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#Post#: 74186--------------------------------------------------
Woman walks out of her surprise birthday party
By: pierrotlunaire0 Date: March 8, 2022, 9:50 pm
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News link here:
HTML https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wellness/woman-praised-for-walking-out-of-surprise-birthday-party-over-cruel-prank/ar-AAUMraZ?ocid=uxbndlbing
Young woman was excited to start her birthday day, but everyone
(family, friends, coworkers) seemed to be ignoring her all day
long and acting cranky to her as well. Finally she buys herself
a small birthday cake and heads home. Surprise! Everyone is
waiting to greet her with gifts and cards and food.
Problem is, after the miserable day they put her through, she
doesn't want to have anything to do with them. She leaves and
goes to McDonalds by herself.
I can see why she was so upset. As several of the comments
pointed out, You don't have to make someone absolutely miserable
to make the surprise happier and better. I don't know how well
I would handle a surprise party if I were in a good mood, but in
her position, I might well have burst into tears and left.
How does everyone else feel?
#Post#: 74187--------------------------------------------------
Re: Woman walks out of her surprise birthday party
By: Aleko Date: March 9, 2022, 1:23 am
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I think surprise parties are a terrible idea anyway. Very few
people can easily switch in an instant from “coming home
to supper and TV” mode to “PARTAAAY!”: and
even those who can, might have made other plans for their
evening. But anyone who thinks “I know! We’ll all
conspire to ignore her all day so she thinks nobody cares! That
way she’ll be even MORE grateful when she comes home tired
and depressed, and we all leap out at her with balloons and
party poppers!” deserves all the rejection they get. I
actually rather admire her for walking out rather than pinning
on a wan smile and putting up with it, thus indulging them in
the illusion that they’d done a clever and sweet thing for
her. She didn’t owe them that.*
As for her family’s and colleagues’ behaviour in
berating her by text for being upset . . . no comment necessary,
surely?
* Any more than someone ambushed by a public proposal of
marriage (you know the kind of thing, having it announced over
the PA at the big match or wherever, with TV cameras) owes the
proposer a blushing ‘yes’. Whenever I hear stories
about that kind of malarkey I always wonder if the
proposee’s true reactions was “WTF? You jerk,
you’ve got to be kidding!”, but she felt obligated
to go along for the cameras.
#Post#: 74189--------------------------------------------------
Re: Woman walks out of her surprise birthday party
By: Soop Date: March 9, 2022, 7:44 am
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Any time I have been involved in a surprise party, the one being
celebrated has thought there was something going on, just much
smaller than a full on party (e.g. grandparents are in town for
dinner or immediate family gathering for the birthday) or it's
on a day that isn't the actual birthday, so as to reduce
suspicions.
Honestly, I would be suspicious if none of my family
acknowledged it was my birthday and were even not nice to me.
#Post#: 74191--------------------------------------------------
Re: Woman walks out of her surprise birthday party
By: STiG Date: March 9, 2022, 9:34 am
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My Dad always knew when my brother and I were planning a
surprise party for our parents' anniversary.
Because my brother and I were going to town and otherwise
spending time together, without arguing. ;D
I also admire her for walking out; I'm not sure I could have
done it. The planners definitely blew it; they should have
treated her how they normally treated her on her birthday -
wishing her happy birthday, treats in the break room, etc. Then
the party would be a pleasant surprise.
#Post#: 74192--------------------------------------------------
Re: Woman walks out of her surprise birthday party
By: honeybee42 Date: March 9, 2022, 9:51 am
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I'm going to concur -- a surprise party is a "know your
recipient*" sort of thing and should be, if it happens, a bonus.
So, low-key "happy birthday" on greeting the birthday person,
maybe a card or small treat in the breakroom (depending on
workplace relationships), and then the bonus of a birthday party
at the end of the day.
I think that she was right to walk out. The planners owe her an
apology, as does anyone who berated her for her reaction. The
planners and any invitees goofed.
*know your recipient, because there are some people who would
not want a surprise party at all.
Some of us (introverts like myself) are kind of wiped at the end
of a work day from dealing with other people and can't gin up
the energy for a party without knowing to prepare for it. I
know that I am an extreme introvert (work place did official
MBTI event), and in that event, one of the activities that they
had sorted the group into introverts, extroverts, and weakly
expressed of both (like if it was a scale of 30E to 1E and 1I to
30I, introverts were 11-30I, extroverts 11-30E and weakly
expressed were 10E to 10I--I happen to be a 30, so I know I am
an outlier) with a question "you come home from work, and your
SO surprises you by saying that you've been invited to a party
this evening. What is your first reaction? What do you do after
you get there?" ... most of the people in my group were first
reaction dismay, and then "well, I'll go along with it to make
SO happy" where my reaction was 'oh **** no' and 'what is this
'after I get there' that you speak of? I'm not going, and you
can't make me'. The extrovert group was all 'ooh, party' and
worrying about logistics like childcare and what to wear as
their first response.
#Post#: 74195--------------------------------------------------
Re: Woman walks out of her surprise birthday party
By: BeagleMommy Date: March 9, 2022, 10:25 am
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Why was it necessary to make her feel completely ignored and
unappreciated before giving her a party? This was a cruel
prank. Bravo to her for walking out.
#Post#: 74201--------------------------------------------------
Re: Woman walks out of her surprise birthday party
By: bigbadbetty Date: March 9, 2022, 7:31 pm
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Someone in the article said it wasn't a surprise party, it was a
prank. I agree. I had a surprise birthday party thrown for me
and it was really lovely. I was in my 20s. Me and like 4 friends
went to the bar. When we got there, more friends were there.
Some who I hadn't seen in a while. I would not be happy with an
ambush surprise party. If I am thinking that I am doing nothing
after work, I want to do nothing after work. I am not that
adaptable.
#Post#: 74203--------------------------------------------------
Re: Woman walks out of her surprise birthday party
By: AnnNottingham Date: March 9, 2022, 8:11 pm
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This reminds me of a surprise my brothers put together for our
parents (I was in on it). Youngest brother took them out to
dinner for their anniversary (the restaurant was in on this,
too). All was normal until middle brother approached the table
and asked for their drink order. It was a long minute before
they recognized him! Normalcy (with the two brothers now
joining them) until dessert, when oldest brother comes over to
take their dessert order! It came off flawlessly, and my father
(himself a world-class prankster and surpriser) loved it.
I concur you have to know your audience.
#Post#: 74204--------------------------------------------------
Re: Woman walks out of her surprise birthday party
By: Aleko Date: March 10, 2022, 2:33 am
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[quote]This reminds me of a surprise my brothers put together
for our parents (I was in on it). Youngest brother took them
out to dinner for their anniversary (the restaurant was in on
this, too). All was normal until middle brother approached the
table and asked for their drink order. It was a long minute
before they recognized him! Normalcy (with the two brothers now
joining them) until dessert, when oldest brother comes over to
take their dessert order! It came off flawlessly, and my father
(himself a world-class prankster and surpriser) loved it.
I concur you have to know your audience.[/quote]
Also, the restaurant dinner wasn’t a surprise to your parents,
so they were already in ‘celebratory treat mode’, dressed up
nice and looking forward to have an evening out being made much
of. I think it’s fine to arrange a party for someone that they
know about but throw in something extra and unexpected, as your
brothers did, which sounds like a lot of fun. A pre-advertised
party with a surprise in it is fun: being told ‘Make sure you’re
[dressed up nice / in your warmest clothes / whatever] on Friday
evening, and wait to see what happens’ is fun: a true surprise
party, where an honoree who was expecting a normal evening and
thus hasn’t got their party head on is suddenly ambushed, is
something only a very few ultra-spontaneous extroverts are
likely to enjoy.
#Post#: 74206--------------------------------------------------
Re: Woman walks out of her surprise birthday party
By: lowspark Date: March 10, 2022, 8:54 am
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Yeah. I think it's obvious that the family and friends messed up
by ignoring her or deliberately being demanding during the day.
If my own mother forgot my birthday to the point of making
demands about cooking and cleaning? Wow. Just wow.
Surprise parties are fraught with pitfalls. I think that there
are some people who truly do like them, but you have to be 100%
sure that the guest of honor is one of those people.
I would HATE to have a surprise party, of any kind, thrown for
me. For me, half the fun of a party is the anticipation.
Especially if it's my party! I want to be in on the planning.
That's a big part of my enjoyment of the event.
I've only been the participant in a couple of surprise parties.
And yeah, GOH always knew there was going to be some kind of
celebration or event, just not the full details.
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