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#Post#: 75738--------------------------------------------------
How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Admins
and Mods for forum members?
By: Victoria Date: June 2, 2022, 10:04 pm
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I'm Admin of an internet forum that I grew exponentially for a
year and a half. When I took over for the old Admin, I ramped up
membership exponentially through networking and making massive
improvements to the board, so now we have a large member base
and also occasionally meet up in person. In April 2022, I
brought in Tony as a Moderator. I was still training him when in
May I was abruptly hospitalized for 2 weeks.
In those 2 weeks he was also gone (citing "being busy"), but
came back a couple of days before I did, brought in other mods,
and made massive changes to the rules, the graphics, the layout
of the board, etc. Before I contacted him he also made a post
addressing the board, saying he had no idea where I was, and
apologized for my absence while saying nothing of his own and
told the whole board he couldn't get in touch with me. I told
him I was ill but about to come back. I also let him know that I
wasn't looking to have a group of Admins, I was looking for
moderators under me, and that I wouldn't commit to keeping his
changes or any of his new moderators. He said he understood but
didn't seem happy, and I was then hospitalized for another
several days.
I've been lurking for the past two days and trying to wrap my
head around the changes. He and the other mods have apparently
forgotten that I can read everything they're saying in the
moderators-only section of the forum, and have been
passive-aggressively shit-talking me amongst themselves-the
rules are dumb, too strict, too lax, they would have done the
graphics totally differently, why'd Victoria just "disappear,"
why didn't Victoria do this thing sooner, etc. Tony hasn't
informed them that I wanted to make final decisions on any of
their changes. He's made a couple of public posts to the members
about new changes on the forum as well, and the next meetup is
tentatively planned for August so I need to figure something out
before then.
I want them gone and could simply delete their accounts and ban
them, but I don't know how to frame that for the other members
online or in person because they're definitely going to notice.
My thought is that I should boot and ban Tony and send a
boilerplate "Thanks for being here but your services are not
required" message to the moderators, and then issue some sort of
statement to the members of the board, but I'm not entirely sure
what to do or what to say in person. I'd welcome your opinions
on this and what you would like to read (if anything) as a forum
member if something like this happened at a forum you were on,
and what you'd like to hear in person.
#Post#: 75739--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
ins and Mods for forum members?
By: NewHomeowner Date: June 3, 2022, 4:43 am
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Well, I have zero experience in this, but I do have an opinion.
Boot them. Boot them all. If the other members mention it,
just say that 'it wasn't working out'. You can bet that if
they were ****-talking you behind your back, they were
****-talking about you to other members as well. So the ones in
the know, will know. The others won't care.
Then find some other moderators who can act like adults and not
high school mean girls. \
What is this forum about?
#Post#: 75740--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
ins and Mods for forum members?
By: Isisnin Date: June 3, 2022, 11:15 am
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Will the members really notice and want to know what happened?
Any forum I've been a member of just pins a "looking for
moderators" post without any explanation of why new ones are
needed. And if you get any questions about why, "just not
working out" is best. Applicants to be a moderator might ask
questions as they might want to know what they are getting into
and answers to that would be similar to what you can tell
members at the met up.
Probably respond to any questions talking about going forward
rather then backward. "While we have to have some rules (e.g. no
offensive posts) we're a board of easy going, free flowing posts
and comments.".
I haven't moderated on such a board, maybe others have better
"moving forward" comments to make.
#Post#: 75741--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
ins and Mods for forum members?
By: lowspark Date: June 3, 2022, 2:06 pm
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Yup. Go ahead and delete and ban.
1. You are the admin. That's reason enough.
2. Tony did a bunch of things behind your back.
3. Tony lied about you.
4. Tony and his buddies are trash talking you and making no
secret about it.
I'm not sure what more incentive you need to ditch these folks
and regain control.
#Post#: 75742--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
ins and Mods for forum members?
By: Judecat Date: June 3, 2022, 2:38 pm
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I've never been Admin in any forum, but I have been a moderator
in one or two. or And unless you want to be demoted or banned
from your own group, you need to get in there and revoke
Tony's, and his friends' admin credentials before they figure
out how to demote or ban you. Then you thank them for their
help while you were dealing with illness and hospitalization,
and when you decide to get a new moderator, you give them enough
power to moderate, and not enough to stage a mutiny. In the
forums I've been a member of the moderators have just enough
credentials, permissions, or powers to do their particular job,
but not the ability to make Admins or change the rules.
Change the rule back to what you want them to be.
Then publically thank Tony for his help while you were away,
and thank the members for their patience. Do not bad mouth
anyone publically. That is the number one way I have seen
forums and groups loose members.
#Post#: 75743--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
ins and Mods for forum members?
By: Judecat Date: June 3, 2022, 2:40 pm
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I've never been Admin in any forum, but I have been a moderator
in one or two. or And unless you want to be demoted or banned
from your own group, you need to get in there and revoke
Tony's, and his friends' admin credentials before they figure
out how to demote or ban you. Then you thank them for their
help while you were dealing with illness and hospitalization,
and when you decide to get a new moderator, you give them enough
power to moderate, and not enough to stage a mutiny. In the
forums I've been a member of the moderators have just enough
credentials, permissions, or powers to do their particular job,
but not the ability to make Admins or change the rules.
Change the rule back to what you want them to be.
Then publically thank Tony for his help while you were away,
and thank the members for their patience. Do not bad mouth
anyone publically. That is the number one way I have seen
forums and groups loose members.
#Post#: 75746--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
ins and Mods for forum members?
By: LifeOnPluto Date: June 4, 2022, 2:32 am
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Urg, I'm so sorry this happened to you!
I've never been an Admin or Moderator, so you can take this with
a grain of salt. But I completely agree with posters who
recommend to immediately ban Tony (and any of the other Mods who
were trash-talking / making unauthorised changes). I'd be
tempted to follow up with a short explanation to Tony. Eg: "You
made a large number of substantial and unauthorised changes to
the forums while I was absent. This fell far outside the scope
of the role we agreed you would have. I also note your comments
in the Moderators-only section, expressing your dissatisfaction
with these forums, and with the decisions I have made to date.
Given this, it makes sense for us to part ways now. Thank you
for your service to [insert name of forums] and I wish you all
the best."
As for whether to send a public message to the members, what is
the mood like? Are people complaining about the changes, or
speculating about what's going on? If so, I'd be tempted to post
a short public statement. You don't need to badmouth Tony -
maybe just something like: "Dear Members, recently I have been
away dealing with some unexpected health issues. As you will
have noticed, there have been several stylistic and
rules-related changes to these forums. These changes were
implemented in good faith by the then-Moderating Team in my
absence. However, having now had the opportunity to consider,
I've made the decision to roll a number of these changes back. I
thank all members for their patience during this time, and I
apologise for any confusion or inconvenience".
I know as a member of forums, I really appreciate transparency
from the people in charge, and certainly wouldn't think less of
any Admin who took the time to explain what was going on!
#Post#: 75747--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
ins and Mods for forum members?
By: DaDancingPsych Date: June 4, 2022, 5:31 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I've always been on the member side of things, so I am trying to
imagine how I would want to see things handled. I'm sure the
abrupt changes were noticed even if the backstory was unknown,
so I think I would want that addressed. I think something as
simple as "I am sorry for my absence, I have had some health
issues that placed me in the hospital. While I am working to
improve my condition, I appreciate everyone's patience." I would
not want a detailed account of your life, but just some
perspective of what happened and some reassurance. However, you
only need to share what you are comfortable with.
Then I agree with the others, that you need to simply cut those
who didn't support your imagine for the site. There's nothing
wrong with a difference in opinion and maybe the changes that
they brought had value, but it wasn't what you envisioned for
the site. (And I have no doubt that you did not envision
mutiny.) So cut them loose and let them go about their merry
way. Your site wasn't the right place for them. If anyone
questions what has happened, I agree with the "it didn't work
out" line.
Then (and here's what I would want) focus your attention on the
"rebranding" of the site. Show me the direction, the vibe, the
focus that you do want things to go. This allows me to
understand what it is that you are offering and if it is what I
want to participate in. Being that this was what you were
originally doing, I would guess that most members will be
excited to have the original take back.
When I participate in an online forum, I am there for the topic
at hand. I am really not interested in all the drama. Basically,
I would want to know that the reigns are back in your hands and
that I should anticipate things returning to normal. So I would
take the quickest road to reaching that.
#Post#: 75748--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
ins and Mods for forum members?
By: Aleko Date: June 4, 2022, 6:07 am
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[quote]When I participate in an online forum, I am there for the
topic at hand. I am really not interested in all the
drama.[/quote]
Personally I’d put it even more strongly than that: I’d actively
not want to hear about it. I’ve resigned from societies for
subjects I was really interested in when they degenerated into
feuding: I reckoned I already encountered enough quarrelling and
backbiting in my working and family life and didn’t want to
subject myself to more of it in my leisure interests.
#Post#: 75763--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I phrase internet and interpersonal drama between Adm
ins and Mods for forum members?
By: Hmmm Date: June 6, 2022, 9:32 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I like Life on Pluto's approach. Agree about immediately
removing Tony as a moderator and all of the others that he
brought in.
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