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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 75002--------------------------------------------------
Re: My parents made a scrapbook "for" me, and I don't
want it.
By: Aleko Date: April 21, 2022, 5:41 am
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I don't think the standard etiquette for receiving an
inappropriate gift (smile weakly, say thank you, take it and
don't let them know if you get rid of it a.s.a.p.) applies to
something created and given in direct opposition to the
recipient's known wishes. You say that they have put in stuff
that you stated plainly that you did not want, like or wish to
be reminded of because that's what they consider important to be
celebrated despite your dislike of it, which makes clear that
this is about them and not you; and they shredded a mound of
memorabilia of your childhood that you would have liked to see
and might have wanted to keep. I don't think you are in any way
obligated to accept this, or even pretend that you want it or
feel any gratitude to them for their making it.
So really the only issue is how to manage the situation. Your
options basically boil down to:
- Take, keep and resent it.
- The line of least resistance: accept and take it away with
you, scan the bits you want and dump the res . From the sound of
it they are sick of all this memorabilia, so there's a good
chance that if you just took it, they'd never ask to see it.
And if they ever did, you could say that it had been destroyed
in an accident or that it was inconvenient to produce it right
now.
- The infinite delay tactic: You could just keep not taking it
home with you because it was too heavy to carry and your condo
was too full right now, till they gave up pushing it at you; or
just say 'Please keep it here for me'. After all, they've got
rid of 90% of these old papers, so they've got space!
- Outright say 'This isn't what I want to remember of my
childhood: it's what you want to remember. So you should keep
it.'
#Post#: 75048--------------------------------------------------
Re: My parents made a scrapbook "for" me, and I don't
want it.
By: LifeOnPluto Date: April 23, 2022, 4:04 am
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The evil part of me thinks you should make them enormous
scrapbooks, full of photos of your parents in unflattering,
goofy poses, as well as old 'memorabilia' (for example, your
parents' old pay slips, or electricity bills). Bonus points if
you present them to your parents with the instructions that the
scrapbooks hold great sentimental value for you, and they're not
allowed to chuck them out, etc.
#Post#: 75271--------------------------------------------------
Re: My parents made a scrapbook "for" me, and I don't
want it.
By: JeanFromBNA Date: May 4, 2022, 3:19 pm
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Apologies if this was already mentioned, but you could take the
scrap book, tear out and toss the parts that you don't like, and
keep the rest. Based on your comments about your childhood, the
book will be considerably smaller.
#Post#: 75642--------------------------------------------------
Re: My parents made a scrapbook "for" me, and I don't
want it.
By: Mara Jade Date: May 25, 2022, 3:36 pm
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There's a phrase I learned on here, is it a gift or an
obligation? My dad wanted to give me a wall hanging his grandma
made him to store baseball equipment. I told him it was cute,
but we already had a place to store his baseball stuff and his
helmet wouldn't fit. If we took it, it was with the
understanding that it was a gift that we could later dispose of
as we needed. He chose not to give it to us.
If it's a gift for you, then you can do whatever you want with
it. If your parents have expectations on what you do with it
then it is an obligation, and one that you don't want. Can you
have a straightforward discussion with them, if you give this to
me then I can do whatever I want with it, including modifying it
or throwing it away? If not, it's an obligation and I don't want
it.
#Post#: 75869--------------------------------------------------
Re: My parents made a scrapbook "for" me, and I don't
want it.
By: bopper Date: June 13, 2022, 2:07 pm
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Take it.
Then throw it out, rip pages out of it, or just stuff it in the
attic.
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