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#Post#: 77636--------------------------------------------------
Interesting assumption - speculating on bathroom activites
By: Raintree Date: November 3, 2022, 2:02 am
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I guess "interesting assumption" could have applied here but I
didn't think of it.
There's this person where I work in kind of a casual (as in
occasional) employment situation and she's nice enough and
amicable enough, but for some reason I just don't take to her. I
wonder if I'm just overly influenced by my first impression:
I had barely even met her and I was about to go into the
bathroom just as she was about to go in there to re-stock TP or
change a light bulb or something. She urged me to go ahead and
she'd go do some other chore first. So I did. Just a #1 for me,
and then I needed to brush my teeth as I'd just had coffee and
didn't want to breathe it all over everyone. I might have fixed
my hair as well, or some other grooming thing, I don't remember.
And I always make sure to leave no trace of my passing, so I
would have rinsed and wiped the sink after. So I guess I took a
bit longer than it would normally take for most people to just
pee, but not ages and ages or anything. I was probably in there
for 5-6 minutes maybe? So I came out and ran into her in the
hallway and mentioned the bathroom was free. She then said, "Oh,
haha, I think we'll just put the fan on and I'll wait a little
while since you've been doing your business in there."
Huh? I was just a bit put out at the assumption that I must have
been doing a #2 and stunk up the place, based only on the fact
that I wasn't super quick in there. I just said, "Uh, I think
you'll find it's just fine" or something. Or even if that had
been what I was doing, it's a perfectly normal use of a bathroom
and if she didn't want to go in there right after me she could
have just waited without SAYING anything about it.
I dunno, just kind of struck me as an icky thing to say to
someone you only just met. That one interaction influenced how I
perceive her to this day, even though I know that's probably
unreasonable of me (she also has a loud, shrill voice I don't
care for but apart from that she seems nice enough).
Next time anyone speculates on my bathroom activities I will
just tell them it's an interesting assumption.
#Post#: 77640--------------------------------------------------
Re: Interesting assumption - speculating on bathroom activites
By: Rose Red Date: November 3, 2022, 8:34 am
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Even if a person did a #2 with an odor aftermath, it's rude to
mention things like that. I thought we are suppose to maintain a
polite fiction when it comes to bodily functions. I've
encountered some doozies but I usually leave the room because "I
forgot something" unless it's urgent.
When you told her the bathroom is free, she should just say OK
and pretend to do other chores for few more minutes if she
suspects it was less than fresh.
But this post made me realize I should carry around a small
bottle of air freshener in my bag ;) :D
#Post#: 77643--------------------------------------------------
Re: Interesting assumption - speculating on bathroom activites
By: DaDancingPsych Date: November 3, 2022, 10:03 am
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[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=2419.msg77640#msg77640
date=1667482498]
But this post made me realize I should carry around a small
bottle of air freshener in my bag ;) :D
[/quote]
When I travel, I do! I do like a fresh bathroom, but it helps if
you get a stale hotel room, too.
Anyways... I agree that there is a polite fiction that along
with this. I am trying to find some grace for this woman and
maybe she had a brain short circuit. Being new can make one
nervous and those nerves can make us say stupid things. However,
I am also a big believer in listening to your gut and maybe
there is something off about this woman or maybe the two of you
just don't mix well.
Either way, yes, I think this would have been a perfect
opportunity for an "interesting assumption".
#Post#: 77649--------------------------------------------------
Re: Interesting assumption - speculating on bathroom activites
By: Aleko Date: November 3, 2022, 1:23 pm
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[quote]But this post made me realize I should carry around a
small bottle of air freshener in my bag ;) :D[/quote]
Given how many people have a bad reaction to the chemicals in
air freshener, a better bet would be a box or book of matches.
Smaller and lighter, too!
#Post#: 77700--------------------------------------------------
Re: Interesting assumption - speculating on bathroom activites
By: STiG Date: November 8, 2022, 8:46 pm
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=2419.msg77649#msg77649
date=1667499810]
[quote]But this post made me realize I should carry around a
small bottle of air freshener in my bag ;) :D[/quote]
Given how many people have a bad reaction to the chemicals in
air freshener, a better bet would be a box or book of matches.
Smaller and lighter, too!
[/quote]
Yes to this! Especially in public restrooms. It would make me
really ill if I used a restroom after someone sprayed air
freshener.
#Post#: 77702--------------------------------------------------
Re: Interesting assumption - speculating on bathroom activites
By: NFPwife Date: November 8, 2022, 10:10 pm
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[quote author=STiG link=topic=2419.msg77700#msg77700
date=1667961983]
[quote author=Aleko link=topic=2419.msg77649#msg77649
date=1667499810]
[quote]But this post made me realize I should carry around a
small bottle of air freshener in my bag ;) :D[/quote]
Given how many people have a bad reaction to the chemicals in
air freshener, a better bet would be a box or book of matches.
Smaller and lighter, too!
[/quote]
Yes to this! Especially in public restrooms. It would make me
really ill if I used a restroom after someone sprayed air
freshener.
[/quote]
Yes. People can have strong reactions and problems with scents.
Someone at our former gym was on a mission to have all scents
removed. There was a wall air freshener that she contacted the
board about.
Another person said her mother has sensitivities and she thought
no scents should be used.
But matches? I'd worry they might set off a sensitive sprinkler
system.
To the larger question, the person had bo business commenting on
the amount of time one spent in the restroom let alone
speculating on what occurred. Rude.
#Post#: 78198--------------------------------------------------
Re: Interesting assumption - speculating on bathroom activites
By: Gellchom Date: December 27, 2022, 9:59 am
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I agree, she shouldn't have made that remark. It would have
annoyed me, too.
But I think you were right not to make an "interesting
assumption" or similar comment.
The thing is, no response at all is necessary in this situation.
So the only purpose would be to give a snappy or withering
answer to put her in her place. Which is fun to imagine, I
know! But it's just retaliatory rudeness, and maybe even worse
-- assuming she is just clueless and tactless, but not
maliciously trying to embarrass you.
And what would have come of it? I doubt she would have said,
"Oh, I am so sorry! How rude of me to have said that! Please
forgive me. Thank you so much for teaching me to do better."
She probably at most would have grumbled "Sorry," and walked
away thinking you are a jerk. Lose-lose. Humiliating people
doesn't often lead anywhere good.
So I think you did exactly the right thing! Say nothing in
particular to her, and then come tell us about it and get the
reassurance that you deserve that she was way out of line, but
you acted like a classy grownup.
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