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#Post#: 80139--------------------------------------------------
All she wanted was a hamburger!
By: LifeOnPluto Date: October 2, 2023, 1:56 am
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This post is about my 75 year old mum.
Normally, my mother is a sensible eater - lots of healthy food,
'junk food' only on special occasions. Last year, my mum and her
friend (also mid-70s) went to a carnival event held yearly in
their city. The queues for the food vans were rather long, and
they had to line up for at least 20 minutes or so. My mum
splurged on a hamburger and hot chips, and reckoned they were
delicious!
This year, my mum and her friend attended the same event again.
My mum was looking forward to some carnival food - in
particular, another hamburger and hot chips, just like last
year. However, when lunch time came, her friend said words to
the effect of: "Good news - we don't have to waste time queueing
up for food this year! I came prepared and fixed us lunch from
home!"
From her large handbag, her friend pulled out two home-made
salad rolls. Which is pretty much what my mum eats for lunch
most days of the year.
My mum didn't know how to reject the food without sounding
ungrateful and hurting her friend's feelings. (I've also known
her friend for many decades myself, and she absolutely is the
sort of lady who'd be rather hurt if someone rejected food that
she'd lovingly made for them - especially if it was in favour of
'junk food'). So my mum ate the salad roll... and of course, was
too full afterwards to want any carnival food.
My mum didn't say anything at the time, but afterwards confided
to me that she felt 'put on the spot' by her friend - and not to
mention, she was quite grumpy at missing out on the hamburger! I
can't blame her too much, because I would have probably done
exactly the same thing - eaten the salad roll, because I care
about my friend's feelings, but been privately annoyed
afterwards about not getting to eat carnival food.
What would you guys have done? Was there any polite way my mum
could have rejected the salad roll without coming across as a
bit of a jerk. Is it wrong to prioritise junk food over a
friend's feelings?
#Post#: 80142--------------------------------------------------
Re: All she wanted was a hamburger!
By: vintagegal Date: October 2, 2023, 8:00 am
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"Can I take this home for dinner? I was REALLY looking forward
to my carnival food."
#Post#: 80145--------------------------------------------------
Re: All she wanted was a hamburger!
By: ti_ax Date: October 2, 2023, 11:14 am
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"Oops! Oh my, dear friend, I seem to have accidently dropped
your delicious salad roll in this mud puddle. I guess I'll have
to queue up for a hamburger."
#Post#: 80149--------------------------------------------------
Re: All she wanted was a hamburger!
By: Asharah Date: October 2, 2023, 1:13 pm
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Sorry friend, I want a hamburger. [emoji488][emoji489]
#Post#: 80152--------------------------------------------------
Re: All she wanted was a hamburger!
By: Rose Red Date: October 2, 2023, 4:58 pm
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"Thank you but I've been looking forward to my yearly hamburger
and chips. So I'm getting a burger/chips to go along with the
salad roll. Would you like one too?"
I googled "salad rolls" and "Vietnamese spring rolls" come up
(as we call them in the US). Is that the dish you're talking
about? Unless they're huge, I think they will be refreshing to
eat with burgers and chips, but I know some people have smaller
appetites and can't eat both.
#Post#: 80154--------------------------------------------------
Re: All she wanted was a hamburger!
By: Rho Date: October 2, 2023, 9:16 pm
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Your Mum is a very good friend. Who eats food that was stored
in someone elses handbag? yuk
If the hamburger and chips were from a food truck perhaps the
truck is in Mums town year round and she can go herself to
splurge?
#Post#: 80160--------------------------------------------------
Re: All she wanted was a hamburger!
By: LifeOnPluto Date: October 3, 2023, 5:29 am
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[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=2548.msg80152#msg80152
date=1696283923]
"Thank you but I've been looking forward to my yearly hamburger
and chips. So I'm getting a burger/chips to go along with the
salad roll. Would you like one too?"
I googled "salad rolls" and "Vietnamese spring rolls" come up
(as we call them in the US). Is that the dish you're talking
about? Unless they're huge, I think they will be refreshing to
eat with burgers and chips, but I know some people have smaller
appetites and can't eat both.
[/quote]
No, these were just white-bread rolls that you can buy from
supermarkets or bakeries, filled with some chopped up salad
ingredients (lettuce, tomato, red onion, and the like).
Not sure about the USA, but here in Australia, Vietnamese spring
rolls are a completely different thing to salad rolls - they are
made with thin rice paper rolls, and shaped like little cigars.
[quote author=Rho link=topic=2548.msg80154#msg80154
date=1696299394]
Your Mum is a very good friend. Who eats food that was stored
in someone elses handbag? yuk
[/quote]
Ha - according to my Mum they were wrapped up in clingwrap. But
yes, they had spent several hours in her friend's handbag
unrefrigerated! Luckily it was a fairly mild day!
#Post#: 80161--------------------------------------------------
Re: All she wanted was a hamburger!
By: Aleko Date: October 3, 2023, 7:30 am
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[quote]these were just white-bread rolls that you can buy from
supermarkets or bakeries, filled with some chopped up salad
ingredients (lettuce, tomato, red onion, and the like). [/quote]
[quote]they were wrapped up in clingwrap. But yes, they had
spent several hours in her friend's handbag unrefrigerated!
Luckily it was a fairly mild day! [/quote]
Mild or no, and even though none of those ingredients is likely
to cook up botulism at handbag temperature, chopped salad in
white bread that has been sweating inside clingfilm for hours
isn't going to be anybody's idea of a treat, how lovingly it may
have been prepared first thing that morning. (TBH, chopped salad
on its own is a pretty meh filling for a roll or sandwich even
when freshly prepared, since you can't very well put dressing on
it or the bread goes soggy.)
Your mother's sacrifice of her own interests for the sake of her
friend's feelings is heroic; but I do think it was mistaken.
(It's not as though the friend had bought some expensive item or
gone to any special trouble: as you say, it was just the kind of
thing either of them might throw together for an everyday snack
lunch at home, costing next to nothing.) I would simply have
said, 'Oh, Mabel, it's sweet of you to , but this is the one day
in the year that I eat hamburger-and-hot-chips from a food
truck, and I've been looking forward to having it again ever
since this time last year! It's part of the carnival experience
for me!'
Apart from anything else, if they go to the carnival together
next year, your mum is now faced with either resigning herself
to accepting a limp dreary salad roll again, or coming clean
about how much she didn't enjoy being provided with one this
year. That revelation would probably upset the friend much more
than simply having had her roll declined at the time would have
done.
#Post#: 80162--------------------------------------------------
Re: All she wanted was a hamburger!
By: TootsNYC Date: October 3, 2023, 9:45 am
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[quote author=Rho link=topic=2548.msg80154#msg80154
date=1696299394]
Your Mum is a very good friend. Who eats food that was stored
in someone elses handbag? yuk
[/quote]
I'd presume they were in plastic or foil wrap. I suppose there
might be a refrigeration issue, but probably not a big one.
#Post#: 80164--------------------------------------------------
Re: All she wanted was a hamburger!
By: DaDancingPsych Date: October 3, 2023, 12:23 pm
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[quote author=LifeOnPluto link=topic=2548.msg80139#msg80139
date=1696229798]
(I've also known her friend for many decades myself, and she
absolutely is the sort of lady who'd be rather hurt if someone
rejected food that she'd lovingly made for them - especially if
it was in favour of 'junk food').
[/quote]
To me, this right here makes it sound like your mum is
requesting the impossible. It sounds like this friend doesn't
take well to someone declining her food, even if done politely.
If I am following correctly, then despite the many good
suggestions provided here, this friend will probably feel
rejected. However, that really is on the friend and not your
mum. You can't change the plans (even if unspoken or assumed)
and expect the other person to go along with it. The best that
your mum could have done would have been to show appreciation of
the thoughtfulness and be kind with her decline. I do like the
idea of suggesting that you will eat the salad roll (I, too, had
never heard of it) for dinner... even if I ended up tossing it
later.
It's wrong to say, "My doctor says I need to eat more
hamburgers", right? But if I ever find that doctor, I am
seriously using that excuse!!!
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