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#Post#: 79964--------------------------------------------------
Dealing with neighbor with no boundaries
By: malfoyfan13 Date: September 6, 2023, 4:10 pm
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Hi all. My friend just told me about a problem she has with a
neighbor and I said I would post it here and see if anyone has
any ideas.
My friend, J, said the neighbor (older lady) looks after some
young children and one day she came home to find the neighbor
and the children in J's yard doing some weeding. Neighbor had
not asked permission to do this. J has a drought tolerant type
landscape with mulch and some weeds had sprung up after a recent
rain. J has a gardener who normally takes care of the weeds. J
asked the neighbor not to do anything in her yard. So they left
and she thought that was that. She came home yesterday and they
were over in her yard again weeding. She again asked them to
leave and they did. She wants to send the neighbor an email
telling her to stay out of her yard. She showed me the email
draft and it was kind of harsh. I said, I'd only send that
email if I wanted no further contact with the neighbor, since it
was the scorched earth type of thing. She said she's not sure
if she wants to cut ties completely, just doesn't want this lady
in her yard pulling weeds. I asked if the neighbor might think
she's doing her a favor since J has a lot on her plate and maybe
just explain that it's nice if she was trying to help, but it's
not necessary.
So what would you do? It seems like something needs to be said
that will leave no wiggle room for the neighbor (who according
to J has no boundaries at all) to think it's OK to be doing yard
work on someone else's property. I don't have a lot of ideas
since I'm the type who either says too much or nothing.
#Post#: 79965--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with neighbor with no boundaries
By: betty Date: September 6, 2023, 4:36 pm
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Without reading the email, it's hard to determine if it is
harsh. It seems like the "weeding neighbor" needs to hear in
blunt language to stay out of your friend's yard. Something like
this:
Hi Neighbor,
I am reminding you again to keep the children out of my yard.
Please do not weed or enter my property for any other reason.
OPTIONAL ADDITIONS: "I truly prefer to deal with ALL yard work
on my own." AND/OR "I can not risk any liability by having
uninvited guests on my property."
Thank you for understanding.
#Post#: 79968--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with neighbor with no boundaries
By: sandisadie Date: September 6, 2023, 5:53 pm
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I wouldn't send an email to this neighbor. I'd walk over to her
house and have a little talk with her. Find out why she has
been in my yard weeding (or doing anything else, for that
matter). If she brings the children into the yard too then that
should be brought up. Then I'd inform her that I have someone
who does my weeding and whatever else needs to be done in the
yard and I don't want anyone else touching anything in my yard.
This can all be said in a pleasant voice and with a non
threatening manner.
If this doesn't stop the trespassing then perhaps I'd consider
erecting a temporary fence along that side of my yard.
I had a situation with my yard last year with new 2nd door
neighbors who let their children come into my yard and mess with
boulders and such. They were also ringing my doorbell and
running away. Stuff like that. I had a little talk with her
and also told her that I knew what her children were doing
because I had a ring camera system. I also planted some shrubs
on that side of my yard and erected a short temp. fence on the
outside of these. They finally stopped bothering me and my
yard.
#Post#: 79994--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with neighbor with no boundaries
By: Hmmm Date: September 11, 2023, 9:26 am
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I agree with Sandisadie that a in person discussion would be
best and I'd do it when the kids were not around.
#Post#: 80012--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with neighbor with no boundaries
By: katiekat2009 Date: September 13, 2023, 6:50 pm
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"If you don't mind, I'm not comfortable having people in my yard
when I am not home. It's a liability thing, you know."
#Post#: 80036--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with neighbor with no boundaries
By: Lkdrymom Date: September 16, 2023, 11:50 am
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I would have a chat with her as to why she thinks it is
acceptable for her to enter your yard and touch your property.
You can be nice at first but end the conversation clearly
stating that she is NEVER to enter your property ever again
unless invited to do so. Mentioning the liability could also
help. And that you find it extremely intrusive.
#Post#: 80046--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with neighbor with no boundaries
By: vintagegal Date: September 17, 2023, 7:10 am
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Since there are children involved, I would definitely get
something in writing, in case one of the kids gets hurt. You can
point to it and say, "I TOLD them to stay out of my yard."
#Post#: 80194--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with neighbor with no boundaries
By: holly firestorm Date: October 5, 2023, 11:46 pm
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I agree that since this is also a liability issue, something in
writing is best. But, for the first warning, I'd take a deep
breath and keep it 'nice.' If the problem persists, a more
assertive email may become appropriate.
My sister and I were raised outside New York City. She used to
have a saying, "Be nice first. If that doesn't work, give them a
little New York hell."
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