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#Post#: 74959--------------------------------------------------
Re: Plus 1s at weddings and "strangers"
By: Rose Red Date: April 19, 2022, 6:30 am
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[quote author=PVZFan link=topic=2311.msg74958#msg74958
date=1650343796]
Did anyone see the recent AITA on Reddit about this?
Basically, the bride and groom weren't inviting plus ones unless
they both knew the person, liked the person, and would hang out
with them after the wedding. Even if the couple was married.
[/quote]
Hoo boy. I can imagine the comments. Can you please provide a
link? That sub is too big to wade through.
#Post#: 74960--------------------------------------------------
Re: Plus 1s at weddings and "strangers"
By: NFPwife Date: April 19, 2022, 6:51 am
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[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=2311.msg74959#msg74959
date=1650367854]
[quote author=PVZFan link=topic=2311.msg74958#msg74958
date=1650343796]
Did anyone see the recent AITA on Reddit about this?
Basically, the bride and groom weren't inviting plus ones unless
they both knew the person, liked the person, and would hang out
with them after the wedding. Even if the couple was married.
[/quote]
Hoo boy. I can imagine the comments. Can you please provide a
link? That sub is too big to wade through.
[/quote]
The comments were wild. I should have said this originally, I
think BTB deleted the thread. (I would have included it if I had
it.) I was commenting and it wouldn't post so I can't even find
it from my comment history.
#Post#: 74961--------------------------------------------------
Re: Plus 1s at weddings and "strangers"
By: NFPwife Date: April 19, 2022, 6:53 am
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But I'll offer this fun one as penance.
HTML https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ob1jod/aita_for_asking_two_of_mils_guests_to_leave_my/
#Post#: 74962--------------------------------------------------
Re: Plus 1s at weddings and "strangers"
By: Hmmm Date: April 19, 2022, 7:53 am
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^^^
The whole scenario is crazy.
#Post#: 74972--------------------------------------------------
Re: Plus 1s at weddings and "strangers"
By: TootsNYC Date: April 19, 2022, 1:15 pm
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[quote author=gellchom link=topic=2311.msg74695#msg74695
date=1649148446]
I think it is similar to situations in which people include
children to whom they are related but don’t invite all their
friends and coworkers to bring their children, too.
[/quote]
Back when I wrote the wedding etiquette column, this was always
my argument: That you invite people based on their relationship
to you.
So, to invite the kid you babysat for years, but not the
children of a cousin (which kids you really don't interact with,
but you are close with their parents), is completely kosher.
(I was the cousin w/ the absent kids in this scenario.)
Inviting the young cousins you see every holiday, but not
the cousins you never see, not even on holidays, is also OK,
even if their spot on the family tree is the same.
Children aren't accessories, or even an age group; they are
people with their own relationships, etc.
#Post#: 75410--------------------------------------------------
Re: Plus 1s at weddings and "strangers"
By: bigbadbetty Date: May 12, 2022, 7:05 pm
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[quote author=PVZFan link=topic=2311.msg74958#msg74958
date=1650343796]
Did anyone see the recent AITA on Reddit about this?
Basically, the bride and groom weren't inviting plus ones unless
they both knew the person, liked the person, and would hang out
with them after the wedding. Even if the couple was married.
Bride's cousin sent back an RSVP that he wasn't going to attend
because his fiancée wasn't invited. Bride talked to him about it
said, "You can be apart for a couple hours?" Cousin said, "I
can't believe you're asking me to celebrate your journey and
love story when you won't recognize mine." He said he could be
apart from fiancée, but he didn't want to be. Bride said, "Our
wedding our rules." He said, "I realize that. That's why I'm not
attending." Bride was upset that he wasn't going to follow her
rules and attend. She clearly didn't think that someone would
opt not to attend over her rules. She seemed to think her cousin
was being unreasonable.
[/quote]
I did not see that one, but I have seen similar scenarios on
AITA. Like I didn't invite the boyfriend/partner/spouse/child of
someone and now that person won't come either. In my mind, that
what happens. It doesn't necessarily mean you were wrong for
your decision. A line has to be drawn somewhere. And some people
would rather hang out with their spouse than go to your wedding
alone. I have social anxiety. Unless this is a close group of
friends, I am not interesting in going alone.
This happened before we were married but had been dating for
several years. My husband was invited to his cousin's wedding.
He asked if I wanted to go. I told him that since I wasn't on
the invitation that I wasn't invited. He says well then that
would be no fun. So he just RSVP'd no. He wasn't particularly
close to that branch of the family. It wasn't a vengeful no.
It's a "I have limited time and money. I would rather spend it
with my partner than by myself at your wedding" no.
#Post#: 75451--------------------------------------------------
Re: Plus 1s at weddings and "strangers"
By: DaDancingPsych Date: May 15, 2022, 10:44 am
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[quote author=bigbadbetty link=topic=2311.msg75410#msg75410
date=1652400343]
[quote author=PVZFan link=topic=2311.msg74958#msg74958
date=1650343796]
Did anyone see the recent AITA on Reddit about this?
Basically, the bride and groom weren't inviting plus ones unless
they both knew the person, liked the person, and would hang out
with them after the wedding. Even if the couple was married.
Bride's cousin sent back an RSVP that he wasn't going to attend
because his fiancée wasn't invited. Bride talked to him about it
said, "You can be apart for a couple hours?" Cousin said, "I
can't believe you're asking me to celebrate your journey and
love story when you won't recognize mine." He said he could be
apart from fiancée, but he didn't want to be. Bride said, "Our
wedding our rules." He said, "I realize that. That's why I'm not
attending." Bride was upset that he wasn't going to follow her
rules and attend. She clearly didn't think that someone would
opt not to attend over her rules. She seemed to think her cousin
was being unreasonable.
[/quote]
I did not see that one, but I have seen similar scenarios on
AITA. Like I didn't invite the boyfriend/partner/spouse/child of
someone and now that person won't come either. In my mind, that
what happens. It doesn't necessarily mean you were wrong for
your decision. A line has to be drawn somewhere. And some people
would rather hang out with their spouse than go to your wedding
alone. I have social anxiety. Unless this is a close group of
friends, I am not interesting in going alone.
This happened before we were married but had been dating for
several years. My husband was invited to his cousin's wedding.
He asked if I wanted to go. I told him that since I wasn't on
the invitation that I wasn't invited. He says well then that
would be no fun. So he just RSVP'd no. He wasn't particularly
close to that branch of the family. It wasn't a vengeful no.
It's a "I have limited time and money. I would rather spend it
with my partner than by myself at your wedding" no.
[/quote]
Agreed. If I am not given the option of a plus one and I feel
that attending solo might be somewhat unpleasant, then I may
decide to not attend. I am not trying to "get back" at the host,
I am just trying to make the best decision for myself. I never
tell them that I would have attended with a partner, I just say
that I cannot attend. I feel that as long as I am being polite
that I get to make the decision that is best for me.
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