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#Post#: 76193--------------------------------------------------
Screen touching
By: NFPwife Date: July 5, 2022, 7:52 pm
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Here's my question - is it rude to tell a passenger who gets in
your car not to touch the tech, particularly a screen? (Also,
have you ever had a passenger start fiddling around and had to
stop them?)
Here's the scenario-
A friend took an elderly relative to an appointment today and
just told me about the trip. Great Auntie, still drives but
doesn't like to drive in the city so friend volunteered. Friend
and I both have fairly large screens that we use for navigation,
climate control, information about the car's performance, etc.
(We have different cars, my screen is 10" - hers seems larger.)
Her screen is built in to the center of the dash. I've ridden in
her car many times and she'll occasionally ask me to change
something (audio input, navigation, climate) and the tech is
similar but a touch unfamiliar (think switching between iOS and
Android) I never touch the screen unless she's specifically
asked me to do something.
During the trip to the city, Great Auntie was really interested
in how the car was navigating and that it was showing the
businesses that were nearby, "Oh look! A McDonald's!" The
estimated arrival time was on the lower left of the screen.
Great Auntie saw that and said, "Is that the time!" and before
friend could say "It's the arrival time" Auntie had already
touched the screen and managed to stop the navigation. In heavy
traffic. Auntie had touched so many things so fast that friend
couldn't get back to the navigation easily. She tried to get
Great Auntie to accept as passenger and then go to recents to
get the location but said that was more distracting. Friend knew
the highway exit they needed and then waited until they were at
a long light to get the navigation going again. Auntie kept
saying, "Oh my! Did I do that? I'm so sorry."
Friend said, "I never thought I'd have to say, 'Look but don't
touch' to her, but now she's getting reminded anytime she's in
the car."
I thought it was common knowledge that you don't touch the
controls in someone's car, now I'm thinking DH and I have a
couple potential passengers who need warned also. Anyone with a
similar experience or a way you tell people not to mess with the
controls?
#Post#: 76197--------------------------------------------------
Re: Screen touching
By: lakey Date: July 5, 2022, 9:43 pm
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I agree that you shouldn't touch a driver's controls in their
car. However, great aunt may be less familiar with a touch
screen and not have understood that she was making changes. It's
fine to remind a passenger who is unfamiliar with this
technology to not to touch the screen. We forget that not
everyone has cars with touch screens.
#Post#: 76199--------------------------------------------------
Re: Screen touching
By: NFPwife Date: July 5, 2022, 10:16 pm
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I think Great Auntie was also stressed about being late, and the
appointment in general so she might have refrained in any other
circumstance.
(The appointment went better than expected and I think this will
be a funny story before long.)
#Post#: 76201--------------------------------------------------
Re: Screen touching
By: Aleko Date: July 6, 2022, 1:28 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Sadly, it’s also possible that Auntie is somewhere on the long
shallow slope to second childhood and does indeed need to be
told, like a small child, not to prod anything interesting she
sees.
(My MIL is now well down that slope, but one of the earliest
symptoms of her decline was that when I took her to the
supermarket, in the soft fruit aisle she’d pick up a punnet of
raspberries, which she likes very much, and instantly give them
a good hard shake. Or in the meat aisle, when contemplating
buying a film-wrapped piece of steak or duck breast, she’d pick
it up and push indentations into it hard with her thumbs. I
quickly got used to buying everything she had picked up, she
would mistreat it so.)
#Post#: 76203--------------------------------------------------
Re: Screen touching
By: shadowfox79 Date: July 6, 2022, 2:35 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=2368.msg76201#msg76201
date=1657088909]
Sadly, it’s also possible that Auntie is somewhere on the long
shallow slope to second childhood and does indeed need to be
told, like a small child, not to prod anything interesting she
sees.
(My MIL is now well down that slope, but one of the earliest
symptoms of her decline was that when I took her to the
supermarket, in the soft fruit aisle she’d pick up a punnet of
raspberries, which she likes very much, and instantly give them
a good hard shake. Or in the meat aisle, when contemplating
buying a film-wrapped piece of steak or duck breast, she’d pick
it up and push indentations into it hard with her thumbs. I
quickly got used to buying everything she had picked up, she
would mistreat it so.)
[/quote]
I was thinking that as soon as I read it. My mother died of
cancer before she could get too far down that slope, but I can
still remember being in a cab with her and her thinking it was
hilarious to start messing with the door handle as though she
was going to fling it open into oncoming traffic. Fortunately
the driver had a child-lock he could activate from the front
seat, because I'm convinced she would have done it eventually.
#Post#: 76204--------------------------------------------------
Re: Screen touching
By: DaDancingPsych Date: July 6, 2022, 6:28 am
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In general, yes, the passenger should not mess with the driver's
tech for the very reason demonstrated in the story. The driver
is the boss and they get to invite (or not) the passenger to
work the tech.
For me passengers fall into one of two categories. Co-pilots are
able and expected to assist with navigation, entertainment, and
comfort control. To receive this privilege, the person must be
able to assist with watching the road for exits and
destinations, as well as be able to control the tech with a
certain level of ability. Basically, they should be able to
assist the driver. This status is issued by the driver and
should not be anticipated. (In other words, don't touch the
screen unless you are invited.)
The other sort of passenger... I need a name for! ;D They are
just a passenger and not able to assist in most useful ways.
Typically their lack of skills in working the touch screen would
mean that they would not be invited to touch it. However, it may
be their lack of general knowledge and common sense that
prevents them an upgrade in status and may even require the
driver to "correct" or even remind their behavior with a "please
don't touch the screen".
It sounds like Great Auntie was not familiar with touchscreens
and would not be a good candidate for co-pilot status. It sounds
like she may have been so unfamiliar that she did not realize
the issues that she was causing. It may be necessary to speak up
and remind her to keep her fingers to herself. Although, I get
it. When I see something new and fancy, I wanna play, too!!! I
do think that this is a safety issue, so instructions to not
touch would be perfectly polite in my book.
#Post#: 76206--------------------------------------------------
Re: Screen touching
By: sandisadie Date: July 6, 2022, 10:02 am
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I haven't even thought about this issue. Thanks for bringing it
into our forum. My vehicle is old enough that I don't even have
a nav. system. I can see that someone like this "auntie" might
put out a hand and touch this screen without a thought that she
is going to mess up something. I think most people know not to
mess with the radio or heat controls in another person's vehicle
unless invited to do so, but might not be acquainted with these
screens enough to realize they are part of the nav. system.
As an aside - I can remember being alone and holding a ziplock
bag for the first time. I didn't understand how to get it open
so I just ripped off the top as best as I could. Then I noticed
the little ridge and took it apart and had a laugh. I remember
thinking I was glad to have been by myself!
#Post#: 76209--------------------------------------------------
Re: Screen touching
By: Aleko Date: July 6, 2022, 11:54 am
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[quote]I can see that someone like this "auntie" might put out a
hand and touch this screen without a thought that she is going
to mess up something. I think most people know not to mess with
the radio or heat controls in another person's vehicle unless
invited to do so, but might not be acquainted with these screens
enough to realize they are part of the nav. system.[/quote]
But even if these weren't part of the system and important to
driving safely, they are still part of the way the owner/driver
has chosen to set up their vehicle so that it is the most
comfortable and convenient for them, and a passenger shouldn't
go ahead and tinker with the driver's settings without
permission, any more than a guest should tinker with their
host's home. It is rude.
And there is actually also a safety aspect to a passenger's
altering even the most trivial settings without asking the
driver. A car's radio is hardly part of its safety system: but I
used to have to give lifts to someone who was unshakably
convinced that abruptly switching off the radio without warning
just as I entered a complex junction would help me concentrate
on negotiating it. In fact, of course, it did the exact
opposite: the sudden silence would make me go 'Eh? What happened
to the music?'at the very moment I should have been giving all
my attention to driving. Happily it never went near causing an
accident but it really bothered me; and even after I finally
made her cut it out by threats of never giving her a lift again,
just knowing that she was a person who would take it on herself
to pull stunts like that made me tense whenever she was in the
passenger seat.
IMO the driver may, and should, tell a passenger, pleasantly but
firmly, not to touch any screens/buttons/controls of any kind
without getting permission and giving advance warning. And the
passenger should take care not to be that kind of person!
#Post#: 76212--------------------------------------------------
Re: Screen touching
By: BeagleMommy Date: July 6, 2022, 2:20 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I have a feeling Auntie was just fascinated by the technology
and didn't realize she was turning off the navigation system.
Next time you take her somewhere, gently remind her that she
can't touch the screen or you won't be able to find where you
are going.
If she touches the screen again, on the next trip she sits in
the back.
#Post#: 76217--------------------------------------------------
Re: Screen touching
By: NFPwife Date: July 6, 2022, 3:22 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Aleko link=topic=2368.msg76201#msg76201
date=1657088909]
Sadly, it’s also possible that Auntie is somewhere on the long
shallow slope to second childhood and does indeed need to be
told, like a small child, not to prod anything interesting she
sees.
(My MIL is now well down that slope, but one of the earliest
symptoms of her decline was that when I took her to the
supermarket, in the soft fruit aisle she’d pick up a punnet of
raspberries, which she likes very much, and instantly give them
a good hard shake. Or in the meat aisle, when contemplating
buying a film-wrapped piece of steak or duck breast, she’d pick
it up and push indentations into it hard with her thumbs. I
quickly got used to buying everything she had picked up, she
would mistreat it so.)
[/quote]
This is a good point. I'm going to pass that along to friend.
Friend thought it was about worrying about being late, but it
might be an early symptom of cognitive decline.
[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=2368.msg76204#msg76204
date=1657106896]
In general, yes, the passenger should not mess with the driver's
tech for the very reason demonstrated in the story. The driver
is the boss and they get to invite (or not) the passenger to
work the tech.
For me passengers fall into one of two categories. Co-pilots are
able and expected to assist with navigation, entertainment, and
comfort control. To receive this privilege, the person must be
able to assist with watching the road for exits and
destinations, as well as be able to control the tech with a
certain level of ability. Basically, they should be able to
assist the driver. This status is issued by the driver and
should not be anticipated. (In other words, don't touch the
screen unless you are invited.)
The other sort of passenger... I need a name for! ;D They are
just a passenger and not able to assist in most useful ways.
Typically their lack of skills in working the touch screen would
mean that they would not be invited to touch it. However, it may
be their lack of general knowledge and common sense that
prevents them an upgrade in status and may even require the
driver to "correct" or even remind their behavior with a "please
don't touch the screen".
It sounds like Great Auntie was not familiar with touchscreens
and would not be a good candidate for co-pilot status. It sounds
like she may have been so unfamiliar that she did not realize
the issues that she was causing. It may be necessary to speak up
and remind her to keep her fingers to herself. Although, I get
it. When I see something new and fancy, I wanna play, too!!! I
do think that this is a safety issue, so instructions to not
touch would be perfectly polite in my book.
[/quote]
I love the way you conceptualize the difference between co-pilot
and passenger. I've chosen one friend who is a far better
co-pilot to ride shot gun and relegated (ironically) this exact
friend to the backseat.
[quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=2368.msg76212#msg76212
date=1657135241]
I have a feeling Auntie was just fascinated by the technology
and didn't realize she was turning off the navigation system.
Next time you take her somewhere, gently remind her that she
can't touch the screen or you won't be able to find where you
are going.
If she touches the screen again, on the next trip she sits in
the back.
[/quote]
If this is a symptom of a mental decline it might have to come
to sitting in the back. Again, friend and I chalked it up to
anxiety and didn't think about anything else. But if it happens
again, the back seat is the safest place for Auntie.
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