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#Post#: 79679--------------------------------------------------
Is This a Typical 7-1/2 Year Old?
By: sandisadie Date: July 16, 2023, 1:07 pm
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My great-granddaughter and her mother are visiting for a few
days. Haven't seen either of them in person since child was
about 3 yrs. old. My daughter and her husband and their son
also live here. Typical behavior is for the 7-1/2 yr. old to
sit in when the grownups are having a conversation. She will
suddenly, loudly throw out a question or make a statement not
related to what is being said. Everyone (but me) immediately
stop talking and listening and pay attention to what the child
says. The previous conversation is forgotten. Yesterday, when
this happened, for instance, I asked her mother what she had
said, because I had been listening to another adult speaking.
Her mother commented that "oh, she is just changing the
conversation. She does that all the time. She's only 7 you
know".
This child is an only and she is also home schooled. She had
made a few rude comments to her grandparents and to me - such
as, her grandfather asked her to repeat what she had said to him
and she just paused and then said in a snide voice, "oh, never
mind" and turned away from him. On another occasion she asked
me if she could get on my treadmill and I told her she couldn't
because it was a danger to children. She asked me why and I
began explaining and she cut across me and started speaking in a
loud voice about something else. I told her that she needed to
stop talking when she asked a question and wait for the answer.
With that her mother motioned to her and they both hurried into
the guest room. When we are at the dining table eating she will
drum on the table or dishes with the flatware; or make loud
noises such as screeching or singing. Her mother will ask her
to stop and she will. But usually finds some other way to get
the attention on herself.
I don't think this is normal behavior for her age, but maybe I'm
wrong. I raised three children; two of them beginning when I
was in my 60s. I don't remember these kinds of behaviors
happening routinely. Happily, they will be flying home
tomorrow. I don't believe any comments from me about this to
anyone in the family will happen but I'd welcome any comments
from members of this forum.
#Post#: 79680--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This a Typical 7-1/2 Year Old?
By: DaDancingPsych Date: July 16, 2023, 4:32 pm
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Normal? Maybe, from children who are not taught manners. It
sounds like the family has dropped the ball and not taught the
child some necessary social graces. Certainly every child (every
adult?) will from time to time do some attention seeking
behaviors. But this is sounding like they allow the child to
carry about in any way that she desires. I would say that if she
treats her peers like this that she is going to struggle with
friendships, but if she is home schooled, it's possible that she
doesn't interact with peers as much as school schooled children
(is there a name non-home schoolers?) Either way, I think most
well-mannered children tend to do less of these behaviors.
Also (because I don't mean to open any home school debate), most
of the home schooled children that I have seen tend to interact
more maturely with adults than other children. I don't know if
that's because they are around adults more or just something in
the education, but it's interesting that this child seems so put
off by adult conversation.
#Post#: 79681--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This a Typical 7-1/2 Year Old?
By: Rain Date: July 16, 2023, 7:36 pm
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Sounds like the parents dropped to ball/manners curriculum.
The only students I've seen behave that way are the ones whose
parents don't teach social skills.
#Post#: 79682--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This a Typical 7-1/2 Year Old?
By: Aleko Date: July 17, 2023, 1:42 am
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I’d give her a pass in the specific case of the “oh, never
mind”: it’s quite possible that as soon as her original remark
was out of her mouth she wished she hadn’t said it, and didn’t
know how to drop the subject gracefully. Understandably if so,
because that’s a tricky one even for well-mannered grown-ups.
But in general, it sounds as though she is behaving like an
absolutely normal child who is being led to believe that she is
the centre of the universe. It sounds as though her parents and
grandparents are setting her up for massive social difficulties
in the future.
#Post#: 79683--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This a Typical 7-1/2 Year Old?
By: Hmmm Date: July 17, 2023, 10:02 am
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I wouldn't say it is typical behavior but I remember many of my
daughter's and son's friends behaving similarly. Some of it was
lack of parental training but much of it was that the child just
craved constant attention. As an only child and a homeschooled
child, adult engagement is probably the child's most frequent
interactions. And based on the mom's "she's 7" stance, she has
probably been raised in a very permissive environment.
The good news is that the worst offender from my daughter's
group (she was so bad that other neighbors quit going to her
parent's home for any functions) has turned into a very warm and
caring woman.
#Post#: 79685--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This a Typical 7-1/2 Year Old?
By: Rose Red Date: July 17, 2023, 12:15 pm
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I don't have children of my own but I remember one of my
friend's daughters seemed this way and I was worried how she
will turn out. She was a naturally sweet child but also had a
selfish spoiled streak. But she grew and learned how to be more
kind, more sharing, and how to recognize rudeness. She's now a
lovely young woman who is attending college and working part
time with children. But her parents worked hard at it. They also
signed her up for performing arts/sports outside of school so
she learned how to get along with others and how to win and lose
gracefully.
If parents keep excusing it as "She's only 7, 8, 9, etc." it may
be too late when she reach the teen years.
#Post#: 79686--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This a Typical 7-1/2 Year Old?
By: Lkdrymom Date: July 17, 2023, 12:36 pm
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I don't know about typical but surely not unusual. I got a
different feel from the situation. Sounded like she wanted to
be part of the conversation. If she was trying to monopolize the
conversation then I would say she was rude but if she just
wanted to be part of it, not so much. Reminds me of when I was
a child and my grandmother would take me to visit with an
elderly couple who never had children. Even though I was a well
behaved kid it sure seemed like the fact that I was breathing
annoyed them.
#Post#: 79693--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This a Typical 7-1/2 Year Old?
By: vintagegal Date: July 19, 2023, 7:06 am
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It sounds like she was fairly bored in a roomful of adults. Not
to excuse her behavior, but people sometimes forget how easily
kids can get bored. Did she have anything to occupy her - book,
tablet, toys?
#Post#: 79695--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This a Typical 7-1/2 Year Old?
By: sandisadie Date: July 19, 2023, 12:54 pm
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Our little guest had ample opportunity to play her favorite
board games and a couple of other games all of the five days
they were with us. We worked child size gig saw puzzles. They
were taken to area attractions she was interested in. So she
had plenty of the kind of attention that should have satisfied
any child. She also had her own tablet and toys.
Her appearing to crave the center of attention was on display
during these activities as well as most of the other times she
was not sleeping. She also fake laughed while in the hearing of
what the adults were talking about, most times when we laughed
about something, even when it was clear she probably didn't
understand what we were laughing about.
Thanks for the observations from everyone, so far.
#Post#: 79697--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This a Typical 7-1/2 Year Old?
By: LifeOnPluto Date: July 20, 2023, 6:36 am
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I'm not a parent myself, but I do have friends and cousins with
children around that age. My answer to "is this typical" is...
it depends - mostly on how the child has been raised. In this
case, it sounds like the child has been overly-indulged. It
seems like the interrupting, and changing the conversation - and
having her parents just go along with that - is one symptom.
In your case, I think you dealt with the situation as best as
you could (I'm dying to know what the mother and your
great-granddaughter spoke about when they rushed off into the
spare room!).
In my experience, this behaviour normally plays out two ways:
the kid either grows up to be a lovely person (as many posters
here have indicated), or they turn into an unholy terror with no
respect for anyone. Worst case scenario, they get in trouble
with the law. There doesn't seem to be any in between.
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