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#Post#: 80050--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend always wants me to pick the venue for our catch-ups
By: DaDancingPsych Date: September 18, 2023, 10:07 am
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I also like the idea of establishing one (or several) regular
places to meet. If a park, a mall, or a laser tag joint meet the
needs of the meet-up, then awesome! I think have some "no
brainer" meeting spots takes the stress out of the interaction
and will prevent making the friendship more work for you.
I might try something like, "Oh, it's your turn to choose". Any
resistance from her end would be countered with "It's your turn"
and then I would simply drop the ball. Even if that means the
meet-up falls through the cracks. In order to make that work, I
do think that you would need to step up when it is indeed your
turn and make the selection. If she sends a text afterwards,
then my reply would be "I suppose it's good that next time will
be your turn to choose."
#Post#: 80053--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend always wants me to pick the venue for our catch-ups
By: lowspark Date: September 18, 2023, 1:44 pm
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Another in agreement here!
Whatever place has worked in the past, just keep going there. If
more than one place has worked, then just do a rotation of
those.
And if she ever says she wants something new, even if she throws
in the "Happy for you to pick!" ploy, you just stick with those.
"If you are happy for me to pick, this is what I'm picking. If
that doesn't work for you, then, I'm happy for you to
pick![sup]®[/sup]!"
"I'm happy for you to pick![sup]®[/sup]!" can go both ways.
#Post#: 80054--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend always wants me to pick the venue for our catch-ups
By: Hmmm Date: September 18, 2023, 4:40 pm
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When you get the "happy for you to pick" respond back with
"Sorry, my week is just too hectic to do any research. I really
need you to find a place that works for you and is open when we
plan to meet. Just let me know time and place and I'll see you
Saturday."
I do agree you should pick a default or pick another activity.
Or crowd sources to a local foodie FB page. I'm always amazed in
my areas foodie FB groups when I see someone say 'I need a place
between far out suburb and in town neighborhood and that is
under 3 blocks from interstate, is open on midnight, allows
dogs, plays gypsy jazz and is both vegan and carnivore friendly"
and people come up with recommendations.
#Post#: 80059--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend always wants me to pick the venue for our catch-ups
By: DaDancingPsych Date: September 19, 2023, 2:08 pm
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2541.msg80054#msg80054
date=1695073242]
Or crowd sources to a local foodie FB page. I'm always amazed in
my areas foodie FB groups when I see someone say 'I need a place
between far out suburb and in town neighborhood and that is
under 3 blocks from interstate, is open on midnight, allows
dogs, plays gypsy jazz and is both vegan and carnivore friendly"
and people come up with recommendations.
[/quote]
OT: FYI, there is a movement to no longer refer to it as gypsy
jazz as certain groups find the term offensive. I'm not sure
that an updated name has been settled on, but I have heard this
music style referred to as Jazz Manouche, French Swing, or
Django Jazz. I certainly took no offense to your post, but in
the effort to promote good manners, I thought that you might
appreciate knowing that some people may take offense to the
term. That said, your sentiment is 100% accurate... those groups
are incredible at naming just the right joint for all of the
needs. It's rather impressive!!!
#Post#: 80067--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend always wants me to pick the venue for our catch-ups
By: TootsNYC Date: September 20, 2023, 12:07 pm
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[quote]"Sorry, my week is just too hectic to do any research. I
really need you to find a place that works for you and is open
when we plan to meet. Just let me know time and place and I'll
see you Saturday."
[/quote]
I like this because it points out that picking a place is WORK.
And i might add to it:
"Since I have to drive over to where you are, due to your
nervousness about driving, it's only fair for you to look around
or ask people you know, and find someplace we can go."
#Post#: 80070--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend always wants me to pick the venue for our catch-ups
By: Hmmm Date: September 21, 2023, 9:23 am
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[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=2541.msg80059#msg80059
date=1695150483]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2541.msg80054#msg80054
date=1695073242]
Or crowd sources to a local foodie FB page. I'm always amazed in
my areas foodie FB groups when I see someone say 'I need a place
between far out suburb and in town neighborhood and that is
under 3 blocks from interstate, is open on midnight, allows
dogs, plays gypsy jazz and is both vegan and carnivore friendly"
and people come up with recommendations.
[/quote]
OT: FYI, there is a movement to no longer refer to it as gypsy
jazz as certain groups find the term offensive. I'm not sure
that an updated name has been settled on, but I have heard this
music style referred to as Jazz Manouche, French Swing, or
Django Jazz. I certainly took no offense to your post, but in
the effort to promote good manners, I thought that you might
appreciate knowing that some people may take offense to the
term. That said, your sentiment is 100% accurate... those groups
are incredible at naming just the right joint for all of the
needs. It's rather impressive!!!
[/quote]
Thanks for the insight. The band we go listen to still uses the
term in their FB feed and description. So I'm assuming it is
seen as offensive by some and not others. Sort of like how
Hillbilly and Redneck are slurs that eventually became embraced
by those who identified as one or the other.
#Post#: 80074--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend always wants me to pick the venue for our catch-ups
By: oogyda Date: September 21, 2023, 2:55 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2541.msg80070#msg80070
date=1695306204]
[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=2541.msg80059#msg80059
date=1695150483]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2541.msg80054#msg80054
date=1695073242]
Or crowd sources to a local foodie FB page. I'm always amazed in
my areas foodie FB groups when I see someone say 'I need a place
between far out suburb and in town neighborhood and that is
under 3 blocks from interstate, is open on midnight, allows
dogs, plays gypsy jazz and is both vegan and carnivore friendly"
and people come up with recommendations.
[/quote]
OT: FYI, there is a movement to no longer refer to it as gypsy
jazz as certain groups find the term offensive. I'm not sure
that an updated name has been settled on, but I have heard this
music style referred to as Jazz Manouche, French Swing, or
Django Jazz. I certainly took no offense to your post, but in
the effort to promote good manners, I thought that you might
appreciate knowing that some people may take offense to the
term. That said, your sentiment is 100% accurate... those groups
are incredible at naming just the right joint for all of the
needs. It's rather impressive!!!
[/quote]
Thanks for the insight. The band we go listen to still uses the
term in their FB feed and description. So I'm assuming it is
seen as offensive by some and not others. Sort of like how
Hillbilly and Redneck are slurs that eventually became embraced
by those who identified as one or the other.
[/quote]
Perhaps it's one of those terms that you can use if you are one,
but is offensive when used by others.
#Post#: 80171--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend always wants me to pick the venue for our catch-ups
By: holly firestorm Date: October 3, 2023, 5:06 pm
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"Nah! I ALWAYS pick the place. YOU pick this time. Surprise me
with something nice!"
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