I bumped into an article about nesting parties. I think
that it is this one
(
HTML https://www.thebump.com/a/how-to-throw-a-nesting-party).
So I
guess that this is a thing now?
I'm trying to figure out how I feel about this. What's the
difference if I am expected to purchase a baby gift versus
gifting my time and energy? However, a baby shower is an actual
party sometimes with games and fun (although we have discussed
their pitfalls here.) It's hard for me to tell, but it seems
that nesting parties are focused on all genders where baby
showers have traditionally been for the women only. And while we
know it's rather tacky to have a baby shower for the second
child; do you think that rule should apply to nesting parties,
too?
I'm just opening the forum for discussion and thoughts.
#Post#: 80754--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: sandisadie Date: January 2, 2024, 5:52 pm
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IMO it's not a "party" if everyone is only there to do work. I
wonder why it's called "nesting"?
#Post#: 80755--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: Lula Date: January 2, 2024, 6:06 pm
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Man, how just many new-baby parties is the average mom having
these days?
#Post#: 80756--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 2, 2024, 6:24 pm
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[quote author=sandisadie link=topic=2579.msg80754#msg80754
date=1704239570]
IMO it's not a "party" if everyone is only there to do work. I
wonder why it's called "nesting"?
[/quote]
The description sent to me by friend did not feel very party
like at all. Although, I suspect that food, drink, and
socialization will be part of it.
I am guessing that nesting is the like when birds build nests
for their soon-to-be baby birds. But I really know nothing about
the concept.
[quote author=sandisadie link=topic=2579.msg80754#msg80754
date=1704239570]
IMO it's not a "party" if everyone is only there to do work. I
wonder why it's called "nesting"?
[/quote]
For what it's worth, I don't recall if this friend had any sort
of baby party with the first one. (I feel like they have had a
"meet the baby" sort of gathering, though.) And thus far, I have
not been invited to a shower or sprinkle or any other cutely
named gift giving party for the second baby. Either way, I have
to wonder how much "nesting" one really needs to do with a
second baby. Baby #1 is probably a year and a half, so I would
think the nursery would need very little adjustment and the
house should be currently baby proof as toddlers need more
proofing than infants. It feels a bit like "why do you need a
baby shower for a second child when you already have most of the
items that you would need".
#Post#: 80757--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: Rose Red Date: January 2, 2024, 6:41 pm
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No thanks. I don't think it's nice to throw a "party" to do
chores. If you need help, just ask. I'm sure close friends and
family are glad to help. Just don't pretend it's a party.
Parties are supposed to be fun, not free labor (no pun
intended).
I feel the same way about painting "parties" or moving
"parties." I have more respect if they call it what it is;
work/a favor.
#Post#: 80758--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: Rho Date: January 2, 2024, 10:12 pm
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Eww---if this is a second child the clothes should have been
packed up already washed. My husband wouldn't trust anyone else
to properly put together new furniture.
If invited I would agonize if I should bring a gift too.
"I was not interested performing someone else's chore lists when
mine is in need of desperate assistance,"<---------I agree
#Post#: 80759--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: NewHomeowner Date: January 3, 2024, 8:52 am
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[quote author=sandisadie link=topic=2579.msg80754#msg80754
date=1704239570]
IMO it's not a "party" if everyone is only there to do work. I
wonder why it's called "nesting"?
[/quote]
Nesting is what a new mother does while preparing for her new
baby. My sister went through this when she was pregnant.
HOWEVER, she was high risk, so she spent most of her 'nesting'
time in the hospital, trying to not lose the babies (twins).
Her mother-in-law and friends came over and set up the nursery
and got the stuff ready for her. They called it 'nesting', and
I'd never heard of it before. It was kind of cute, though.
Very useful. I love the idea.
#Post#: 80762--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: oogyda Date: January 3, 2024, 10:35 am
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"Nesting" as it applies to pregnancy is an INSTINCT to prepare
the "nest" or home for the newborn.
Most women experience it, but to varying degrees. This sounds
like a veiled request for people to come do work you don't want
to.
#Post#: 80763--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: lowspark Date: January 3, 2024, 2:31 pm
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Not lovin this.
If you need help setting up the nursery or whatever, and you
want to ask over a couple of friends or close family, and offer
to feed them as a thank you, then sure.
But don't call it a party.
And don't ask just anyone. Ask people who are either close, or
who have some specific talent or skill that you desperately
need. And ask it as a favor, not an invitation.
I, too, would politely decline, unless it was my son or someone
else very close to me.
#Post#: 80764--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nesting Parties
By: jpcher Date: January 3, 2024, 5:11 pm
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Oh. My. I'm in agreement with previous posters. Although the
article did say to keep the guest list to a minimum (suggested
6) of close family and friends I can see this getting carried
away as is evident with DaDancingPsych comment:
"I am not particularly close to the couple (didn't even know
that they were having another child; have not even met their
first kid who is over a year old)"
DDP -- do you have any idea as to how many people were invited?
[quote author=lowspark link=topic=2579.msg80763#msg80763
date=1704313864]
If you need help setting up the nursery or whatever, and you
want to ask over a couple of friends or close family, and offer
to feed them as a thank you, then sure.
But don't call it a party.
And don't ask just anyone. Ask people who are either close, or
who have some specific talent or skill that you desperately
need. And ask it as a favor, not an invitation.
I, too, would politely decline, unless it was my son or someone
else very close to me.
[/quote]
Completely agree with the above.
[quote author=oogyda link=topic=2579.msg80762#msg80762
date=1704299730]
"Nesting" as it applies to pregnancy is an INSTINCT to prepare
the "nest" or home for the newborn.
Most women experience it, but to varying degrees. This sounds
like a veiled request for people to come do work you don't want
to.
[/quote]
In the last month or so of my pregnancy with DD#1 I started, not
only setting up the nursery, etc., but preparing foods to freeze
for easy meals, stocking up on non-perishable groceries, giving
my house a deep clean and all that. I kinda surprised myself
with everything that I was doing but felt the strong need to
take care of these things before the baby came.
I commented about this to a friend of mine. She said "You're
nesting!"
I never heard of that term before.
Same thing happened with DD#2.
oogyda is right. Nesting is instinctual.
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