DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Life in General
*****************************************************
#Post#: 75084--------------------------------------------------
Re: Blowing Off The Plans
By: DaDancingPsych Date: April 25, 2022, 9:09 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I do think that they want to see the shows. They are
knowledgeable about the productions and will discuss them in
detail. Maria seems much more into the shows, but I honestly
don't doubt Sandy's enjoyment, either. I don't think it's the
activity causing the issues. I have seen these behaviors during
other sorts of outings, too. Mainly due the pandemic, this is
the only type of outing that the three of us are doing together.
I have considered speaking to Maria directly. The last time that
Sandy flaked and no showed, I suggested to Maria that if Sandy
didn't want to invest in all the shows that I would not be
offended if we added her to the shows that she did want to
attend. However, this was prior to the carpooling and this most
recent incident. We only have one more show in this season and
then will have several month break. The package has already
renewed for next year. Had this happened prior to renewal
deadline, I am not sure if it would have changed my decision to
renew. Either way, I am committed for next season and if more
incidents of trying to change the plans last minute happen, then
I do think it would be best to address it directly.
#Post#: 75088--------------------------------------------------
Re: Blowing Off The Plans
By: BeagleMommy Date: April 25, 2022, 10:33 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Maria and Sandy were rude to all involved.
They were rude to you first by not inviting you to dinner (even
if you declined), then by texting 5 minutes before curtain to
tell you they wanted to go elsewhere.
They were rude to the audience by arriving 15 minutes after
curtain to take their seats (did people have to move to let them
in?).
They were rude to the performers. This type of late arrival can
be very distracting to the performers.
#Post#: 75126--------------------------------------------------
Re: Blowing Off The Plans
By: DaDancingPsych Date: April 26, 2022, 9:22 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=2335.msg75088#msg75088
date=1650900783]
They were rude to the audience by arriving 15 minutes after
curtain to take their seats (did people have to move to let them
in?).
[/quote]
No one had to move to let them in. We have the three end seats
of the row, so I had moved to the most inside seat to make their
entrance as easy as possible. The theater also has a policy that
after the show starts, they will not let you be seated until a
pause in the show. Unfortunately, this show was very efficient
with their scene changes, so there wasn't really a pause when
they made it to their seats. So their entrance was at least
mildly disruptive.
With time, I have come to realize that I think that their desire
to skip the show was because they didn't want to enter late. I
do understand this. However, their request didn't really take
into consideration that I had made appropriate plans to be there
on time. I'm not sure if that makes their actions better or
worse.
#Post#: 75134--------------------------------------------------
Re: Blowing Off The Plans
By: lowspark Date: April 26, 2022, 11:35 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=2335.msg75126#msg75126
date=1650982937]
[quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=2335.msg75088#msg75088
date=1650900783]
They were rude to the audience by arriving 15 minutes after
curtain to take their seats (did people have to move to let them
in?).
[/quote]
No one had to move to let them in. We have the three end seats
of the row, so I had moved to the most inside seat to make their
entrance as easy as possible. The theater also has a policy that
after the show starts, they will not let you be seated until a
pause in the show. Unfortunately, this show was very efficient
with their scene changes, so there wasn't really a pause when
they made it to their seats. So their entrance was at least
mildly disruptive.
With time, I have come to realize that I think that their desire
to skip the show was because they didn't want to enter late. I
do understand this. However, their request didn't really take
into consideration that I had made appropriate plans to be there
on time. I'm not sure if that makes their actions better or
worse.
[/quote]
To the italics, of course not. People who are chronically late
are never taking into consideration how their behavior affects
others. If they really thought about that, they wouldn't be
late.
I have found that people who are chronically late can and do
manage to be on time when it is important to them. I had a
friend years ago who was always late to everything except for
work. She had a job to which she absolutely could not be late
due to the nature of the work. And she managed to do it. Of
course, what that communicated to me and all her other friends
was that we just weren't important enough to her for her to make
that effort.
IMO it's no harder to be on time than it is to be late. You just
have to count backwards to figure out what time to leave. But
you're doing that no matter what. If you're always late, you're
just not building in enough time. Aside from that mental
exercise, there's no other extra effort.
I don't really have much advice here except to just not make
plans with these two that involve being on time to something.
Since you've already bought the next season, there's not much
you can do now.
About the only thing I can suggest is to meet them for dinner on
theatre nights, and plan to meet 30 min to an hour earlier than
needed. Then if they are late, you have that extra time padded
in. But it's up to you if you want to make that effort.
Ultimately, regardless of what they do, you just have to make up
your mind to not let it affect your enjoyment of the evening...
but you already know that! :)
#Post#: 75147--------------------------------------------------
Re: Blowing Off The Plans
By: DaDancingPsych Date: April 27, 2022, 7:14 am
---------------------------------------------------------
lowspark, you bring up such an excellent point. Both of these
ladies are able to hold down jobs where I assume timeliness is
important. Maria and I had a discussion about her struggle to be
on time and I even provided some of the things that I do. But I
have never considered the fact that they must have figured out
how to get to work on time.
I am insanely early sometimes, but I would never expect other
people to show up as early as I do.
*****************************************************
DIR Next Page