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#Post#: 79802--------------------------------------------------
How do you get people to leave a gathering 'on time' . . .
By: jpcher Date: August 8, 2023, 5:43 pm
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. . . when they're obviously still having fun? How do you nudge
them out the door without being rude?
As a bit of a background memory -- I remember visiting relatives
as a child and my parents would tell us kids to put on our
coats, we were leaving now. Then we would have to wait (for what
seemed like hours!) for the adults to get their coats on, all
the while laughing, talking and still having a good time. Did
this ever happen to anyone else?
I felt like one of those children the other day (flashback!).
Waiting patiently for others to finish their conversation so
that we could get on the road. But I knew they were having fun
so I just stood by, waiting patiently.
DD#1 and her DH are in town for the week. We went to visit my
mother for the weekend (3+ hour drive). Prior to our visit we
discussed what time we were going to leave there. The choices
were leaving at X o'clock to avoid rush hour when we got back to
our location or staying a few hours later, getting home later
and avoiding rush hour. Both DD#1 and her DH opted to leave
earlier rather than later.
My sister and her DH were there as well. Everybody gets along,
good conversation, fun and all that. It was time to leave and
SIL asks a new question. Both Sis and BIL are knowledgeable
talkers. So, with every question comes a long winded (albeit
interesting) answer . . . the conversation could go on and on
and on.
I'm not begrudging the extra time spent with my wonderful
family, we don't get together all that often, but we did end up
spending and extra hour in stop-n-go rush hour traffic (which I
detest driving through.)
So, my question to you is: Is there a polite way to hurry up an
exit from a fun gathering without being rude? Or just bite the
bullet and wait until everybody else is ready to go, regardless
of the inconvenience?
#Post#: 79805--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do you get people to leave a gathering 'on time' . . .
By: oogyda Date: August 9, 2023, 6:28 am
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Speak up!
"I hate to interrupt, but if we're going to miss rush hour
traffic, we should leave now."
#Post#: 79806--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do you get people to leave a gathering 'on time' . . .
By: lowspark Date: August 9, 2023, 7:24 am
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If you're the one who's in charge of leaving, the one who's
driving, for example, they yes, by all means, you politely jump
into the conversation.
"This is such an interesting topic and I hate to cut it
short, but we have to get on the road now if we're going to beat
the traffic."
If you're not in charge, then you can nudge whoever is, but you
have accept their response.
"This is such an interesting topic and I hate to cut it
short, but do we want to go ahead and get on the road now to
beat the traffic?"
Lastly, if you are the host, IMO, there's really no polite way
to sort of nudge people out the door. You can remind them about
the traffic, or as I've seen some do, go ahead and start
cleaning up as a way to drop a hint, but I still find that a bit
off-putting if it's not your normal MO. Knowing this, it's
really incumbent upon the guests not to overstay their welcome.
Sometimes people want to linger because they are having a good
time. But quite often, it seems like no one wants to be the
first to leave so they are waiting for someone else to make that
move. I just had a conversation about this with a friend last
night! She was at a gathering and it was getting late, but she
hesitated leaving because, yeah, there it is, everyone was
having a good time and she didn't want to be the first to leave!
But she when she finally bit the bullet and got up to go, three
other people followed in rapid succession!
#Post#: 79807--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do you get people to leave a gathering 'on time' . . .
By: Hmmm Date: August 9, 2023, 8:54 am
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What Lowspark said.
In my life, I'm the itinerary maker, project manager, agenda
coordinator, meeting facilitator, and overall timekeeper.
As long as my interruption is said in a positive voice with a
smile, no one minds. It's when someone says it in a grumpy
voice/attitude that people feel they are being chastised and get
bothered by the interruption.
#Post#: 79808--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do you get people to leave a gathering 'on time' . . .
By: sandisadie Date: August 9, 2023, 10:00 am
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I agree with all of the above. I think every circumstance is
slightly different so you just have to play it by ear and keep
it light when insisting that it's time to leave, for whatever
reason. I sure do agree that if pushing to leave means that
you'll miss that rush hour - then, go for it!
#Post#: 79951--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do you get people to leave a gathering 'on time' . . .
By: NFPwife Date: August 30, 2023, 11:43 am
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I love these type of threads where someone pops in with the
exact phrase(s) to use. The scripts help so much.
#Post#: 80097--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do you get people to leave a gathering 'on time' . . .
By: holly firestorm Date: September 25, 2023, 7:12 pm
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[quote author=jpcher link=topic=2530.msg79802#msg79802
date=1691534632]
. . . when they're obviously still having fun? How do you nudge
them out the door without being rude?
As a bit of a background memory -- I remember visiting relatives
as a child and my parents would tell us kids to put on our
coats, we were leaving now. Then we would have to wait (for what
seemed like hours!) for the adults to get their coats on, all
the while laughing, talking and still having a good time. Did
this ever happen to anyone else?
I felt like one of those children the other day (flashback!).
Waiting patiently for others to finish their conversation so
that we could get on the road. But I knew they were having fun
so I just stood by, waiting patiently.
DD#1 and her DH are in town for the week. We went to visit my
mother for the weekend (3+ hour drive). Prior to our visit we
discussed what time we were going to leave there. The choices
were leaving at X o'clock to avoid rush hour when we got back to
our location or staying a few hours later, getting home later
and avoiding rush hour. Both DD#1 and her DH opted to leave
earlier rather than later.
My sister and her DH were there as well. Everybody gets along,
good conversation, fun and all that. It was time to leave and
SIL asks a new question. Both Sis and BIL are knowledgeable
talkers. So, with every question comes a long winded (albeit
interesting) answer . . . the conversation could go on and on
and on.
I'm not begrudging the extra time spent with my wonderful
family, we don't get together all that often, but we did end up
spending and extra hour in stop-n-go rush hour traffic (which I
detest driving through.)
So, my question to you is: Is there a polite way to hurry up an
exit from a fun gathering without being rude? Or just bite the
bullet and wait until everybody else is ready to go, regardless
of the inconvenience?
[/quote]
That used to happen to me all the time. Of course, if it was us
kids taking too much time, we were told to wrap it up in no
uncertain terms. So, once, when it was my Dad doing it, I told
him to wrap it up. Boy did I catch everlovin' hell!
#Post#: 80107--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do you get people to leave a gathering 'on time' . . .
By: TootsNYC Date: September 26, 2023, 9:15 am
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I remember once saying to my husband, "We have stayed too long,
these people are going to hate us, we need to leave!"
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