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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 75494--------------------------------------------------
Turning down a babysitter
By: Bada Date: May 17, 2022, 8:32 am
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I just signed up to one of those websites where you pay to find
a babysitter. I post a job, sitters reply and you can chat to
see if the job is a good fit.
A young woman applied (Jane). She has relatively little
experience: 1 year of babysitting, 2 years as a special needs
caregiver (no other details), has completed "some high school"
(she looks young and might still be in HS). But her rates are
very high despite her lack of credentials. The going rate here
for two kids is around $20 per hour. She's asking for $28.
(There's a very experienced older woman who applied and only
asked for $16, which is oddly low. I pay our current baby sitter
$20, but she can't do weekdays this summer. Others have applied
this summer for $20, and they have years of experience and
college diplomas or are working on advanced degrees, so I know
this is the norm, not Jane's rate.)
I was agonizing over a polite response and thought this might be
a good low stakes etiquette question to ask here.
Do you think she knows her price is really high? Would you tell
her something about it? Would you say something about
understanding her time is valuable and since that's more than
you've budgeted you will be looking at other candidates? What
I mean by that is I don't want to negotiate her down, since
maybe that's what she needs per hour to make ends meet, but I'm
not willing to pay that.
I'd welcome suggested wording for a short email!
#Post#: 75499--------------------------------------------------
Re: Turning down a babysitter
By: Hmmm Date: May 17, 2022, 10:05 am
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I think I'd normally go with just a "Thank you for contacting
us. We have decided to utilize a different provider. Good luck
in your search."
I don't think I'd necessarily comment on her rate because it
doesn't sound like you'd select her even if it was in line with
others in your area because of her lack of experience. If you
say her rate is out of your planned budget then she might
respond with lowering the rate and then you'd get into a
discussion about her lack of qualifications.
While I normally like to provide feedback to assist others, even
strangers, I think in this case I'd let it go.
#Post#: 75504--------------------------------------------------
Re: Turning down a babysitter
By: Rose Red Date: May 17, 2022, 11:21 am
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What Hmmm said. Don't talk about rates unless you are willing to
hire her if she lower her rate. Who knows? Maybe she has clients
who pay that much.
#Post#: 75515--------------------------------------------------
Re: Turning down a babysitter
By: jpcher Date: May 17, 2022, 5:56 pm
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I agree with Hmmm.
However, maybe if you're interested in face-on-face interviews
and might like her for the job, then maybe say something like
"I'm offering $X per hour. Are you still interested in the job?"
Personally? I'd interview the "very experienced older woman"
before interviewing a younger someone that doesn't have very
much experience.
#Post#: 75526--------------------------------------------------
Re: Turning down a babysitter
By: Contrarian Date: May 18, 2022, 3:44 pm
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This may seem odd but I would completely de-personalize this.
I would write a response that sounds like a group response, even
if it can’t be sent to a group.
Since you will choose one, and potentially not chose more than
one, I would write:
“We would like to thank all those who have shown interest in
this position, however the position has been filled”.
Or “a candidate has been chosen.
You could add “after careful consideration”, or even, we will
repost should anything change.
But I would just leave it at that. I know it seems odd if you’re
“chatting” to them one on one, but I think it says it all and
one would just think you copied and pasted a response to a few
people.
It may not work considering how much conversation you’ve had.
#Post#: 75530--------------------------------------------------
Re: Turning down a babysitter
By: NFPwife Date: May 18, 2022, 5:47 pm
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I appreciate your wanting to provide feedback to the young woman
to help her with her burgeoning babysitting business. I have
that "I just want to help everyone" mentality and here's
something that has been beneficial to me. I say to myself "I'm
not the QA department of the world, I do enough QA at work," and
move on. Or "I'm not the (X,Y,Z) police." It really helps. And
who knows? Maybe this young person has herself priced at that
rate and is getting fewer call outs but for a higher rate. Good
for her!
I notice you weren't considering contacting the older woman to
tell her she's under selling her experience and services.
Personally, if I were to open my "QA department of the world"
agency, she's the one I'd contact. Or I'd offer her the $20.
Others have given you wording for telling the young woman you're
going in another direction. I'm suggesting that you examine your
tendency and biases. (Oops, there I go again!)
#Post#: 75535--------------------------------------------------
Re: Turning down a babysitter
By: Bada Date: May 18, 2022, 11:16 pm
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I did ultimately contact her with one of the generic responses
suggested here. I know she's new to the platform, but I hope she
gets some jobs.
I contacted a provider initially, Amy, because she has interests
in an area one of my kids is very interested in. She was another
one at $20, but I'm willing to pay extra for that knowledge. She
thought she wasn't available, so I contacted the older woman,
Olivia. Turns out she read my (very clear) post wrong and she is
looking for a long term position whereas I'm only looking for a
summer helper. Then Amy became available again, so all's well
that ends well I guess.
Othdr thoughts: I wouldn't have told Olivia that I thought she
was underpriced, though I probably would have told a younger
person. I guess I figure that if you're 50 (60?) you know how
much to charge for babysitting. Frankly I was worried she was
charging less because she feared she couldn't keep up. But my
husband said he'd been on a different app and $16 an hour was
actually the going rate there. So she just might have been
working with the other app more or something.
Thanks for your thoughts folks!
#Post#: 75648--------------------------------------------------
Re: Turning down a babysitter
By: DaDancingPsych Date: May 26, 2022, 8:30 am
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I am so glad that it worked out well for you. It sounds like Amy
will be a great sitter for your family!
I just wanted to pipe up to say that someone's age doesn't
necessarily mean that they don't know that they are underpaid.
Maybe the person is making a career pivot. Maybe the person is a
first time user of that app/website. Maybe the person feels that
since they are missing a certain skill that they should
undervalue themselves (when they shouldn't.) Maybe they haven't
changed their rates in a number of years (and really should). I
still think that they you get to decide if you want to provide
feedback (or not), but I don't think that I would assume that
someone older necessary knows their value.
#Post#: 75667--------------------------------------------------
Re: Turning down a babysitter
By: NFPwife Date: May 26, 2022, 6:58 pm
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[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=2349.msg75648#msg75648
date=1653571846]
I am so glad that it worked out well for you. It sounds like Amy
will be a great sitter for your family!
I just wanted to pipe up to say that someone's age doesn't
necessarily mean that they don't know that they are underpaid.
Maybe the person is making a career pivot. Maybe the person is a
first time user of that app/website. Maybe the person feels that
since they are missing a certain skill that they should
undervalue themselves (when they shouldn't.) Maybe they haven't
changed their rates in a number of years (and really should). I
still think that they you get to decide if you want to provide
feedback (or not), but I don't think that I would assume that
someone older necessary knows their value.
[/quote]
Amy sounds like the right fit for your family.
To build off DaDancingPysch, I wouldn't assume someone younger
is full of hubris and doesn't understand how to price
themselves. I also saw a theme that the older person would be
wiser in general, which is why I suggested checking your biases.
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