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#Post#: 76341--------------------------------------------------
Re: No Dogs Allowed
By: lakey Date: July 14, 2022, 8:41 am
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[quote]When did expecting that your dogs would be accommodated
everywhere you travel become a thing?[/quote]
It's entitlement. It's a life view that you get to inflict your
issues and your problems on other people It's not just travel
or overnight visits. The problem is everywhere. They are taking
their dogs into stores, restaurants, and one Sunday I saw a man
at Mass with a frou frou dog. I'm a dog owner and dog lover, and
I find this annoying. Dogs shed, and other people shouldn't have
to deal with dog fur and dander in restaurants and stores.
Because I own a dog, I've missed events, left early, or gotten
someone to watch my dog. It works great.
#Post#: 76342--------------------------------------------------
Re: No Dogs Allowed
By: Aleko Date: July 14, 2022, 9:51 am
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I think that, yes, there are more people around these days who
insist on going everywhere with their dogs and insist on
everyone loving the under-disciplined creatures, whatever they
may do. (This may be connected with the sickly conceit that they
are one's "fur babies". Get a grip, people! Even your own
children aren't your "babies" once they are adults; and adults
of a different species deserve and need to be respected and
treated as such, not as babies.) But I also think that this is
just one form of entitlement: people who are prepared to demand
that their dogs be accepted at a venue where dogs are not
allowed are also quite capable of bringing their toddlers to an
adults-only party, smoking in a no-smoking hotel room, walking
right past the queue to get served first, and generally
expecting clearly-stated rules to be routinely bent for them
just because "It's lovely special snowflake meee, and this is
what I want".
In any case, I'm with Jem and DDP that the neighbours will
certainly have experienced this kind of people before, and Jean,
provided you make clear you have done and are doing your best to
ensure your family comply with their rules I'm sure they
wouldn't dream of holding their behaviour against you.
I'm all for a mailshot to everyone along the lines Jem suggests,
naming no names: and I think it wouldn't hurt to spell out that
if anyone should turn up with their dogs they will just have to
take them away again, right off the premises. No "oh, they can
stay in our car" - we all know that means you plan to sneak them
in later - and no, Jean will not put them up at home. (But I
personally would leave in the "please". You don't want to sound
rude to all your family, and if it is stated crystal-clearly
that dogs will simply not be allowed in, the offenders can
hardly deceive themselves that this is just a request.)
#Post#: 76349--------------------------------------------------
Re: No Dogs Allowed
By: JeanFromBNA Date: July 14, 2022, 1:03 pm
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[quote author=Lula link=topic=2370.msg76337#msg76337
date=1657795570]
How much you wanna bet Dog Owners rock up with their dogs, not
realizing your neighbor had told you about the phone call and
pretending to have NO IDEA what the rules were, and then expect
OP to deal with the "emergency" by accommodating the dogs at her
own place?
[/quote]
I was leaning toward just letting the MIL gossip network take
care of it, but then I read this comment. This hadn't occurred
to me because I'm a reasonable person.
#Post#: 76350--------------------------------------------------
Re: No Dogs Allowed
By: JeanFromBNA Date: July 14, 2022, 1:05 pm
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Our neighbor did say this was not the first time that she'd had
to deal with pushy dog owners. I think she was worried because
we're neighbors, and she doesn't want any hard feelings. I did
apologize, and told her that I had ALREADY told everyone that
dogs weren't allowed.
Given Lula's post above, which I didn't think of, I'm going to
go with Jem's wording modified slightly. When I sent the text to
my husband, he said that if anyone brings dogs, he's going to
stick them in our garage with a water bowl. I don't think that
the dogs-as-babies crew would be happy with that.
I think that part of the problem is that the family kid and dog
watcher is going to be attending the party.
#Post#: 76352--------------------------------------------------
Re: No Dogs Allowed
By: MNdragonlady Date: July 14, 2022, 1:48 pm
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So sorry you are having to deal with this.
My in-laws are dog people. My husband grew up with dogs in the
house, and his parents have 2 good-sized dogs on their property
now, out in the country. However, when they moved to the
country, my MIL declared she was done with dogs in the house.
So, their dogs are only allowed in the yard and out-buildings.
Thus, when we go visit, our small chihuahua-terrier mix doesn’t
go along. She stays at the nice pet hotel. Yes, it’s not cheap
or convenient—the kennel is 20 minutes in the opposite direction
of the in-laws—but it’s MIL’s call, not mine.
I do think you should include a “If you bring your dogs, then
here’s what will happen” note in the email. People who still
think they can bring their dogs along and you’ll “deal with it”
are at least warned. Also, much easier to pass it off to the
rest of the family as a “I don’t understand why they brought the
dogs. I was very clear in my emails about the arrangements. So
sad they had to leave/pay for a last-minute kennel/whatever.”
:)
#Post#: 76353--------------------------------------------------
Re: No Dogs Allowed
By: Bada Date: July 14, 2022, 2:28 pm
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The first time I met my now in-laws, one had rented a house that
did not allow dogs and invited us all to visit them there for a
few days. Days later my FIL's wife was still INDIGNANT she
hadn't been allowed to bring her (medium sized, hypoallergenic)
dog. No one else was jumping in, so I said that if those are
the rules, then those are the rules and the renter of the house
was right to say not to bring the dog. Fil's wife slammed her
hands on the table and said it was time to leave and stormed
out. I was really afraid my boyfriend (now husband) would be
upset, but he said that's just how that woman is (entitled and
narcissistic). I've learned to hold my tongue better around
her, lol.
Good memories.
Entitled dog people make me crazy. Shut it down OP!
#Post#: 76354--------------------------------------------------
Re: No Dogs Allowed
By: NFPwife Date: July 14, 2022, 2:33 pm
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This effort to triangulate suggests two things to me - they
didn't believe and just thought you didn't want dogs and were
blaming the property owner, so they tried to circumvent you for
permission. Or, they thought they could get an exception to the
rule from the property owner because their dog is The BEST DOG
EVER and of course an exception would be granted. Either way, I
think they're planning to show up with the dog so you definitely
want to get ahead of it. Mention the water bowl and garage as
the "accommodations" for pets.
To borrow liberally from Jem I might say....
The venue has let us know that someone contacted them asking
about bringing dogs to MIL's party in August. The venue declined
the request and reached out to me to clarify their rules. As I
outlined previously, there are to be NO DOGS on the property. If
you are unable to find arrangements, we can accommodate your
dogs by housing them in our garage with bowls of fresh water. (I
might add something here about planning to stay after to clean
up their waste.)
I'm a touch worried that the family's child/ pet minder might be
being pressured not to come to the party. If you think they
might try to get the person to stay in your garage with the
animals, don't mention the garage and water.
#Post#: 76356--------------------------------------------------
Re: No Dogs Allowed
By: LurkingGurl Date: July 14, 2022, 4:24 pm
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Are you footing the bill for the whole weekend for everyone?
#Post#: 76365--------------------------------------------------
Re: No Dogs Allowed
By: JeanFromBNA Date: July 15, 2022, 1:00 pm
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[quote author=Mary Sunshine Rain
link=topic=2370.msg76356#msg76356 date=1657833846]
Are you footing the bill for the whole weekend for everyone?
[/quote]
Yes. Not including offsite hotels and offsite food.
#Post#: 76366--------------------------------------------------
Re: No Dogs Allowed
By: sms Date: July 15, 2022, 1:34 pm
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Errg. Some people have a real blind spot when it comes to
their dogs and either don't see or don't care that dogs can be a
disruptive nuisance.
I don't mind well behaved dogs but I hate jumping and barking
and begging. And call me prissy or vain but I don't want my
clothes dirty and smelly.
Jem worded it perfectly - polite but very clear and now it will
need to be enforced. Can't say they weren't warned.
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