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#Post#: 73619--------------------------------------------------
Professional Potty Mouth
By: DaDancingPsych Date: February 7, 2022, 9:42 am
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I am not sure that I am looking for advice (as I think the best
thing for me to do is nothing), but is there a professional way
to say, "Watch your potty language"?
I have to work with a vendor who has quickly become my BEC. He
needs constant reminders to do anything, even simple tasks. I
would love recommending that we explore other vendors, but he's
my boss's buddy. My experience with working with any of my
boss's buddies is that I'm not allowed to criticize them. I have
to let them cut corners and I'm supposed to clean up the mess
when they make one. It's not fair, but I figure it's just part
of the job. And some of these buddies have actually been
competent, but certainly not this most recent one.
I sent yet another follow-up email requesting a missing form.
His reply was, "Oh 'crap', I thought I sent that." (To his
credit, he did send it this time... incomplete, but a step
forward.) Like I said, I think it's best that I just ignore the
comment. I'm not a withering flower and have heard worse and
it's quite possible that it's a typo and meant to type "darn",
but it got me wondering if there was a professional manner to
address such things.
#Post#: 73621--------------------------------------------------
Re: Professional Potty Mouth
By: Jem Date: February 7, 2022, 10:22 am
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Is the offensive word "crap?" Either way, I would likely just
ignore unless the offensive language is directed at someone (as
opposed to simply colorful language). His language isn't
professional, but it isn't your issue to address.
#Post#: 73622--------------------------------------------------
Re: Professional Potty Mouth
By: DaDancingPsych Date: February 7, 2022, 10:27 am
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[quote author=Jem link=topic=2282.msg73621#msg73621
date=1644250973]
Is the offensive word "crap?" Either way, I would likely just
ignore unless the offensive language is directed at someone (as
opposed to simply colorful language). His language isn't
professional, but it isn't your issue to address.
[/quote]
No, the actual word was not crap. It's the synonym. (I was
trying not to commit the same crime here!) ;D It did occur to
me that it was not directed AT me or anyone else. If he was
being abusive to me, then I think I might need to address it and
potentially escalate to my boss. (Honestly, I'm not sure if the
boss would react at that point, because of the buddy status.)
But you are probably right... maybe this isn't even mine to
address ever. Hmmm...
#Post#: 73624--------------------------------------------------
Re: Professional Potty Mouth
By: STiG Date: February 7, 2022, 10:41 am
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I agree that it isn't very professional. However, given the
situation, I don't think you can address it.
However, if he starts swearing in phone conversations,
especially if it is directed at you, I think you can say to him,
'I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't swear in our work-related
conversations.'
#Post#: 73650--------------------------------------------------
Re: Professional Potty Mouth
By: lowspark Date: February 8, 2022, 11:31 am
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They key word here, and all the responses thus far have used it,
is "professional".
So, if you were going to reply, you might say something like, "I
would appreciate it if you would keep your communications
professional and refrain from using off color language."
I agree though, that in the situation you describe, no reply or
admonishment would probably be best.
#Post#: 73651--------------------------------------------------
Re: Professional Potty Mouth
By: TootsNYC Date: February 8, 2022, 11:44 am
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I like to say "please don't use that word when you're speaking
with me; I find it unpleasant."
And not to throw around judgment-linked terms like "more
professional" and so on
I just don't like it; I'd rather not hear it; I'm asking for
your cooperation.
#Post#: 73652--------------------------------------------------
Re: Professional Potty Mouth
By: BeagleMommy Date: February 8, 2022, 1:16 pm
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Not in this job, but I once told a client at another job "Just
so you are aware, the emails at our company are monitored and
any incoming or outgoing emails that use off color language are
blocked."
Would this be worth bringing up to your boss?
#Post#: 73674--------------------------------------------------
Re: Professional Potty Mouth
By: DaDancingPsych Date: February 9, 2022, 10:40 am
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[quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=2282.msg73652#msg73652
date=1644347811]
Would this be worth bringing up to your boss?
[/quote]
If this was a normal vendor, not yet. It was one time incident
and could have been a typo. If it became constant, maybe. If it
was more threatening and directed at someone, probably might
need to be brought to his attention.
However, being that this person is a friend of his, I think I
must tread more lightly. He has proved to be over-protective of
his buddies and any criticism (even when warranted), has been
met with resistance. So I would only consider directly bringing
it to his attention if I felt threatened. And even then I would
probably avoid doing so if I had not used some of the great
suggestions here. I KNEW this board would know how to tell this
person to put a lid on it... professionally!
#Post#: 73690--------------------------------------------------
Re: Professional Potty Mouth
By: Aleko Date: February 10, 2022, 6:31 am
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My late father’s first job after leaving school in Kenya aged 16
was in a factory, as foreman to a work gang that consisted of
about a dozen north-Italian ex-prisoners of war. They told him a
joke about some southern Italian soldiers who were captured by
the enemy, tied up and subjected to harsh interrogation, told
they wouldn’t be fed or given cigarettes unless they gave
information They maintained a dignified, stoic silence for
hours, till someone had the bright idea of untying their hands;
at which point they started jabbering and gesticulating nineteen
to the dozen. Because, these north Italians said, everybody
knows that a Sicilian or a Calabrian can’t talk without
gesturing!
Which is a roundabout way of saying that people whose normal
speech routinely includes crude-or-worse words can genuinely
find it difficult to express themselves fluently on occasions
where they have to stay alert to stop one slipping out*. Such
people are not deliberately being offensive or even
inconsiderate; they may just be talking the only way they know
how. There are certainly sectors of business and industry (and
society) where if one were to refuse to deal with people who use
crude language one would never get anywhere at all. So there is
a whole raft of judgement calls to be made in any specific
instance.
* And that’s as pragmatic a reason for keeping one’s habitual
language clean as I know. Keep the blasphemy and obscenity bombs
for special occasions, folks, and not only will you shake your
hearers more when you do want to make waves, you’ll avoid
shocking them by accident when you don’t!
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