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       #Post#: 79928--------------------------------------------------
       Giving and gratitude
       By: vintagegal Date: August 26, 2023, 11:05 am
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       In discussions of gifts that don't get acknowledged or given
       thanks for, there are always some people who get upset, like
       "Well you only gave the gift to get the thanks, you should just
       be happy that you can give something." I think this video, which
       I stumbled across on Youtube, expresses it very well. The whole
       video is worth watching, but especially the part starting at
       6:43, where she says it's not about the giving or the gratitude,
       it's about the reciprocity, the connection, the relationship
       between the donor and the donee.
  HTML https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAnjfYYTXnA
       #Post#: 79929--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Giving and gratitude
       By: sandisadie Date: August 26, 2023, 1:58 pm
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       Thank you for putting this video out on this site.  I was in
       this kind of a relationship and it took me years to realize it
       for what it was.  I've never come across this book but if I had
       I would have probably thought it was a good child's book
       (without first reading it, of course).  I, too, was taught that
       the act of giving was, in itself, the reward.  Sometimes I've
       been in a position of being able to give help to someone without
       them knowing that.  But that is always a decision on my part, to
       not be outed and I don't expect to be thanked or acknowledged.
       However, if I give gifts, etc to someone and am not thanked, as
       I should be, then I just don't do that again.  It wasn't always
       that way, but it is now and I don't apologize for feeling this
       way at all.  Again, thank you.
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