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#Post#: 80359--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: Rose Red Date: October 27, 2023, 10:18 am
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Well, I think it would be a fun group activity, but I understand
if you don't want to do it when it involves leaving a friend off
the list. Especially since you're paying and you don't know if
the money will get wasted [s]if[/s] when she's late.
What I have learned when it involves people who are predictably
late all the time:
Don't invite them to anything that you're paying for.
If everyone pays for themselves, get money ahead of time or they
don't go (or they can arrange their own tickets).
Start on time and latecomers can join when they show up. They
can miss half the show, eat leftovers, etc.
Give everyone their tickets so each person is responsible for
getting in the door of the venue/airplane/train/etc. The group
won't have to wait for the late person holding the tickets, nor
will the group need to wait until a late person finally show up
to hand over their ticket.
Have your own transportation plans so you're not at their mercy.
Give them a grace period (maybe 10-15 minutes) and then do your
own thing or leave.
#Post#: 80360--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: holly firestorm Date: October 27, 2023, 10:39 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=2559.msg80343#msg80343
date=1698309357]
I’m with Rho. If you want to do this thing just go ahead, but
explain in the invitation that the location’s official policy is
to charge a fee if you go over time, which means that anyone who
doesn’t arrive on time won’t be able to do a project and can
only watch as the others do theirs, and won’t get their money
back (presumably the location will allow latecomers in on that
understanding?). You can make the management the Big Bad; they
won’t mind! In fact, you might want to tip them off that if you
have a latecomer you want to have her let in but absolutely not
to participate. Get them on board with this, so there are no
wrangles when she turns up as usual “30-45 minutes late”.
Very few people are truly time-blind; they just think being late
doesn’t really matter, and people will always make allowances
just for little old them. And the range of hoops you have
suggested you might be willing to jump through to accommodate
her carelessness bears out that they are often right! If you
think this pottery evening will be enjoyable, go for it; and let
your friend decide whether she’s prepared to make the effort to
be on time for once, or alternatively is willing to sit and
watch the rest of the girls potting.
Another point: If she does pitch up half an hour late and is
told ‘ok, you can come in, but no you can’t do a project’, is
she the sort of person who would stamp her little foot and say
‘In that case I’m not coming in and I want my money back’? You
need to know the location’s cancellation policy on
no-shows/on-the-day cancellations and make sure the group is
aware of it as well.
Edited to add:
[quote]If you were having this event would you:
Give her a start time 30-45 minutes before the actual
time?[/quote]
Of all these options, I think this is the worst. Like Jpcher and
Jpcher's fellow workers*, you'd only be training her to believe
that the stated start/end time of anything is really just fluff,
and that she can be massively later than that without missing
out on anything. (Indeed, that she positively ought to, because
who wants to rush to make a stated time and then simply have to
hang about and wait?)
*
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com/the-work-day/how-do-you-deal-with-upper-management/
[/quote]
I agree except for this line. I'm one of those people who
struggles with time management. I think it will take me 1 hour
to get ready. Time slips away and it takes more. Or it's always
taken 1 hour to get someplace, but this time it took 1 1/2. I
struggle with it and try to leave myself extra time because it
DOES matter. I've gotten to the point that sometimes I'm
actually one of the early arrivers. But, if you want me to meet
you before noon...all bets are off. On the other hand, I tell
people that in advance. So, they don't feel obliged to include
me in anything that starts 8AM.
#Post#: 80369--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: NFPwife Date: October 28, 2023, 10:46 pm
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[quote author=holly firestorm link=topic=2559.msg80360#msg80360]
... I'm one of those people who struggles with time management.
I think it will take me 1 hour to get ready. Time slips away and
it takes more. Or it's always taken 1 hour to get someplace, but
this time it took 1 1/2. I struggle with it and try to leave
myself extra time because it DOES matter. I've gotten to the
point that sometimes I'm actually one of the early arrivers.
But, if you want me to meet you before noon...all bets are off.
On the other hand, I tell people that in advance. So, they don't
feel obliged to include me in anything that starts 8AM.
[/quote]
Holly firestorm, my friend is similar. I tell her she functions
on "perfect time." If she traveled somewhere, one time, and it
took 45 minutes she will always use 45 minutes as the commute.
Never factoring time of day, weather, traffic patterns, etc.
[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=2559.msg80359#msg80359
date=1698419888]
Well, I think it would be a fun group activity, but I understand
if you don't want to do it when it involves leaving a friend off
the list. Especially since you're paying and you don't know if
the money will get wasted [s]if[/s] when she's late.
What I have learned when it involves people who are predictably
late all the time:
Don't invite them to anything that you're paying for.
If everyone pays for themselves, get money ahead of time or they
don't go (or they can arrange their own tickets).
Start on time and latecomers can join when they show up. They
can miss half the show, eat leftovers, etc.
Give everyone their tickets so each person is responsible for
getting in the door of the venue/airplane/train/etc. The group
won't have to wait for the late person holding the tickets, nor
will the group need to wait until a late person finally show up
to hand over their ticket.
Have your own transportation plans so you're not at their mercy.
Give them a grace period (maybe 10-15 minutes) and then do your
own thing or leave.
[/quote]
Rose Red, these are great strategies, we've adopted some over
the years, but you really take it up a notch. I'm hanging onto
those.
The final solution is we'll do a drop in event at another
studio. It's not a private and we won't be able to take food and
wine, but we'll be able to visit and create and there's no time
constraint because completed projects get picked up later.
#Post#: 80374--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: jpcher Date: October 29, 2023, 1:12 pm
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I like your solution, it's a perfect way to still hold your
event without the hassle of a late-comer.
#Post#: 80382--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: DaDancingPsych Date: October 30, 2023, 8:35 am
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Lots of great advice!
Personally, I would be doing a lot of thinking before sending
invitations with this one. People who are always late are acting
in a selfish way. They have no respect for how this affects
others... this time it would be a financial obligation. I might
choose not to invite this person for this very reason.
However, I agree that including the punctuality information in
the invitation is wise.
I also wonder if the establishment would be willing to assist
with this, too? If you explained that you were not interested in
paying the additional fee and that anyone arriving late should
not be allowed to participate if they could assist with
explaining this. "I'm sorry, but the group has already started
so we will not be able to include you in the project." You would
still be out the money that you did pay for her, but at least
nothing additional.
#Post#: 80494--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: LifeOnPluto Date: November 15, 2023, 5:59 am
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How reasonable is your friend? If she was late, and you were to
incur a $50 late fee, would she be the type of person willing to
reimburse you?
If so, I say go ahead with the girls' night, but make to 100%
clear to her that YOU will be the one slugged a late fee, and
you will be seeking reimbursement for any latecomers.
If she's the sort of person who'd make excuses and refuse to
reimburse you the $50, I'd be inclined to invite a smaller group
to do the pottery - and not include her!
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