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#Post#: 80341--------------------------------------------------
Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: NFPwife Date: October 25, 2023, 11:09 pm
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I'm considering a girls' night out at a pottery location.
There's a flat fee for the party that includes a make and take
project.
The studio has a lot of guidelines and they are quite clear on
how they feel about late arrivals - they don't want them. If a
late arrival causes the party to go over time, the host is
charged $50. I think everyone needs to start on time so the
items can be fired together.
I have a friend who I describe as "time blind." I cannot think
of a time she arrived punctually. Sometimes she calls as she's
pulling into the parking garage three blocks away at the time we
were supposed to meet for dinner. (I think she thinks this is on
time. )
Other times she's up to an hour late. 30-45 minutes late is
typical.
If you were having this event would you:
Give her a start time 30-45 minutes before the actual time?
Plan to meet her for coffee before the event knowing she'll miss
coffee but be on time for the event?
Explain the importance of starting on time and how it impacts
everyone and hope for the best?
Maybe add that she's paying the fee if the party goes over
because of her?
Or... don't do this and find another event for GNO?
My husband voted "Don't do it and find something else." I'd
rather not and am interested in your thoughts and similar
experiences.
#Post#: 80342--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: Rho Date: October 25, 2023, 11:22 pm
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Only those who are there at the start time will allowed to make
a project. Put this in the invitation/announcement. Latecomers
can stay and chat.
#Post#: 80343--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: Aleko Date: October 26, 2023, 3:35 am
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I’m with Rho. If you want to do this thing just go ahead,
but explain in the invitation that the location’s official
policy is to charge a fee if you go over time, which means that
anyone who doesn’t arrive on time won’t be able to
do a project and can only watch as the others do theirs, and
won’t get their money back (presumably the location will
allow latecomers in on that understanding?). You can make the
management the Big Bad; they won’t mind! In fact, you
might want to tip them off that if you have a latecomer you want
to have her let in but absolutely not to participate. Get them
on board with this, so there are no wrangles when she turns up
as usual “30-45 minutes late”.
Very few people are truly time-blind; they just think being late
doesn’t really matter, and people will always make
allowances just for little old them. And the range of hoops you
have suggested you might be willing to jump through to
accommodate her carelessness bears out that they are often
right! If you think this pottery evening will be enjoyable, go
for it; and let your friend decide whether she’s prepared
to make the effort to be on time for once, or alternatively is
willing to sit and watch the rest of the girls potting.
Another point: If she does pitch up half an hour late and is
told ‘ok, you can come in, but no you can’t do a
project’, is she the sort of person who would stamp her
little foot and say ‘In that case I’m not coming in
and I want my money back’? You need to know the
location’s cancellation policy on no-shows/on-the-day
cancellations and make sure the group is aware of it as well.
Edited to add:
[quote]If you were having this event would you:
Give her a start time 30-45 minutes before the actual
time?[/quote]
Of all these options, I think this is the worst. Like Jpcher and
Jpcher's fellow workers*, you'd only be training her to believe
that the stated start/end time of anything is really just fluff,
and that she can be massively later than that without missing
out on anything. (Indeed, that she positively ought to, because
who wants to rush to make a stated time and then simply have to
hang about and wait?)
*
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#Post#: 80345--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: sandisadie Date: October 26, 2023, 11:18 am
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I'm with Rho and Aleko. Why allow anyone to cause you to change
an activity that will probably be enjoyable for everyone
attending, for the reason that they will probably be late and
might demand their money back? Maybe if your friend missed more
events because of her behavior she will change her ways for the
better.
#Post#: 80346--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: Rose Red Date: October 26, 2023, 11:58 am
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Do you need to make payment ahead of time? Is the flat fee per
group or per person? I assume you're paying since you're the
host?
Either way, let her (and all the guests) know in writing that
while you are happy to pay for the session, that a $50 late fee
is the responsibility of any latecomers. Or like posted above,
don't let latecomers participate and they can just watch.
I wouldn't fudge the time. Maybe I'm becoming an old fogie but I
don't have the time or patience to play those games anymore;
it's too stressful. Give them the facts and let the chips fall
where it may. Get on with life (class, lunch, vacation, movie,
etc.) without their lateness affecting the rest of the group.
#Post#: 80347--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: Lkdrymom Date: October 26, 2023, 2:19 pm
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I love that...Time Blind. My former best friend was like that.
Sometimes you just have to leave without her. I would just
level with her. The event starts at 6, not 6:15, not
6:30...SIX! If she is late, she will not be able to participate
and she will not get a refund. Then ask her again if she thinks
she could manage to be there on time. Does she really need to
be invited to this? She may have to be the type of person that
does not get invited to time sensitive events.
#Post#: 80350--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: lowspark Date: October 26, 2023, 4:07 pm
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Another vote for just not letting her do the project if she
comes late.
Warn everyone in advance.
By "flat fee" does that mean per person or per party? Do you owe
this money in advance?
If so, then you collect the money in advance. And you send out
explicit information that anyone arriving late will not be able
to do the project and will not be refunded.
I had a friend at one time who was chronically late like that.
Well, let me qualify that. She was chronically late to social
events. We had a Girls' Night Out group and it got to be pretty
bad as we, collectively, were late to some things because of her
and it was embarrassing at best and incredibly rude.
However! She had a business for which it was critical that she
be on time. She ran private carpool which ferried kids to and
from school. No way she could be late to that - she'd be out of
business!
So in fact, it wasn't that she COULDN'T be on time, it was that
she CHOSE not to. She was communicating to us that her time was
worth more than ours. Finally we had enough and just decided
we'd never wait for her again. We let her know what time the
event began, what time to be at the restaurant, what time to
meet at someone's house, etc. If she was there on time, great!
If not we just started/ordered/left without her. After a couple
of times she caught on.
#Post#: 80351--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: pierrotlunaire0 Date: October 26, 2023, 6:25 pm
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I like the idea of warning everyone that latecomers will not be
able to participate and will not receive a refund. I do not like
the idea about lying about the start time. Come on, you are all
adults here. She needs to live with the consequences of her
choices instead of making you contort yourself into tricking
her.
#Post#: 80353--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: NFPwife Date: October 26, 2023, 7:43 pm
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Thank you all for the comments, it's expanded my thinking on
this.
To answer some questions on the money. I was going to host and
pay the per person price for the party. A deposit of 50% is
required upfront and then I'd just pay the rest that night.
Since the studio has the host's credit card from the deposit,
that's the card that's charged if the party goes over. If the
party were to go over because friend is late, I would absolutely
Venmo request the amount from her because I would have spelled
that out ahead of time. I'd be more annoyed that everyone would
have to wait for their item because the kiln would start late.
Everyone would be held up by whatever time she was late. Having
her not make the project would, technically, be cheaper (you're
charged for the party's minimum) and I think she'd handle it
okay.
(One other thought was to make it a couples' night because her
husband can get her out the door on time. I jokingly call him a
Blue Heeler; he follows her around and herds her to the door.)
This discussion made me really think about why I wanted to do
this particular event and my goal in doing a make and take
ceramics class was to have a fun evening together, but I also
was hoping to paint a mug to replace one I broke a couple months
ago. I think it makes the most sense to untangle the objectives
and for me to find a local studio where I can go in and paint a
mug, maybe with a friend or two, and host a separate girls'
night out.
I agree with everyone who said not to fudge the time, I've never
done it, but I was so tempted this time. I have used the "Let's
meet for coffee or dinner before (event)" with a modicum of
success.
Thanks again!
#Post#: 80357--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late party guests and potential fees. What would you do?
By: lowspark Date: October 27, 2023, 7:18 am
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[quote author=PVZFan link=topic=2559.msg80353#msg80353
date=1698367424]
I'd be more annoyed that everyone would have to wait for their
item because the kiln would start late. Everyone would be held
up by whatever time she was late.
[/quote]
I know you've decided to go a different route, but just for
future events, as this is bound to come up again, the above
statement is where you need to make the change.
Do not start the kiln late (or whatever happens to be the
situation in the future).
If she arrives late, go on with the schedule as planned. She
either puts her project in uncompleted, or she doesn't get to do
the kiln and can make arrangements on her own with the facility
if she wants to.
The lesson we learned was:
No one else needs to suffer in any way because of one person's
tardiness.
I've just had too many issues with people being late and ruining
things for everyone else. There's only one person who should pay
the price for being late, and that is the person who is late.
Regardless of if it's chronic or one off. Regardless of if it
was unavoidable or their lack of planning. It just doesn't
matter.
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