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#Post#: 78427--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: jpcher Date: January 18, 2023, 3:59 pm
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[quote author=Bada link=topic=2453.msg78423#msg78423
date=1674062346]
I've always thought ordering drinks is okay but ordering food is
rude. I guess it's because most places offer a drink as soon as
you sit and it's usually something you can do without thinking.
But ordering appetizers makes it look like you think you're
going to be waiting forever for the other party to show and it's
the kind of thing that usually takes some thought and looking
over the menu, so doubly so on the "I think they'll be late. "
[/quote]
I agree with this.
But what is an acceptable wait time for late comers before
ordering an appetizer? I'm thinking 1/2 hour, because if it's
any longer than that the establishment is losing money. I would
almost feel obligated to order something just to keep the table.
#Post#: 78432--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: LifeOnPluto Date: January 19, 2023, 5:06 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=jpcher link=topic=2453.msg78427#msg78427
date=1674079191]
[quote author=Bada link=topic=2453.msg78423#msg78423
date=1674062346]
I've always thought ordering drinks is okay but ordering food is
rude. I guess it's because most places offer a drink as soon as
you sit and it's usually something you can do without thinking.
But ordering appetizers makes it look like you think you're
going to be waiting forever for the other party to show and it's
the kind of thing that usually takes some thought and looking
over the menu, so doubly so on the "I think they'll be late. "
[/quote]
I agree with this.
But what is an acceptable wait time for late comers before
ordering an appetizer? I'm thinking 1/2 hour, because if it's
any longer than that the establishment is losing money. I would
almost feel obligated to order something just to keep the table.
[/quote]
I think half an hour is reasonable. And in that situation, I
think it's actually polite for the person running late to
encourage the others to go ahead and order!
I remember once meeting a group of friends for dinner, and two
of them (let's call them Jim and June) were running late. About
15 minutes after we'd arranged to meet, Jim texted one of our
mutual friends saying he and June would be another half hour (so
a total of 45 minutes late). He ended the message by saying
"Maybe you guys can order some drinks or something while you
wait?" The subtext of course was: "Wait for us before ordering
food". So we waited until they arrived before ordering our food,
but I was secretly unhappy about it, because I was hungry!
#Post#: 78434--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: TootsNYC Date: January 19, 2023, 9:59 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=2453.msg78414#msg78414
date=1674047971]
[quote author=oogyda link=topic=2453.msg78410#msg78410
date=1673982362]
[quote author=honeybee42 link=topic=2453.msg78409#msg78409
date=1673981404]
A lot of restaurants won't even seat you unless the full party
is present, so it seems to me that if they *do* seat those who
arrived on time, there is nothing wrong with those who are
present ordering beverages or even an appetizer to be shared
with those who did get there on time.
[/quote]
This was my first thought.
I guess I just don't understand what the problem with ordering a
drink before the rest of the party arrives would be.
Would it be an issue if that same person waited in the bar area
and ordered a drink?
Or is that somehow rude as well?
[/quote]
I'm on the same stream of thought. And if the restaurant is
willing to seat half the party, then I think I owe it to the
establishment to order something. I am taking up space, so they
should be making some money.
If ordering a drink in the bar area is rude, then I need to
rethink my behavior. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting at the
bar pounding drinks so fast that when my companion arrives that
I can't even walk to our table. But I think that having a single
drink is a perfectly fine way to wait.
[/quote]
And sometimes you can't take a drink from the bar area over to
the restaurant table. I've been at restaurants where it's
against either the restaurant policy or some law about not being
able to take drinks away from the bar.
These Q's are kind of amusing to me because restaurant policies
so often would eliminate the entire situation.
Meanwhile, I think it sort of depends on how late they are. I'd
personally not want to "start without them" at only 5 or 10
minutes late. They get later than that, and I think you are
always clear to get started, and they would need to shorten
their own experience to match the activity's timeframe; they
just will have to miss out on appetizers or dessert, or
something.
Think of it as if you're having a poker night; they miss the
first few hands, but people don't stay to play extra ones to
make up for it on their behalf.
Arriving early and getting a drink at the bar while you wait
seems OK to me, because that's not part of the "main activity."
#Post#: 78435--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: Hmmm Date: January 19, 2023, 10:51 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=jpcher link=topic=2453.msg78427#msg78427
date=1674079191]
[quote author=Bada link=topic=2453.msg78423#msg78423
date=1674062346]
I've always thought ordering drinks is okay but ordering food is
rude. I guess it's because most places offer a drink as soon as
you sit and it's usually something you can do without thinking.
But ordering appetizers makes it look like you think you're
going to be waiting forever for the other party to show and it's
the kind of thing that usually takes some thought and looking
over the menu, so doubly so on the "I think they'll be late. "
[/quote]
I agree with this.
But what is an acceptable wait time for late comers before
ordering an appetizer? I'm thinking 1/2 hour, because if it's
any longer than that the establishment is losing money. I would
almost feel obligated to order something just to keep the table.
[/quote]
I think a half hour is very generous. But for me it is
situational. If I'm hungry, after 15 minutes I might order an
app that is easy to share when they arrive. I wouldn't order an
app that is just for me unless they are over 30 minutes late.
But I'm also wondering if my perspective is off from growing up
with TexMex being the most common meal we ate out growing up.
Free Chips and Salsa was provided as soon as you sat with
refills being brought as needed. The early or on time arrivers
might go ahead and order queso for the table while waiting for
others to join. Other places we'd frequent in the 80's and 90's
would always bring some type of bread and butter basket to snack
on while ordering or waiting to order. I'm not sure if fried
wonton strips with duck sauce was common in other areas but it
seemed like a bunch of them would bring them out in our area.
#Post#: 78453--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: LifeOnPluto Date: January 20, 2023, 10:11 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Bada link=topic=2453.msg78423#msg78423
date=1674062346]
I've always thought ordering drinks is okay but ordering food is
rude. I guess it's because most places offer a drink as soon as
you sit and it's usually something you can do without thinking.
But ordering appetizers makes it look like you think you're
going to be waiting forever for the other party to show and it's
the kind of thing that usually takes some thought and looking
over the menu, so doubly so on the "I think they'll be late. "
Here's a different spin on this situation from Reddit today. Am
I the AH for eating the whole plate of nachos? Hostess texted
to say she was running VERY late (though OP later adds she was
15 min early and knew everyone would be late) (edit: actually
that lady wasnt even the hostess so I'm not sure why she took
over ordering like that) so Hostess called to order and pay for
$35 nachos for the table. Then the rest of the group says
they're running late too (not able to leave work early after
all). So OP sits for an hour, alone, munching nachos and eats
the whole plate. When hostess arrives and finds OP ate them all
she's livid. OP says she'd pay for the nachos (since now she's
not going to eat an entree). When she finds out they're prepaid
she offers to buy the hostess drinks instead. Hostess shouts
that she's pregnant and was planning to announce it at her party
next week and storms out.
[/quote]
AITA can be such a wild ride, can't it? My favourite story from
this week was the 22 year old bride who didn't invite her 20
year old friend to the wedding because it was "childfree". The
bride went on to state that she didn't want her friend to
indulge in any underage drinking at the wedding, even though the
bride herself used to go drinking with her friend before they
were both underage!
As for this AITA post, my sympathies are with the OP. And yes,
why on earth organise a dinner for 4pm when nearly everyone has
to work until 5pm?!
#Post#: 78456--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: oogyda Date: January 21, 2023, 7:13 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=LifeOnPluto link=topic=2453.msg78453#msg78453
date=1674274264]
[quote author=Bada link=topic=2453.msg78423#msg78423
date=1674062346]
I've always thought ordering drinks is okay but ordering food is
rude. I guess it's because most places offer a drink as soon as
you sit and it's usually something you can do without thinking.
But ordering appetizers makes it look like you think you're
going to be waiting forever for the other party to show and it's
the kind of thing that usually takes some thought and looking
over the menu, so doubly so on the "I think they'll be late. "
Here's a different spin on this situation from Reddit today. Am
I the AH for eating the whole plate of nachos? Hostess texted
to say she was running VERY late (though OP later adds she was
15 min early and knew everyone would be late) (edit: actually
that lady wasnt even the hostess so I'm not sure why she took
over ordering like that) so Hostess called to order and pay for
$35 nachos for the table. Then the rest of the group says
they're running late too (not able to leave work early after
all). So OP sits for an hour, alone, munching nachos and eats
the whole plate. When hostess arrives and finds OP ate them all
she's livid. OP says she'd pay for the nachos (since now she's
not going to eat an entree). When she finds out they're prepaid
she offers to buy the hostess drinks instead. Hostess shouts
that she's pregnant and was planning to announce it at her party
next week and storms out.
[/quote]
AITA can be such a wild ride, can't it? My favourite story from
this week was the 22 year old bride who didn't invite her 20
year old friend to the wedding because it was "childfree". The
bride went on to state that she didn't want her friend to
indulge in any underage drinking at the wedding, even though the
bride herself used to go drinking with her friend before they
were both underage!
As for this AITA post, my sympathies are with the OP. And yes,
why on earth organise a dinner for 4pm when nearly everyone has
to work until 5pm?!
[/quote]
And why would everyone agree to it?
As I typed that, I realized that the ones who work until 5
*planned* on being ridiculously late, thinking this was a casual
"let's meet up after work" situation.
#Post#: 78458--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: Lula Date: January 21, 2023, 12:39 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Anyone happen to have a copy of the AITA OP? It has been
deleted from Reddit...
#Post#: 78459--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: oogyda Date: January 21, 2023, 2:21 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Lula link=topic=2453.msg78458#msg78458
date=1674326364]
Anyone happen to have a copy of the AITA OP? It has been
deleted from Reddit...
[/quote]
The "whole plate of nachos" was from reddit. The OP in this
thread was from Miss Manners
HTML https://www.uexpress.com/life/miss-manners/2023/01/17
#Post#: 78465--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: Bada Date: January 22, 2023, 1:21 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Lula link=topic=2453.msg78458#msg78458
date=1674326364]
Anyone happen to have a copy of the AITA OP? It has been
deleted from Reddit...
[/quote]
I can't do it on the phone browser version, but if you're on a
computer you should be able to sort by new and scroll to the
bottom. One of the oldest posts will be the "judgement bot" that
saved the OP when it's first made (some platforms just let you
sort by old, I've heard).
HTML https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10f6nfs/aita_for_eating_an_entire_plate_of_nachos_that_a/?sort=new
#Post#: 78475--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: Winterlight Date: January 23, 2023, 7:23 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I think ordering drinks is fine. Ordering food, I'd probably
hold off for a bit until I knew what was going on with the rest
of the party- is it just traffic making them late, was there an
unavoidable delay, or are they habitually tardy to the point
where I could probably eat a full meal and take a nap before
they arrived? (In the latter case, though, I'd refuse to ever
meet them at a restaurant.)
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