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#Post#: 78477--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: NFPwife Date: January 23, 2023, 7:55 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=LifeOnPluto link=topic=2453.msg78432#msg78432
date=1674126411]
[quote author=jpcher link=topic=2453.msg78427#msg78427
date=1674079191]
[quote author=Bada link=topic=2453.msg78423#msg78423
date=1674062346]
I've always thought ordering drinks is okay but ordering food is
rude. I guess it's because most places offer a drink as soon as
you sit and it's usually something you can do without thinking.
But ordering appetizers makes it look like you think you're
going to be waiting forever for the other party to show and it's
the kind of thing that usually takes some thought and looking
over the menu, so doubly so on the "I think they'll be late. "
[/quote]
I agree with this.
But what is an acceptable wait time for late comers before
ordering an appetizer? I'm thinking 1/2 hour, because if it's
any longer than that the establishment is losing money. I would
almost feel obligated to order something just to keep the table.
[/quote]
I think half an hour is reasonable. And in that situation, I
think it's actually polite for the person running late to
encourage the others to go ahead and order!
I remember once meeting a group of friends for dinner, and two
of them (let's call them Jim and June) were running late. About
15 minutes after we'd arranged to meet, Jim texted one of our
mutual friends saying he and June would be another half hour (so
a total of 45 minutes late). He ended the message by saying
"Maybe you guys can order some drinks or something while you
wait?" The subtext of course was: "Wait for us before ordering
food". So we waited until they arrived before ordering our food,
but I was secretly unhappy about it, because I was hungry!
[/quote]
I would have ignored the subtext and ordered an appetizer.
Primarily because I can't stand subtext and if you don't
communicate directly I'm going with what I want it to mean.
Also, if I'm hungry, I'm eating, 45 minutes is too late to
expect someone to wait for food. If I'm ordering alcohol, I
really should have food with it.
I wait 15 minutes for someone who is late before ordering an
app. In undergrad, the rule of thumb was if the prof was 15
minutes late, you could leave, so I just declare, "college
rules" and order. (If you haven't already guessed, I get hangry.
Most people meeting know I'm not waiting to order an app beyond
15 minutes.)
#Post#: 78479--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: mime Date: January 24, 2023, 12:27 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=PVZFan link=topic=2453.msg78477#msg78477
date=1674525305]
I would have ignored the subtext and ordered an appetizer.
Primarily because I can't stand subtext and if you don't
communicate directly I'm going with what I want it to mean.
Also, if I'm hungry, I'm eating, 45 minutes is too late to
expect someone to wait for food. If I'm ordering alcohol, I
really should have food with it.
I wait 15 minutes for someone who is late before ordering an
app. In undergrad, the rule of thumb was if the prof was 15
minutes late, you could leave, so I just declare, "college
rules" and order. (If you haven't already guessed, I get hangry.
Most people meeting know I'm not waiting to order an app beyond
15 minutes.)
[/quote]
I agree with this 15 minutes is late enough that the people who
are on time should order appetizers. You shouldn't hold up
everyone's dinner for 15 minutes and expect them to sit at the
table in a restaurant not eating. After 30 minutes I think it's
fair to order food. At that point there will be people who are
worrying about being able to finish dinner before they have to
get home to relieve the sitter or let the dog out. Not fair to
make them wait 45 minutes and then rush.
My timeline is:
0-15 minutes: wait. Get drinks while you wait.
15-30 minutes: order appetizers
30-45 minutes: order food. Assume they're not coming. Some of
this changes if the late person is in contact, like maybe you
offer to order for them so their food is ready when they arrive.
#Post#: 78481--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: Hmmm Date: January 24, 2023, 8:58 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=LifeOnPluto link=topic=2453.msg78432#msg78432
date=1674126411]
[quote author=jpcher link=topic=2453.msg78427#msg78427
date=1674079191]
[quote author=Bada link=topic=2453.msg78423#msg78423
date=1674062346]
I've always thought ordering drinks is okay but ordering food is
rude. I guess it's because most places offer a drink as soon as
you sit and it's usually something you can do without thinking.
But ordering appetizers makes it look like you think you're
going to be waiting forever for the other party to show and it's
the kind of thing that usually takes some thought and looking
over the menu, so doubly so on the "I think they'll be late. "
[/quote]
I agree with this.
But what is an acceptable wait time for late comers before
ordering an appetizer? I'm thinking 1/2 hour, because if it's
any longer than that the establishment is losing money. I would
almost feel obligated to order something just to keep the table.
[/quote]
I think half an hour is reasonable. And in that situation, I
think it's actually polite for the person running late to
encourage the others to go ahead and order!
I remember once meeting a group of friends for dinner, and two
of them (let's call them Jim and June) were running late. About
15 minutes after we'd arranged to meet, Jim texted one of our
mutual friends saying he and June would be another half hour (so
a total of 45 minutes late). He ended the message by saying
"Maybe you guys can order some drinks or something while you
wait?" The subtext of course was: "Wait for us before ordering
food". So we waited until they arrived before ordering our food,
but I was secretly unhappy about it, because I was hungry!
[/quote]
I would have interpreted it to mean they expected you do order
drinks and food (something) while waiting. I'm not sure what
else the "or something" would be if not food. I would assume
they were hoping you wouldn't order your meals but maybe a
shared appetizer.
#Post#: 78483--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: NFPwife Date: January 24, 2023, 10:50 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2453.msg78481#msg78481
date=1674572281]
[quote author=LifeOnPluto link=topic=2453.msg78432#msg78432
date=1674126411]
[quote author=jpcher link=topic=2453.msg78427#msg78427
date=1674079191]
[quote author=Bada link=topic=2453.msg78423#msg78423
date=1674062346]
I've always thought ordering drinks is okay but ordering food is
rude. I guess it's because most places offer a drink as soon as
you sit and it's usually something you can do without thinking.
But ordering appetizers makes it look like you think you're
going to be waiting forever for the other party to show and it's
the kind of thing that usually takes some thought and looking
over the menu, so doubly so on the "I think they'll be late. "
[/quote]
I agree with this.
But what is an acceptable wait time for late comers before
ordering an appetizer? I'm thinking 1/2 hour, because if it's
any longer than that the establishment is losing money. I would
almost feel obligated to order something just to keep the table.
[/quote]
I think half an hour is reasonable. And in that situation, I
think it's actually polite for the person running late to
encourage the others to go ahead and order!
I remember once meeting a group of friends for dinner, and two
of them (let's call them Jim and June) were running late. About
15 minutes after we'd arranged to meet, Jim texted one of our
mutual friends saying he and June would be another half hour (so
a total of 45 minutes late). He ended the message by saying
"Maybe you guys can order some drinks or something while you
wait?" The subtext of course was: "Wait for us before ordering
food". So we waited until they arrived before ordering our food,
but I was secretly unhappy about it, because I was hungry!
[/quote]
I would have interpreted it to mean they expected you do order
drinks and food (something) while waiting. I'm not sure what
else the "or something" would be if not food. I would assume
they were hoping you wouldn't order your meals but maybe a
shared appetizer.
[/quote]
I wondered about the "or something" too, but they're 45 minutes
late. I'm not sure how big the rest of the group was but once
they're that late, they can't really expect to dictate what
everyone can or cannot order.
I agree with pjeans timeline. At 30 minutes late, it's time to
order a meal. I would have texted them at 30 minutes and said,
"We're ordering food, do you want us to order yours so it's here
when you get here or would you prefer to order when you arrive?"
#Post#: 78485--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: Hmmm Date: January 24, 2023, 3:09 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=PVZFan link=topic=2453.msg78483#msg78483
date=1674579034]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2453.msg78481#msg78481
date=1674572281]
[quote author=LifeOnPluto link=topic=2453.msg78432#msg78432
date=1674126411]
[quote author=jpcher link=topic=2453.msg78427#msg78427
date=1674079191]
[quote author=Bada link=topic=2453.msg78423#msg78423
date=1674062346]
I've always thought ordering drinks is okay but ordering food is
rude. I guess it's because most places offer a drink as soon as
you sit and it's usually something you can do without thinking.
But ordering appetizers makes it look like you think you're
going to be waiting forever for the other party to show and it's
the kind of thing that usually takes some thought and looking
over the menu, so doubly so on the "I think they'll be late. "
[/quote]
I agree with this.
But what is an acceptable wait time for late comers before
ordering an appetizer? I'm thinking 1/2 hour, because if it's
any longer than that the establishment is losing money. I would
almost feel obligated to order something just to keep the table.
[/quote]
I think half an hour is reasonable. And in that situation, I
think it's actually polite for the person running late to
encourage the others to go ahead and order!
I remember once meeting a group of friends for dinner, and two
of them (let's call them Jim and June) were running late. About
15 minutes after we'd arranged to meet, Jim texted one of our
mutual friends saying he and June would be another half hour (so
a total of 45 minutes late). He ended the message by saying
"Maybe you guys can order some drinks or something while you
wait?" The subtext of course was: "Wait for us before ordering
food". So we waited until they arrived before ordering our food,
but I was secretly unhappy about it, because I was hungry!
[/quote]
I would have interpreted it to mean they expected you do order
drinks and food (something) while waiting. I'm not sure what
else the "or something" would be if not food. I would assume
they were hoping you wouldn't order your meals but maybe a
shared appetizer.
[/quote]
I wondered about the "or something" too, but they're 45 minutes
late. I'm not sure how big the rest of the group was but once
they're that late, they can't really expect to dictate what
everyone can or cannot order.
I agree with pjeans timeline. At 30 minutes late, it's time to
order a meal. I would have texted them at 30 minutes and said,
"We're ordering food, do you want us to order yours so it's here
when you get here or would you prefer to order when you arrive?"
[/quote]
Oh, I agree that the late comers can't be dictating what the
other's can and can't do. I might be willing to wait to order
my meal till everyone arrives depending on the group I'm with
and the my schedule. But there is no way I'm sitting and waiting
for more than 30 minutes without something to nosh on.
#Post#: 78488--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: TootsNYC Date: January 24, 2023, 3:47 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I don't eat appetizers.
I don't have room, either in my stomach or in my calorie count.
If you're arriving a half hour after we were going to meet, I'm
ordering my dinner.
I'll hang around and chat with you when you finally get there,
but I'm not going to go without food when I'm hungry, and I'm
not going to overeat with appetizers to accommodate you.
And that "or something" definitely was not intended to say
"order your meal."
#Post#: 78490--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: Rose Red Date: January 24, 2023, 4:56 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=2453.msg78488#msg78488
date=1674596840]
I don't have room, either in my stomach or in my calorie count.
[/quote]
I'm the same; I have portion control issues and will not feel
good later that night by overeating. Plus I'm not spending more
money for both an appetizer and a plated meal just because
someone is late without good reason.
I love appetizers and may order one early if I'm really hungry
and/or lightheaded, but then just add soup or side salad when
the latecomer arrives. Not a full meal.
I will also tell others to go ahead and order if I'm stuck in
unexpected traffic or something. I'd be too uncomfortable making
people wait for me.
#Post#: 78497--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: NFPwife Date: January 25, 2023, 9:46 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=2453.msg78490#msg78490
date=1674600995]
[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=2453.msg78488#msg78488
date=1674596840]
I don't have room, either in my stomach or in my calorie count.
[/quote]
I'm the same; I have portion control issues and will not feel
good later that night by overeating. Plus I'm not spending more
money for both an appetizer and a plated meal just because
someone is late without good reason.
I love appetizers and may order one early if I'm really hungry
and/or lightheaded, but then just add soup or side salad when
the latecomer arrives. Not a full meal.
I will also tell others to go ahead and order if I'm stuck in
unexpected traffic or something. I'd be too uncomfortable making
people wait for me.
[/quote]
While we discussing calories and portion control, I typically
would budget my calories for the day to that meal - hence the
hangry at waiting an interminable time to order something.
Sometimes I plan on having an appetizer (or two!) as my meal so
I might order one at 15 minutes and then one later. This thread
reminded me that I used to meet a friend who was frequently late
at a Chinese restaurant where I could order edamame while I
waited. I'd sip tea, nibble my edamame, and read on my Kindle
app. I was never annoyed when she finally arrived because I'd
planned for it and used the time to recharge.
#Post#: 78498--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 25, 2023, 10:09 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Another thought. Not only does ordering an unexpected appetizer
add to your calorie count, but it could also blow your budget.
If we are going to a certain restaurant, I know approximately
how much the meal is going to cost. If I now have to add an
appetizer and/or extra drinks, then I might spend more than
anticipated.
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