URI:
   DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Bad Manners and Brimstone
  HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       *****************************************************
   DIR Return to: Life in General
       *****************************************************
       #Post#: 75738--------------------------------------------------
       How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Admins 
       and Mods for forum members? 
       By: Victoria Date: June 2, 2022, 10:04 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I'm Admin of an internet forum that I grew exponentially for a
       year and a half. When I took over for the old Admin, I ramped up
       membership exponentially through networking and making massive
       improvements to the board, so now we have a large member base
       and also occasionally meet up in person. In April 2022, I
       brought in Tony as a Moderator. I was still training him when in
       May I was abruptly hospitalized for 2 weeks.
       In those 2 weeks he was also gone (citing "being busy"), but
       came back a couple of days before I did, brought in other mods,
       and made massive changes to the rules, the graphics, the layout
       of the board, etc. Before I contacted him he also made a post
       addressing the board, saying he had no idea where I was, and
       apologized for my absence while saying nothing of his own and
       told the whole board he couldn't get in touch with me. I told
       him I was ill but about to come back. I also let him know that I
       wasn't looking to have a group of Admins, I was looking for
       moderators under me, and that I wouldn't commit to keeping his
       changes or any of his new moderators. He said he understood but
       didn't seem happy, and I was then hospitalized for another
       several days.
       I've been lurking for the past two days and trying to wrap my
       head around the changes. He and the other mods have apparently
       forgotten that I can read everything they're saying in the
       moderators-only section of the forum, and have been
       passive-aggressively shit-talking me amongst themselves-the
       rules are dumb, too strict, too lax, they would have done the
       graphics totally differently, why'd Victoria just "disappear,"
       why didn't Victoria do this thing sooner, etc. Tony hasn't
       informed them that I wanted to make final decisions on any of
       their changes. He's made a couple of public posts to the members
       about new changes on the forum as well, and the next meetup is
       tentatively planned for August so I need to figure something out
       before then.
       I want them gone and could simply delete their accounts and ban
       them, but I don't know how to frame that for the other members
       online or in person because they're definitely going to notice.
       My thought is that I should boot and ban Tony and send a
       boilerplate "Thanks for being here but your services are not
       required" message to the moderators, and then issue some sort of
       statement to the members of the board, but I'm not entirely sure
       what to do or what to say in person. I'd welcome your opinions
       on this and what you would like to read (if anything) as a forum
       member if something like this happened at a forum you were on,
       and what you'd like to hear in person.
       #Post#: 75739--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
       ins and Mods for forum members? 
       By: NewHomeowner Date: June 3, 2022, 4:43 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Well, I have zero experience in this, but I do have an opinion.
       Boot them.  Boot them all.  If the other members mention it,
       just say that 'it wasn't working out'.   You can bet that if
       they were ****-talking you behind your back, they were
       ****-talking about you to other members as well.  So the ones in
       the know, will know.  The others won't care.
       Then find some other moderators who can act like adults and not
       high school mean girls. \
       What is this forum about?
       #Post#: 75740--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
       ins and Mods for forum members? 
       By: Isisnin Date: June 3, 2022, 11:15 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Will the members really notice and want to know what happened?
       Any forum I've been a member of just pins a "looking for
       moderators" post without any explanation of why new ones are
       needed. And if you get any questions about why, "just not
       working out" is best. Applicants to be a moderator might ask
       questions as they might want to know what they are getting into
       and answers to that would be similar to what you can tell
       members at the met up.
       Probably respond to any questions talking about going forward
       rather then backward. "While we have to have some rules (e.g. no
       offensive posts) we're a board of easy going, free flowing posts
       and comments.".
       I haven't moderated on such a board, maybe others have better
       "moving forward" comments to make.
       #Post#: 75741--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
       ins and Mods for forum members? 
       By: lowspark Date: June 3, 2022, 2:06 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Yup. Go ahead and delete and ban.
       1. You are the admin. That's reason enough.
       2. Tony did a bunch of things behind your back.
       3. Tony lied about you.
       4. Tony and his buddies are trash talking you and making no
       secret about it.
       I'm not sure what more incentive you need to ditch these folks
       and regain control.
       #Post#: 75742--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
       ins and Mods for forum members? 
       By: Judecat Date: June 3, 2022, 2:38 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I've never been Admin in any forum,  but I have been a moderator
       in one or two. or  And unless you want to be demoted or banned
       from your own group,  you need to get in there and revoke
       Tony's,  and his friends' admin credentials before they figure
       out how to demote or ban you.  Then you thank them for their
       help while you were dealing with illness and hospitalization,
       and when you decide to get a new moderator, you give them enough
       power to moderate,  and not enough to stage a mutiny.  In the
       forums I've been a member of the moderators have just enough
       credentials, permissions, or powers to do their particular job,
       but not the ability to make Admins or change the rules.
       Change the rule back to what you want them to be.
       Then publically thank Tony for his help while you were away,
       and thank the members for their patience.  Do not bad mouth
       anyone publically.  That is the number one way I have seen
       forums and groups loose members.
       #Post#: 75743--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
       ins and Mods for forum members? 
       By: Judecat Date: June 3, 2022, 2:40 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I've never been Admin in any forum,  but I have been a moderator
       in one or two. or  And unless you want to be demoted or banned
       from your own group,  you need to get in there and revoke
       Tony's,  and his friends' admin credentials before they figure
       out how to demote or ban you.  Then you thank them for their
       help while you were dealing with illness and hospitalization,
       and when you decide to get a new moderator, you give them enough
       power to moderate,  and not enough to stage a mutiny.  In the
       forums I've been a member of the moderators have just enough
       credentials, permissions, or powers to do their particular job,
       but not the ability to make Admins or change the rules.
       Change the rule back to what you want them to be.
       Then publically thank Tony for his help while you were away,
       and thank the members for their patience.  Do not bad mouth
       anyone publically.  That is the number one way I have seen
       forums and groups loose members.
       #Post#: 75746--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
       ins and Mods for forum members? 
       By: LifeOnPluto Date: June 4, 2022, 2:32 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Urg, I'm so sorry this happened to you!
       I've never been an Admin or Moderator, so you can take this with
       a grain of salt. But I completely agree with posters who
       recommend to immediately ban Tony (and any of the other Mods who
       were trash-talking / making unauthorised changes). I'd be
       tempted to follow up with a short explanation to Tony. Eg: "You
       made a large number of substantial and unauthorised changes to
       the forums while I was absent. This fell far outside the scope
       of the role we agreed you would have. I also note your comments
       in the Moderators-only section, expressing your dissatisfaction
       with these forums, and with the decisions I have made to date.
       Given this, it makes sense for us to part ways now. Thank you
       for your service to [insert name of forums] and I wish you all
       the best."
       As for whether to send a public message to the members, what is
       the mood like? Are people complaining about the changes, or
       speculating about what's going on? If so, I'd be tempted to post
       a short public statement. You don't need to badmouth Tony -
       maybe just something like: "Dear Members, recently I have been
       away dealing with some unexpected health issues. As you will
       have noticed, there have been several stylistic and
       rules-related changes to these forums. These changes were
       implemented in good faith by the then-Moderating Team in my
       absence. However, having now had the opportunity to consider,
       I've made the decision to roll a number of these changes back. I
       thank all members for their patience during this time, and I
       apologise for any confusion or inconvenience".
       I know as a member of forums, I really appreciate transparency
       from the people in charge, and certainly wouldn't think less of
       any Admin who took the time to explain what was going on!
       #Post#: 75747--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
       ins and Mods for forum members? 
       By: DaDancingPsych Date: June 4, 2022, 5:31 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I've always been on the member side of things, so I am trying to
       imagine how I would want to see things handled. I'm sure the
       abrupt changes were noticed even if the backstory was unknown,
       so I think I would want that addressed. I think something as
       simple as "I am sorry for my absence, I have had some health
       issues that placed me in the hospital. While I am working to
       improve my condition, I appreciate everyone's patience." I would
       not want a detailed account of your life, but just some
       perspective of what happened and some reassurance. However, you
       only need to share what you are comfortable with.
       Then I agree with the others, that you need to simply cut those
       who didn't support your imagine for the site. There's nothing
       wrong with a difference in opinion and maybe the changes that
       they brought had value, but it wasn't what you envisioned for
       the site. (And I have no doubt that you did not envision
       mutiny.) So cut them loose and let them go about their merry
       way. Your site wasn't the right place for them. If anyone
       questions what has happened, I agree with the "it didn't work
       out" line.
       Then (and here's what I would want) focus your attention on the
       "rebranding" of the site. Show me the direction, the vibe, the
       focus that you do want things to go. This allows me to
       understand what it is that you are offering and if it is what I
       want to participate in. Being that this was what you were
       originally doing, I would guess that most members will be
       excited to have the original take back.
       When I participate in an online forum, I am there for the topic
       at hand. I am really not interested in all the drama. Basically,
       I would want to know that the reigns are back in your hands and
       that I should anticipate things returning to normal. So I would
       take the quickest road to reaching that.
       #Post#: 75748--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
       ins and Mods for forum members? 
       By: Aleko Date: June 4, 2022, 6:07 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote]When I participate in an online forum, I am there for the
       topic at hand. I am really not interested in all the
       drama.[/quote]
       Personally I’d put it even more strongly than that: I’d actively
       not want to hear about it. I’ve resigned from societies for
       subjects I was really interested in when they degenerated into
       feuding: I reckoned I already encountered enough quarrelling and
       backbiting in my working and family life and didn’t want to
       subject myself to more of it in my leisure interests.
       #Post#: 75763--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
       ins and Mods for forum members? 
       By: Hmmm Date: June 6, 2022, 9:32 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I like Life on Pluto's approach. Agree about immediately
       removing Tony as a moderator and all of the others that he
       brought in.
       *****************************************************
   DIR Next Page