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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 77343--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sticky Situation (involving religion)
DIR By: LifeOnPluto
Date: October 7, 2022, 11:43 pm
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Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear about your casual friend.
Secondly, your other friend's request was quite odd (IMO). Why
can't she simply say a prayer herself? I'm a lapsed Catholic
myself, but I don't recall prayers being any less meaningful if
you pray at home versus in a church. Also - does your friend
know you're an atheist? If she does, and she asked you to pray
on her behalf anyway, that's rather rude!
I'd be inclined to just tell a white lie, and say "yeah, I'll
say a prayer on your behalf" and then not do it. If your friend
was to actually follow up on this later, I think that would be
even weirder! Equally however, I think you'd be fine in simply
thanking your friend, but stating that you won't be praying at
the memorial service, but rather, simply supporting your late
friend's family, and sending good thoughts their way, etc (or
whatever words you feel comfortable with, etc).
#Post#: 77352--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sticky Situation (involving religion)
DIR By: Venus193
Date: October 9, 2022, 10:32 am
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No follow up to this; the subject hasn't come up.
I had actually forgotten that Catholics are encouraged to pray
from anywhere. I had never gone through the full process as my
mother had her epiphany about all this before I was old enough
to be affected by it.
Thanks for all your suggestions.
#Post#: 77353--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sticky Situation (involving religion)
DIR By: Gellchom
Date: October 10, 2022, 12:50 am
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The question was “A friend who doesn't know the deceased asked
me to say a prayer for her on her behalf. What do I say to this
friend?”
My answer would be “Nothing.”
I think DaDancingPsych and Isisnin nailed this one. The friend
was just saying a sympathetic pleasantry. I doubt they even
meant it literally or that they were making any statement about
the nature of prayer assuming agreement from the LW. I think
they’d even be surprised by an answer like “Well, I don’t pray”
or even “I sure will; what do you want me to pray?” It’s not
like they are relying on the LW to pray for them.
I would take it more like, “You’re going to Maine? Have some
lobster for me!” You don’t have to say, “Well, I don’t eat
shellfish.”
#Post#: 77354--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sticky Situation (involving religion)
DIR By: Wanaca
Date: October 10, 2022, 7:39 am
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--- Quote from: gellchom link ---
>
> The question was “A friend who doesn't know the deceased asked
me to say a prayer for her on her behalf. What do I say to this
friend?”
>
> My answer would be “Nothing.”
>
> I think DaDancingPsych and Isisnin nailed this one. The
friend was just saying a sympathetic pleasantry. I doubt they
even meant it literally or that they were making any statement
about the nature of prayer assuming agreement from the LW. I
think they’d even be surprised by an answer like “Well, I don’t
pray” or even “I sure will; what do you want me to pray?” It’s
not like they are relying on the LW to pray for them.
>
> I would take it more like, “You’re going to Maine? Have some
lobster for me!” You don’t have to say, “Well, I don’t eat
shellfish.”
>
--- End Quote ---
I like your analogy!
#Post#: 77355--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sticky Situation (involving religion)
DIR By: NFPwife
Date: October 10, 2022, 11:20 am
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--- Quote from: Wanaca link ---
>
> [quote author=gellchom link=topic=2408.msg77353#msg77353
date=1665381007]
> The question was “A friend who doesn't know the deceased asked
me to say a prayer for her on her behalf. What do I say to this
friend?”
>
> My answer would be “Nothing.”
>
> I think DaDancingPsych and Isisnin nailed this one. The
friend was just saying a sympathetic pleasantry. I doubt they
even meant it literally or that they were making any statement
about the nature of prayer assuming agreement from the LW. I
think they’d even be surprised by an answer like “Well, I don’t
pray” or even “I sure will; what do you want me to pray?” It’s
not like they are relying on the LW to pray for them.
>
> I would take it more like, “You’re going to Maine? Have some
lobster for me!” You don’t have to say, “Well, I don’t eat
shellfish.”
>
--- End Quote ---
I like your analogy!
[/quote]
I agree, I think it was just an attempt at a socially acceptable
phrase that didn't land because you're not religious. I am
religious and if someone said that to me, it wouldn't register.
They'd have to say "Light a candle for me," while palming the
candle offering for me to take any action on their behalf.
(That's the only prayer that would happen at the funeral Mass
that they couldn't say independently.)
#Post#: 77482--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sticky Situation (involving religion)
DIR By: bopper
Date: October 21, 2022, 1:03 pm
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"Ill let the family know you asked for a prayer for her."
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