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#Post#: 76269--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Your success makes me feel bad. Stop it."
By: WorkingMum Date: July 9, 2022, 6:57 am
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[quote author=Jem link=topic=2323.msg74740#msg74740
date=1649340425]
Lately I've been seeing social media posts to the effect of:
- "Before you post photos of your beautiful daughter with her
prom date, think about how this might affect the girl who
desperately wanted to go to prom but has no date."
- "You may be excited that your child earned a spot on the
varsity team, but consider that not all people are athletic and
seeing their peers outshine them can damage their already
fragile self esteem."
- "When you post about your child's academic achievements you
need to realize how painful this is for parents of children who
do not excel in school."
These comments rub me the wrong way and I am curious what others
think. I strongly believe that a person should not compare
herself to anyone else but instead strive to be her own
individual best self. I also strongly believe that a person does
not have to diminish anyone else's sparkle to shine herself. I
doubt most people want to hurt others, but I think it is taking
things to far to essentially state that no one should be proud
of their or their children's accomplishments/endeavors because
not all people have accomplished or experienced the same things.
It comes across as an attempt to "yuck someone else's yum," and
unless the post is something like "Thank goodness my Sally has a
date to the prom, unlike my friend Amy's daughter Becca," I just
don't think there is reason for it. To me, attempting to call
someone out for being happy about something is rude.
What are your thoughts?
[/quote]
One of my favourite phrases.. "A candle does not dim by lighting
another"
#Post#: 76270--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Your success makes me feel bad. Stop it."
By: sandisadie Date: July 9, 2022, 9:57 am
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A similar thought could be "your knowledge makes me feel bad.
Let me do this even if it's incorrect." I came across this
situation last week and was astonished that the other person
would rather do a task incorrectly than follow my instructions
based on my knowledge because she was not being given a chance
to do it her way. I explained in detail how doing it her way
was incorrect. To no avail, I might add.
(Doing it her way will result in a bad outcome and compromise
further work). This is a home construction project and I happen
to know how to complete it correctly according to standard
practice.
There is not a limited amount of success, or knowledge, to be
had in the world. A lot of jealousy though, IMO.
#Post#: 76691--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Your success makes me feel bad. Stop it."
By: jazzgirl205 Date: August 6, 2022, 6:54 pm
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I like seeing all my friends happy and doing well. On Mother's
Day and Father's Day, there are a lot of posts with pictures of
deceased parents with the poster stating that these people are
missed and how they were lucky to have these people in their
lives. It's not done in a sad way. I like the posts about job
promotions, exotic travel, prom and Mardi Gras Ball pics, good
grades made by little children, new babies. I enjoy seeing
other people's joy! I lost my brother in a horrific car
accident yet I still like seeing pictures of people's families.
Both my parents are gone yet I still like to see posts about an
elderly parent's birthday. My father died before I got married
yet I like father/daughter wedding pictures. I WANT to rejoice
with my friends. They are my friends!
#Post#: 76721--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Your success makes me feel bad. Stop it."
By: DaDancingPsych Date: August 9, 2022, 5:53 am
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I agree with the general sentiment of this thread. Celebrating
one individual's accomplishments or life milestones does not
make others less. Sure, sometimes someone will post something
and while I am happy for them, I might feel sad on a personal
level. (For example, yesterday, a friend posted pictures of his
beautiful new home. I'm so happy that he found a place to make
memories with his growing family!!! But I would be dishonest if
I didn't say that there was a part of me that was jealous at not
having such a beautiful, grand home.) However, I would never
imagine telling someone that their joy is upsetting me, so
please don't post about it.
There is one type of poster who annoys me. They post all things.
Little Jimmy's school awards. His T-ball team success. Their
fabulous family vacation. The new vehicle with all the upgrades.
I comment positively on everything. "Great job, Little Jimmy!"
"I hope that you had a wonderful time!" "How beautiful!"
However, if I post something about my life, they never return
the favor and comment at all. (Sometimes they don't even "like"
it.) Admittedly, it's easy to miss things and this shouldn't be
a tit-for-tak situation. But I do grow tired of always
celebrating someone else when they never celebrate me. (However,
I suppose that might be off topic.)
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