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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 74431--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nasty neighbor--please help me put this into perspective
DIR By: pierrotlunaire0
Date: March 21, 2022, 9:48 pm
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--- Quote from: DaDancingPsych link ---
>
> You are not required to smile and wave, but I don't see it as
rewarding him. It's about taking the high road.
>
--- End Quote ---
One thing I have learned over the years is that when someone is
rude or negative to me, if I smile and act nice back, I can see
my reaction actually tics them off even worse. Like, you are
trying to make me feel bad, but obviously I am not affected by
you, and maybe even this means you have absolutely no power over
me. Have a nice day!
#Post#: 74435--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nasty neighbor--please help me put this into perspective
DIR By: Aleko
Date: March 22, 2022, 4:02 am
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--- Quote ---
> Perhaps I should try to be friendly anyhow, but I just can't
bring myself to do it this time since I've had to do it too many
times in the past.
--- End Quote ---
You could re-classify it as “heaping coals of fire on his head”.
Would that make it easier?
#Post#: 74436--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nasty neighbor--please help me put this into perspective
DIR By: sms
Date: March 22, 2022, 7:55 am
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Ehh, I wouldn't be ignorant in return or make any spectacle of
being in a "feud" but I dunno, I don't want to play games with
someone like that. I'm an outlier here but there's something
about trying to up the ante with more forced friendliness when
he is making the cold shoulder very obvious that just makes me
wonder why?
What's the point of setting yourself up for further snubbing and
rejection?
If it were me I would just ignore him, but that's me. I don't
want to give someone yet more opportunities to be rude to me.
Obviously Peony should do what she is most comfortable with, if
that is satisfying herself that she is being civil by saying
hello or making continued friendly gestures then of course there
is nothing wrong with that, just that ignoring him is not
stooping to his level.
#Post#: 74439--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nasty neighbor--please help me put this into perspective
DIR By: NFPwife
Date: March 22, 2022, 10:11 am
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--- Quote from: pierrotlunaire0 link ---
>
> [quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=2308.msg74409#msg74409
date=1647822705]
> You are not required to smile and wave, but I don't see it as
rewarding him. It's about taking the high road.
>
--- End Quote ---
One thing I have learned over the years is that when someone is
rude or negative to me, if I smile and act nice back, I can see
my reaction actually tics them off even worse. Like, you are
trying to make me feel bad, but obviously I am not affected by
you, and maybe even this means you have absolutely no power over
me. Have a nice day!
[/quote]
I do the same thing. A time or two, I've won the person over and
we've become pals.
#Post#: 74441--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nasty neighbor--please help me put this into perspective
DIR By: mime
Date: March 22, 2022, 2:52 pm
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--- Quote from: PVZFan link ---
>
> [quote author=pierrotlunaire0
link=topic=2308.msg74431#msg74431 date=1647917319]
> [quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=2308.msg74409#msg74409
date=1647822705]
> You are not required to smile and wave, but I don't see it as
rewarding him. It's about taking the high road.
>
--- End Quote ---
One thing I have learned over the years is that when someone is
rude or negative to me, if I smile and act nice back, I can see
my reaction actually tics them off even worse. Like, you are
trying to make me feel bad, but obviously I am not affected by
you, and maybe even this means you have absolutely no power over
me. Have a nice day!
[/quote]
I do the same thing. A time or two, I've won the person over and
we've become pals.
[/quote]
Treat people kindly because of who YOU are, not because of who
THEY are? Makes sense to me.
#Post#: 74452--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nasty neighbor--please help me put this into perspective
DIR By: Soop
Date: March 23, 2022, 7:13 am
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Honestly, it wouldn't bother me. I don't even know who lives on
most of my floor. Who knows what perceived slight he is angry
about. Some people just aren't made for multi-tenant buildings.
#Post#: 74461--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nasty neighbor--please help me put this into perspective
DIR By: lowspark
Date: March 23, 2022, 3:37 pm
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I think you're giving way too much importance to this neighbor.
He doesn't want to be friends. Who cares! Let it go. Just ignore
him and don't give it any more thought.
#Post#: 74467--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nasty neighbor--please help me put this into perspective
DIR By: Star Wars Fan
Date: March 23, 2022, 5:52 pm
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--- Quote from: lowspark link ---
>
> I think you're giving way to much importance to this neighbor.
He doesn't want to be friends. Who cares! Let it go. Just ignore
him and don't give it any more thought.
>
--- End Quote ---
I agree with you, but for some people it's not always that easy
and it has to be learned, I know I was like that too. I had to
teach myself and learn to not always care what other people
thought or worry that it was somehow all my fault that they were
mad at me and didn't like me. I think for some of us it takes
time to come to the realization that a lot of times it's just
the way some people are and how they choose to react to you. And
also coming to the realization that you don't have to be
everybody's friend, nor should you want to be either.
Ed.
#Post#: 74506--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nasty neighbor--please help me put this into perspective
DIR By: peony
Date: March 25, 2022, 8:08 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Star Wars Fan link ---
>
> [quote author=lowspark link=topic=2308.msg74461#msg74461
date=1648067824]
> I think you're giving way to much importance to this neighbor.
He doesn't want to be friends. Who cares! Let it go. Just ignore
him and don't give it any more thought.
>
--- End Quote ---
I agree with you, but for some people it's not always that easy
and it has to be learned, I know I was like that too. I had to
teach myself and learn to not always care what other people
thought or worry that it was somehow all my fault that they were
mad at me and didn't like me. I think for some of us it takes
time to come to the realization that a lot of times it's just
the way some people are and how they choose to react to you. And
also coming to the realization that you don't have to be
everybody's friend, nor should you want to be either.
Ed.
[/quote]
That's true for me too--it's a lesson I seem to keep relearning
every once in a while.
#Post#: 74703--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nasty neighbor--please help me put this into perspective
DIR By: lowspark
Date: April 5, 2022, 3:36 pm
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--- Quote from: peony link ---
>
> [quote author=Star Wars Fan link=topic=2308.msg74467#msg74467
date=1648075942]
> [quote author=lowspark link=topic=2308.msg74461#msg74461
date=1648067824]
> I think you're giving way to much importance to this neighbor.
He doesn't want to be friends. Who cares! Let it go. Just ignore
him and don't give it any more thought.
>
--- End Quote ---
I agree with you, but for some people it's not always that easy
and it has to be learned, I know I was like that too. I had to
teach myself and learn to not always care what other people
thought or worry that it was somehow all my fault that they were
mad at me and didn't like me. I think for some of us it takes
time to come to the realization that a lot of times it's just
the way some people are and how they choose to react to you. And
also coming to the realization that you don't have to be
everybody's friend, nor should you want to be either.
Ed.
[/quote]
That's true for me too--it's a lesson I seem to keep relearning
every once in a while.
[/quote]
Yeah, we all want people to like us. But I think about it this
way: I don't like everyone I meet. And often it's not because of
anything they specifically did or said. Sometimes people just
rub you the wrong way. It's not always something you can put
your finger on.
So... I probably have that affect on others as well. (Shocking
though that may be! ;D)
Eh, I have other friends. I don't really need to be friends with
everyone I meet anyway!
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