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#Post#: 73638--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: Gellchom Date: February 8, 2022, 6:24 am
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I don't know about Venus193's friend, but I have an uncle and a
friend who both have real and serious allergies to all kinds of
fish, not just shellfish.
My husband and I are both cilantro "tasters," so although we are
not allergic to it, and we won't get sick, we will gag on it.
Unfortunately -- I wish we could eat it; it's everywhere.
Anyway, we clearly tell waiters "No cilantro in anything,
please," and then repeat it at the end of the order, but half
the time we get it anyway (I think probably they tell the
kitchen, but the kitchen workers are busy and just make things
the way they always do, and the server forgets to check.) We
have had several restaurants tell us to say we are allergic! We
still don't, but I'm just passing on that that's what they said
is the only way to make sure they pay attention.
#Post#: 73639--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: Gellchom Date: February 8, 2022, 6:42 am
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[quote author=Jem link=topic=2281.msg73632#msg73632
date=1644263659]
[quote author=Venus193 link=topic=2281.msg73610#msg73610
date=1644202992]
It seems she says she's allergic to anything she doesn't like
the first time and is just a picky eater. This can seriously
cramp other people's cooking styles.
Is there anything that can be done about this?
[/quote]
I don't understand why this would cramp anyone's cooking styles.
If she asks whether a dish has something she claims to be
allergic to in it, be honest with her. She is an adult and can
choose to eat it or not. I don't think it is necessary to cater
to people like that. I certainly don't expect people to consider
my preferences when cooking. I can choose to eat a dish or not.
I can choose to eat what I prefer before or after a dining
experience if I choose not to eat what is served (or much of
what is served).
I don't see any need to call anyone out for anything. I am not
sure what the goal of that would be.
[/quote]
I really hate it when guests don't tell me about allergies,
aversions, or other restrictions, especially because I always
ask in advance. The pleasure of hosting is pleasing your
guests. It is no fun to cook a meal that people won't enjoy or
even eat at all. Honestly, it's just as easy or at least almost
as easy for me to make a menu that will work for everyone. The
excuse is always, "Oh, we didn't want you to go to any trouble."
But the hosts DID go to exactly as much "trouble" -- they just
won't eat it.
Last week, we had some friends over for the first time for a Tet
Holiday dinner. Good thing I asked: one couple doesn't like
fish, and the wife can't eat scallions or garlic. Almost
everything in the Vietnamese dinner I'd planned has both garlic
and scallions, and one dish was to be fish! It was easy,
though, to change out a couple of dishes and tweak the rest. I
would have felt terrible if she just ate plain rice because she
"hadn't wanted to be any trouble." And I imagine the rest of us
would've felt a bit uncomfortable about enjoying the meal in
front of her. I'm so glad I asked and they answered truthfully!
So to me it doesn't at all feel like it's "cramping my cooking
style." (At most, it's a challenge that ends up being kind of
fun to succeed at.) To me, it feels like it's helping me to
succeed as a host.
#Post#: 73643--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: Venus193 Date: February 8, 2022, 7:59 am
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I am moderately lactose-intolerant. When I go to my local bagel
shop -- the best in the county -- I buy the bagels and cream
cheese separately because buying a single bagel with cream
cheese gets you a quarter pound or more of cream cheese on the
bagel. "Just a schmear" brings it down too far. The last time
I got a bagel they prepared i started feeling phlegm rise at the
halfway mark of eating. I can't handle a Starbucks macchiato.
In restaurants I have to tell waiters not to put cheese in my
salad or on my burger; these are aversions. That is not an
issue for them and I am not a drama queen about it.
But if someone would refuse to eat my boeuf bourgignon if I put
mushrooms in it I would tell them tough noogies. Omitted them
once and it completely changed the flavor of the food. Mushrooms
are needed to tame the flavor of the onions; the dish is out of
balance without them. French cooking is like that.
I don't have the space in my current apartment for dinner
parties, but if I ever move to one that has the space I will
need to deal with this from time to time.
#Post#: 73645--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: Hmmm Date: February 8, 2022, 8:30 am
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I believe so many people with food intolerances or aversions
started using allergies because so many people wouldn't take the
issue seriously.
My husband has a very strong aversion to onions. He can tolerate
a minimal if they are chopped very finely in something that a
stew, chili or sauce. But biting into one or eating something
like a dumpling that tastes of onion literally turns his stomach
and puts him off the rest of his meal. I accommodate it in my
cooking by using less than a fourth of the amount a recipe
suggests, leaving it out entirely, or cutting into very large
pieces so he can be sure to miss them. He never lies about it
being an allergy but at times it would make eating out simpler
if he just said it was an allergy. You can't imagine the amount
of times he has ordered something and said "Nothing from the
onion family" to have his meal come dusted with chives.
My sonIL has a medical condition that causes great intestinal
stress from consuming mushrooms. Probably TMI but they actually
ferment in his large intestine. My DD learned the hard way that
this is a serious condition. She bought some "Pork & Cabbage"
dumplings and served them. In about an hour they were searching
the ingredients where they found mushrooms to be an ingredient.
She said she had to leave their apartment because of the smell
while he was in serious pain for about 6 hours. To me, this
intolerance is just as serious as someone with a nut allergy
that causes them to break out in pimples or or a gluten allergy
that causes some intestinal distress.
My sister went from being a life long eater of onions and all
peppers. About 5 years ago, her body decided not any more. While
she won't say anything to you, the entire time she is eating a
small amount to be polite, she is dreading the effects your bell
pepper included stew is going to have on her body that night.
So if someone tells you they have an aversion or intolerance,
except it and accommodate it. Just because you are not there to
witness the problems it causes, it doesn't mean the effects are
not real.
#Post#: 73648--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: TootsNYC Date: February 8, 2022, 10:14 am
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[quote author=Venus193 link=topic=2281.msg73643#msg73643
date=1644328776]
I am moderately lactose-intolerant. When I go to my local bagel
shop -- the best in the county -- I buy the bagels and cream
cheese separately because buying a single bagel with cream
cheese gets you a quarter pound or more of cream cheese on the
bagel. "Just a schmear" brings it down too far. The last time
I got a bagel they prepared i started feeling phlegm rise at the
halfway mark of eating. I can't handle a Starbucks macchiato.
[/quote]
I don't have physical reactions, but I didn't like a lot of
cream cheese; I often got it anyway. I just scraped off most of
it.
Can you not do that?
I guess it isn't often logistically easy, but...
#Post#: 73656--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: BeagleMommy Date: February 8, 2022, 1:45 pm
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I have a cousin who is severely allergic to all tree nuts
(almonds, walnuts, pecans, etc). He can eat peanuts. This is
because peanuts are not actually a nut; they are legumes.
He was called a liar by someone who knew he was allergic to nuts
who then saw him eat peanut butter cups. Trying to explain why
he could eat those went nowhere.
If I have an aversion to certain foods I will ask the restaurant
to leave the item off. If they forget, I pull it off myself
(although if they forget to leave off the mayonnaise I send it
back).
If someone tells me they're allergic I believe them. If they
say that because they have an aversion rather than an allergy I
don't question but I do tell them all the ingredients in
anything I cook.
#Post#: 73663--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: NFPwife Date: February 8, 2022, 4:59 pm
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=2281.msg73628#msg73628
date=1644260424]
[quote]The trouble with allergies of convenience is, quite
simply, that they kill people. Not the people who claim to have
them, but people who really have them but are simply not
believed because of the horrifying number of people like
Venus123’s picky friend who blithely use “allergy” as a synonym
for “a dislike of”. The word is so debased now that we almost
need a new word for genuine allergy, so that people would take
it seriously.[/quote]
I think the solution to that is for people to just always take
it seriously.
It's a jerk move to say, "I'm not going to believe in your
allergy, because my friend uses the term allergy to mean she
doesn't like it."
And also, for people to stop arguing when someone says, "I don't
want to eat onions" (or whatever).
And so to answer Venus's question:
No, nothing can really be done about these "false allergies."
But I think nothing needs to be done about them.
Just respect people's food preferences and needs.
What needs "to be done about" is people arguing with those who
express a need for different food. Those are the people we need
to be calling out.
As for "needing another term:
we have adjectives
[quote]life-threatening allergy
serious allergy
mild allergy[/quote]
[/quote]
That's the point I was trying to make. I think "call out
culture" has had a hand in making people with aversions just say
they have allergies to stop the badgering about it. The
convenience is the freedom from being challenged. Not
challenging allergies and aversions and just taking people's
food things seriously is the way to go.
I have a food allergy to aspartame that's dose dependent - just
a little will give me a raccoon rash on my face. I check
anything and everything that could have aspartame. I don't take
gum or mints from anyone and have stopped eating anything that's
a sweet dish at potlucks unless I can question the person who
brought it.
Our McDonald's likes to use those sweetener dispensers and not
hand actual blue, yellow, or white packets. They don't have them
out and you have to ask for packets. I, generally, try to have
my own sweetener and avoid the whole thing but if I don't I'll
say, "Splenda packets, please, I'll put them in."
Occasionally someone wants to challenge that and it just serves
to aggravate me and hold everything up.
One person said, "We use the dispenser. How many do you want,
we'll put them in."
"I'm allergic to nutrasweet, I'll take packets and put them in,
just to be sure, thank you."
McDs person "Are you saying you don't trust me?"
"I don't trust anyone with this, it's not personal."
The manager is now watching this exchange and says, "She asked
for packets, just give her packets!"
This isn't something I bump up against often, and I just
realized I haven't had to deal with this since the start of the
pandemic because we aren't really eating out. I can only imagine
how annoying it would be on a consistent basis.
*Edit - fixed a word or two once I was on a proper keyboard
#Post#: 73665--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: QueenFaninCA Date: February 8, 2022, 5:23 pm
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[quote author=Venus193 link=topic=2281.msg73610#msg73610
date=1644202992]
Someone I know now has claimed to be allergic to all spices and
seasonings (not the same person I mentioned in the other
thread). When I announced that I was making boeuf bourgignon
for the Christmas party she asked if there was any pepper in it
I told her that there would be no bell peppers.
[/quote]
"Dear friend, I am very sorry, but of course there is pepper in
it. I wouldn't dream of serving unseasoned food to my guests.
And unfortunately the seasoning goes in early in the cooking
process, so I can't season individual servings in the end and
leave an unseasoned one for you. But here is some bread and I
think I have ham and sliced swiss cheese in the fridge if you
want to make yourself a sandwich."
#Post#: 73668--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: Venus193 Date: February 9, 2022, 9:41 am
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I don't like to waste food. Since we can't eat in at that shop
now I just buy the items and eat my bagels at home.
Interestingly there is no sales tax on ingredients but there is
on prepared sandwiches of all kinds. That's not insignificant
here.
Also, the last time I got a bagel with cream cheese and lox from
that place it cost $12.... about 5 years ago. I pick up lox
from my regular supermarket on the way back and now such a
delicacy of bagel, cream cheese, and lox ends up costing me
about $7.50 each and I get a little more lox on each one.
#Post#: 73671--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: Rose Red Date: February 9, 2022, 9:57 am
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[quote author=Venus193 link=topic=2281.msg73668#msg73668
date=1644421299]
Also, the last time I got a bagel with cream cheese and lox from
that place it cost $12.... about 5 years ago. I pick up lox
from my regular supermarket on the way back and now such a
delicacy of bagel, cream cheese, and lox ends up costing me
about $7.50 each and I get a little more lox on each one.
[/quote]
Prepared/assembled food is always so expensive. There's a
Japanese ramen place by my work and a small bowl of ramen with
egg and pork slices is around $11 (may be more now). Now that
I'm working from home, I make my own and all the ingredients
probably cost $3-5 per serving; maybe less. I put more toppings
on too, like veggies and ginger, which makes it taste better :D
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