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#Post#: 78400--------------------------------------------------
Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: Hmmm Date: January 17, 2023, 11:08 am
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In Miss Manners column today the following question was posed.
If you arrive at a restaurant, is it proper to go ahead and be
seated at the table before the rest of your party and is it ok
to order drinks or appetizers while waiting. Miss Manners
response was "Only if they are really late, and you greet them
by saying, “I know you wouldn’t have wanted us to wait.”
In my experience, most people will go ahead and order a drink
prior to the other guests arrival. I think my norm is if I'm
just meeting one person, I'll usually just ask for water while
waiting but if it's a couple of us waiting then we may go
ahead and order a cocktail. I can't think of any time I've
ordered apps before the rest arrive unless the other's were
going to be significantly late.
Would you be bothered by arriving at a table to find other's
already having a drink or cocktail?
#Post#: 78405--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: Jem Date: January 17, 2023, 11:30 am
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The people who would be rude would be the members of the party
who were not on time. Ordering beverages is appropriate and
expected in my experience, and I find the latecomers to be in
the wrong as rude to both their party and the server and
restaurant.
#Post#: 78409--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: honeybee42 Date: January 17, 2023, 12:50 pm
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A lot of restaurants won't even seat you unless the full party
is present, so it seems to me that if they *do* seat those who
arrived on time, there is nothing wrong with those who are
present ordering beverages or even an appetizer to be shared
with those who did get there on time.
If I were at a restaurant and they offered to seat me even if
some of the party hadn't gotten there yet, I would not want to
decline and continue sitting in the waiting area--that is going
to make me peeved with respect to the people who didn't arrive
on time, which is going to make the whole meal unpleasant. But
then, it's also probably the last time that I would ever agree
to meet the latecomers at a restaurant unless they had an
extremely good reason (eg, were in an accident on the way
there).
#Post#: 78410--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: oogyda Date: January 17, 2023, 1:06 pm
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[quote author=honeybee42 link=topic=2453.msg78409#msg78409
date=1673981404]
A lot of restaurants won't even seat you unless the full party
is present, so it seems to me that if they *do* seat those who
arrived on time, there is nothing wrong with those who are
present ordering beverages or even an appetizer to be shared
with those who did get there on time.
[/quote]
This was my first thought.
I guess I just don't understand what the problem with ordering a
drink before the rest of the party arrives would be.
Would it be an issue if that same person waited in the bar area
and ordered a drink?
Or is that somehow rude as well?
#Post#: 78414--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 18, 2023, 7:19 am
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[quote author=oogyda link=topic=2453.msg78410#msg78410
date=1673982362]
[quote author=honeybee42 link=topic=2453.msg78409#msg78409
date=1673981404]
A lot of restaurants won't even seat you unless the full party
is present, so it seems to me that if they *do* seat those who
arrived on time, there is nothing wrong with those who are
present ordering beverages or even an appetizer to be shared
with those who did get there on time.
[/quote]
This was my first thought.
I guess I just don't understand what the problem with ordering a
drink before the rest of the party arrives would be.
Would it be an issue if that same person waited in the bar area
and ordered a drink?
Or is that somehow rude as well?
[/quote]
I'm on the same stream of thought. And if the restaurant is
willing to seat half the party, then I think I owe it to the
establishment to order something. I am taking up space, so they
should be making some money.
If ordering a drink in the bar area is rude, then I need to
rethink my behavior. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting at the
bar pounding drinks so fast that when my companion arrives that
I can't even walk to our table. But I think that having a single
drink is a perfectly fine way to wait.
#Post#: 78416--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: Hmmm Date: January 18, 2023, 9:43 am
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[quote author=Jem link=topic=2453.msg78405#msg78405
date=1673976651]
The people who would be rude would be the members of the party
who were not on time. Ordering beverages is appropriate and
expected in my experience, and I find the latecomers to be in
the wrong as rude to both their party and the server and
restaurant.
[/quote]
Jem, what is your opinion if the other party isn't late?
For instance, DH and I met his mom and sister for brunch. We
planned to do an errand on the way but weather was bad so we
blew it off and arrived 15 minutes prior to the reservation
time. They went ahead and seated us since our table was
available. He and I ordered coffee while we were waiting. SIL &
MIL arrived on time.
A couple of weeks ago I was meeting friends for an early dinner.
They live further from the restaurant and being concerned about
rush hour traffic, arrived probably 10 minutes early (I know
because they texted they had arrived and were seated). They had
cocktails when I arrived. I wasn't bothered and wouldn't have
expected them to wait on me.
#Post#: 78418--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: Hmmm Date: January 18, 2023, 9:48 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=oogyda link=topic=2453.msg78410#msg78410
date=1673982362]
[quote author=honeybee42 link=topic=2453.msg78409#msg78409
date=1673981404]
A lot of restaurants won't even seat you unless the full party
is present, so it seems to me that if they *do* seat those who
arrived on time, there is nothing wrong with those who are
present ordering beverages or even an appetizer to be shared
with those who did get there on time.
[/quote]
This was my first thought.
I guess I just don't understand what the problem with ordering a
drink before the rest of the party arrives would be.
Would it be an issue if that same person waited in the bar area
and ordered a drink?
Or is that somehow rude as well?
[/quote]
You had the same thoughts as I did when I read the response. I
wondered if it was because it could give the impression that the
on time arriver was actually late? I remember there being a
discussion on here about someone saying they had a friend who
was always early and she felt bad if she arrived on time.
#Post#: 78420--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: Jem Date: January 18, 2023, 10:28 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2453.msg78416#msg78416
date=1674056601]
[quote author=Jem link=topic=2453.msg78405#msg78405
date=1673976651]
The people who would be rude would be the members of the party
who were not on time. Ordering beverages is appropriate and
expected in my experience, and I find the latecomers to be in
the wrong as rude to both their party and the server and
restaurant.
[/quote]
Jem, what is your opinion if the other party isn't late?
For instance, DH and I met his mom and sister for brunch. We
planned to do an errand on the way but weather was bad so we
blew it off and arrived 15 minutes prior to the reservation
time. They went ahead and seated us since our table was
available. He and I ordered coffee while we were waiting. SIL &
MIL arrived on time.
A couple of weeks ago I was meeting friends for an early dinner.
They live further from the restaurant and being concerned about
rush hour traffic, arrived probably 10 minutes early (I know
because they texted they had arrived and were seated). They had
cocktails when I arrived. I wasn't bothered and wouldn't have
expected them to wait on me.
[/quote]
I still think that if the restaurant seats you it is appropriate
and expected to order a beverage.
#Post#: 78423--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: Bada Date: January 18, 2023, 11:19 am
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I've always thought ordering drinks is okay but ordering food is
rude. I guess it's because most places offer a drink as soon as
you sit and it's usually something you can do without thinking.
But ordering appetizers makes it look like you think you're
going to be waiting forever for the other party to show and it's
the kind of thing that usually takes some thought and looking
over the menu, so doubly so on the "I think they'll be late. "
Here's a different spin on this situation from Reddit today. Am
I the AH for eating the whole plate of nachos? Hostess texted
to say she was running VERY late (though OP later adds she was
15 min early and knew everyone would be late) (edit: actually
that lady wasnt even the hostess so I'm not sure why she took
over ordering like that) so Hostess called to order and pay for
$35 nachos for the table. Then the rest of the group says
they're running late too (not able to leave work early after
all). So OP sits for an hour, alone, munching nachos and eats
the whole plate. When hostess arrives and finds OP ate them all
she's livid. OP says she'd pay for the nachos (since now she's
not going to eat an entree). When she finds out they're prepaid
she offers to buy the hostess drinks instead. Hostess shouts
that she's pregnant and was planning to announce it at her party
next week and storms out.
HTML https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10f6nfs/aita_for_eating_an_entire_plate_of_nachos_that_a/
I think NTA (not the AH) here because nachos are even worse than
regular apps when cold. But OP says most of them work til 5, so
I don't understand why they scheduled dinner for 4pm.
#Post#: 78425--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ordering drinks before full party arrives at the restuarant
By: honeybee42 Date: January 18, 2023, 12:29 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Bada link=topic=2453.msg78423#msg78423
date=1674062346]
I've always thought ordering drinks is okay but ordering food is
rude. I guess it's because most places offer a drink as soon as
you sit and it's usually something you can do without thinking.
But ordering appetizers makes it look like you think you're
going to be waiting forever for the other party to show and it's
the kind of thing that usually takes some thought and looking
over the menu, so doubly so on the "I think they'll be late. "
Here's a different spin on this situation from Reddit today. Am
I the AH for eating the whole plate of nachos? Hostess texted
to say she was running VERY late (though OP later adds she was
15 min early and knew everyone would be late) (edit: actually
that lady wasnt even the hostess so I'm not sure why she took
over ordering like that) so Hostess called to order and pay for
$35 nachos for the table. Then the rest of the group says
they're running late too (not able to leave work early after
all). So OP sits for an hour, alone, munching nachos and eats
the whole plate. When hostess arrives and finds OP ate them all
she's livid. OP says she'd pay for the nachos (since now she's
not going to eat an entree). When she finds out they're prepaid
she offers to buy the hostess drinks instead. Hostess shouts
that she's pregnant and was planning to announce it at her party
next week and storms out.
HTML https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10f6nfs/aita_for_eating_an_entire_plate_of_nachos_that_a/
I think NTA (not the AH) here because nachos are even worse than
regular apps when cold. But OP says most of them work til 5, so
I don't understand why they scheduled dinner for 4pm.
[/quote]
Yes, if the people in the group usually work until 5, it is
really weird to schedule it for an hour before that. But, I'm
going to firmly concur with NTA ... The person sat there for an
hour alone with the plate of nachos. What was she supposed to
do, sit there for an hour looking wistfully at the food and
watch it grow stone cold?
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