DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Entertaining and Hospitality
*****************************************************
#Post#: 79133--------------------------------------------------
High Maintanence guest?
By: Rho Date: April 10, 2023, 9:40 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Last Thursday evening Husband & I hosted a Passover Seder in our
house. For those not familar it is a formal, traditional sit
down meal preceded by readings from a special booklet. We
invited everyone from a group we belong to. There were nine of
us and each person/couple brought either a side dish or dessert.
I have hosted these dozens of times in the past for groups up
to 27 adults and children.
Sue is a lovely person but a horrible guest. She phoned me the
day before to ask if she could bring a unbaked casserole and use
my oven so it would be fresh and warm to serve. She lives 40
minutes away. I told her my oven would be full of chicken and
there would be room for the casserole at 375 degrees. Not a
problem.
Sue shows up, casserole is in the oven with much fanfare, and
everyone sits to begin the readings. Sue gets up several times
to walk into kitchen to check on casserole. Whatever. First
course is served. Next up is soup. I was standing in front of
my oven/stove ladling out soup into bowls as Husband began to
carry them into dining room for guests. Sue walks into kitchen
and indicates she needs to check on casserole RIGHT NOW! For
once I thought quickly; smiled, and quietly told her she would
have to wait until I was done.
The more I think about this I'm gobsmacked she wanted to stop
the food serving flow.
So if I host again next year and she offers her casserole
again---may I say "please bring something that takes less last
minute fussing"?.
#Post#: 79134--------------------------------------------------
Re: High Maintanence guest?
By: Aleko Date: April 11, 2023, 1:55 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Absolutely you can. Soft-soap it as much as you like with praise
of ‘that yummy casserole’, but you are within your rights to say
that you can’t undertake to have oven space available and can’t
cope with any guests needing to be in the kitchen; which rules
out any dish that needs cooking, or indeed any tinkering with
before it goes to table beyond simple reheating.
Sally and her one dish caused you stress; imagine if even one
other guest there had wanted to stir their dish, prepare their
last-minute garnish, or whatever? Nightmare.
#Post#: 79135--------------------------------------------------
Re: High Maintanence guest?
By: lowspark Date: April 11, 2023, 8:05 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Due to the flurry of activity in the kitchen, all dishes must
be ready to serve without any further cooking or prep.
#Post#: 79136--------------------------------------------------
Re: High Maintanence guest?
By: TootsNYC Date: April 11, 2023, 10:18 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Tell her "I'm sorry, I won't have room in the oven at all, and
it's too disruptive to have someone else actually cooking in my
kitchen. Please bring something that is ready to serve. If you'd
like to bring that casserole, maybe you could put it in an
insulated cooler for the trip. I'll have a way to keep it warm
once you get here."
And you can get your own big cooler to put it in.
#Post#: 79166--------------------------------------------------
Re: High Maintanence guest?
By: Gellchom Date: April 14, 2023, 5:32 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
When we gave big Seders and Thanksgiving dinners with many
guests, I often hired a helper. I didn’t care if they washed a
single dish. The real purpose was to keep the guests out of the
kitchen! People want to feel helpful, so no matter what you
say, they each bring in “just this one thing” and of course put
the dirty plates right smack in the middle of the clean area you
need to prep the next course, which is anything but helpful. No
matter how much you beg, they insist on “helping.” But if you
can say, “please everyone stay out of the kitchen; it messes up
Cathy’s system,” it works every time.
I agree, next time ask everyone to bring only things that need
no kitchen time. That’s not unreasonable.
*****************************************************