DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Weddings
*****************************************************
#Post#: 77206--------------------------------------------------
Re: RSVPs and No-Shows . . . thoughts?
By: Lula Date: September 24, 2022, 12:46 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=oogyda link=topic=2394.msg77102#msg77102
date=1662856909]
[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=2394.msg77101#msg77101
date=1662848971]
[quote author=oogyda link=topic=2394.msg77097#msg77097
date=1662810024]
[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=2394.msg77092#msg77092
date=1662770613]
[quote author=STiG link=topic=2394.msg77085#msg77085
date=1662661186]
It's not common in DH's circle. The only family no-shows were
two of his nephews. One of which is getting married on
Saturday. Very tempted to no-show but we won't. It has
coloured my opinion of said nephew and we aren't going all out
on a gift, like we might otherwise have done. It will be
appropriate and about the norm for the family, though.
[/quote]
I think that it is completely understandable that this could
alter one's opinion of another. If I circle back, this is why I
feel that it may be appropriate to contact the no shows. Not to
shame them, but rather to alert them of the potential harm that
could be done to a relationship. I imagine that most no shows
are not malicious, but rather lacking thought.
[/quote]
I think any harm that could be done to a relationship has
already been done unless one can simply forgive and forget.
Alerting someone to potential harm will only serve to put them
on the defensive or make them feel bad for having upset you by
costing you the money. There are circumstances that any of us
would accept as a reason why they couldn't attend, but I think
those reasons would have been stated immediately.
[/quote]
I don't think I was clear. Potential harm to other
relationships. If my brother no showed at my wedding, I would
want to ensure that he understands that it could upset his best
friend / niece / coworker if he did the same to them.
[/quote]
I get what you're saying, and I generally admire your position
on most threads, but I have to disagree. Looking at this
through my own life-colored glasses that have learned to see
through the passive/aggressive motivation behind the "I'm only
telling you this so you'll do better in the future", it would
come across as a dig and clearly convey that you are upset by
it.
[/quote]
I don't view the bolded as undesirable outcomes. But that will
vary from person to person and situation to situation.
#Post#: 77247--------------------------------------------------
Re: RSVPs and No-Shows . . . thoughts?
By: Gellchom Date: September 28, 2022, 4:48 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Jem link=topic=2394.msg77010#msg77010
date=1662126195]
I went to a wedding once where the ceremony was at 4:30 followed
by cocktail hour and then (presumably) dinner and dancing.
Except the cocktail hour went until 6:00 and then they started
announcing the wedding party (pretty normal in my experience)
and then they did all sorts of dances and speeches and pretty
soon it was 8:00 (unusual in my experience). A little after 8:00
salads appeared at our tables (yes - finally!) but then more
dancing and speeches. We left at about 9:35 and there was no
indication that dinner was imminent. My coworker (it was her
daughter getting married) was irritated that we didn’t stay but
we were starving and had to get up early the next day. I wonder
if she thought that was a “no show” for dinner?
[/quote]
I recall when you wrote about this wedding. It seemed like it
was just a case of different community customs and expectations.
I don't recall you mentioning that the mother of the bride was
irritated that you didn't stay for dinner, but anyway I don't
think that the hosts would have considered you all "no shows for
dinner." You didn't do anything wrong.
*****************************************************
DIR Previous Page
DIR Next Page