DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Entertaining and Hospitality
*****************************************************
#Post#: 73610--------------------------------------------------
Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: Venus193 Date: February 6, 2022, 9:03 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
How many of you have experienced people with Allergies of
Convenience and can anything be done about it?
My old friend Brunnhilde (RIP) had a traumatic experience with a
fishbone when she was a child. She refuse to eat fish of any
kind after that. When she was in hospital in 2016 and they
brought her a breaded sole filet for dinner she told the nurse
she was allergic to fish. While allergies to shellfish are
fairly common the nurse had never heard of allergies to sole,
flounder, etc. Considering the situation I didn't call her out
on this and she wasn't served fish again in the hospital.
Someone I know now has claimed to be allergic to all spices and
seasonings (not the same person I mentioned in the other
thread). When I announced that I was making boeuf bourgignon
for the Christmas party she asked if there was any pepper in it
I told her that there would be no bell peppers. I did not
mention that ground pepper is in the marinade. She has used my
jar of adobo that I sometimes bring along to the pub and that
stuff contains pepper.
She ate the BB and loved it. No adverse reaction. It seems she
says she's allergic to anything she doesn't like the first time
and is just a picky eater. This can seriously cramp other
people's cooking styles.
Is there anything that can be done about this?
#Post#: 73613--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: NFPwife Date: February 6, 2022, 10:49 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Personally, I'd be careful about going around the allergy for
fear of hitting on an allergy that I thought was imagine and was
real. I realize it can put a damper on ones cooking but if
people have strong aversions, I'd respect them. I'd hate for
someone to find out I challenged their allergy, that's a level
of betrayal I wouldn't want to insert into a casual relationship
let alone a friendship.
My body doesn't respond to sulfa drugs. No matter what the
culture says, sulfa drugs won't work. At 16 a kidney infection
went into sepsis and I was at a teaching hospital and they
marched two classes into my room to study this phenomenon. The
instructor told me to tell providers that sulfa drugs don't
work. I tell every new provider that. Several have been very
dismissive. One prescribed a sulfa drug anyway because "the
culture said it would work" it didn't and I ended up getting an
emergency IV and was thisclose to being septic again. I was
furious. It feels dishonest to say I'm allergic so I hadn't,
then my new gyne's nurse marked my chart as allergic and that
pushed to all my pharmacies and other docs. Life got a little
easier. So while not exactly allergic, I'm sticking with it.
I see that as similar to the fish allergy. It's just easier than
explaining that one had a traumatic experience with a fish bone
and now has aversive reaction)to that type of fish.
Because I could see "aversion" going like this - "Oh, I had a
traumatic experience with that fish, I'm averse to it."
"Averse? What happens?"
"Well, I have flashbacks feel like I'm choking, my body gets
hot, the room starts to spin a little."
Then the fish monger becomes an expert in exposure therapy and
has 1,500 suggestions on how to "get over" the aversion.
Saying "I'm allergic" stops the conversation and prevents
someone from attempting trauma interventions.
#Post#: 73615--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: Aleko Date: February 7, 2022, 1:45 am
---------------------------------------------------------
The trouble with allergies of convenience is, quite simply, that
they kill people. Not the people who claim to have them, but
people who really have them but are simply not believed because
of the horrifying number of people like Venus123’s picky friend
who blithely use “allergy” as a synonym for “a dislike of”. The
word is so debased now that we almost need a new word for
genuine allergy, so that people would take it seriously. (Just
as a doctor colleague of mine used to say we need a new term for
flu: so many people claim to ‘have flu’ when they just have a
stinking cold, that their employers feel free to insist that
they come in regardless, and the take-up of free flu jabs is low
because who wants to get jabbed to avoid a cold?)
Call me annoying, but I do call out people who claim to have a
food allergy: ‘You’re allergic? Please show me where you keep
your Epipen, and how to use it in an emergency!’ If they say er
no, they don’t have an Epipen because it isn’t anything
life-threatening, hahaha, I’d outright ask if it is a physical
intolerance that will cause them to come out in a rash or
something, or do they just not like it? And if a friend of mine
blithely claimed to “be allergic to all kinds of pepper” after
happily eating my pepper-containing food with no ill effects,
I’d tell her the good news that hooray, she actually wasn’t!
I would never claim to have a food allergy if I hadn’t, and I
don’t think anyone should. (PVZF’s case is a bit different: if
medical professionals really will not accept that a given drug
is not appropriate for you short of having ‘allergic’ on your
notes, then yes, go with it.) If it’s an actual clinical
intolerance short of allergy, just say ‘I’m
[foodstuff]-intolerant’. If it’s something you just can’t stand
the smell/taste of, you can truthfully say ‘I’m afraid I can’t
eat X, it always makes me nauseous’. If you have a psychological
aversion as in the fishbone case, don’t give a hostage to the
amateur therapists, you can say ‘I react badly to X’. Not their
business to know why.
To claim an allergy of convenience is to cry wolf - but it is
not you the wolves will kill.
#Post#: 73620--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: XRogue Date: February 7, 2022, 9:57 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I have people in my family with life threatening allergies.
Others claiming to have allergies just to avoid things they
don't like really frosts me. I will happily make things without
the stuff a person doesn't like. Just don't lie to me. I can and
have called people out on this.
#Post#: 73627--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: STiG Date: February 7, 2022, 10:59 am
---------------------------------------------------------
You can have food allergies that do not require an epipen.
Celiac disease is one such example. I have a number of foods
that, while I'm not allergic to them, my body will reject them
rather violently, with a lot of discomfort. I generally use the
phrase, 'I can't eat X' rather than allergic, though, at least
with friends and family. I prefer not to give an explanation
but if pressed, I will say that it flares my IBS.
In Brunhilde's case, with that kind of severe aversion, I would
use the word allergic when eating out, though I imagine I could
avoid the issue by not eating in a seafood restaurant or
avoiding ordering a fish dish. With friends, I'd say, I can't
eat fish. But in the hospital, with medical personnel, I'd have
explained the issue.
#Post#: 73628--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: TootsNYC Date: February 7, 2022, 1:00 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote]The trouble with allergies of convenience is, quite
simply, that they kill people. Not the people who claim to have
them, but people who really have them but are simply not
believed because of the horrifying number of people like
Venus123’s picky friend who blithely use “allergy” as a synonym
for “a dislike of”. The word is so debased now that we almost
need a new word for genuine allergy, so that people would take
it seriously.[/quote]
I think the solution to that is for people to just always take
it seriously.
It's a jerk move to say, "I'm not going to believe in your
allergy, because my friend uses the term allergy to mean she
doesn't like it."
And also, for people to stop arguing when someone says, "I don't
want to eat onions" (or whatever).
And so to answer Venus's question:
No, nothing can really be done about these "false allergies."
But I think nothing needs to be done about them.
Just respect people's food preferences and needs.
What needs "to be done about" is people arguing with those who
express a need for different food. Those are the people we need
to be calling out.
As for "needing another term:
we have adjectives
[quote]life-threatening allergy
serious allergy
mild allergy[/quote]
#Post#: 73631--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: jpcher Date: February 7, 2022, 1:40 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I posted something like this on the old board.
My LDH had an intolerance for butter or greasy foods. While he
could eat butter (often ate lightly buttered toast) his body
just did not like too much of it at one time.
We went to a fancy seafood restaurant where he ordered something
in a butter sauce. He told the waiter "But I'm allergic to
butter, can I please get a different sauce?" Rightfully so
(taking care of his customers), the waiter perked up and asked,
"You're allergic? or Intollerent?" LDH insisted that he was
allergic. The manager came over and actually sat down with us.
Politely asked LDH about his allergies. LDH continued to insist
that he was allergic.
I thought it was a bit over the top for the manager to come out
and ask about allergies but after I posted I found out that with
any food allergies the restaurant must completely sanitize a
station in order to ensure none of the allergens contaminate the
food that is served.
With that being said, I do believe that "allergy" is a term that
has softened to mean "intolerant" which takes away the oomph and
importance of the true allergic.
What to do about it? If you are suspicious of a person's said
allergies, then I agree with other posters. Call them out, ask
what needs to be done if an allergic reaction happens.
#Post#: 73632--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: Jem Date: February 7, 2022, 1:54 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Venus193 link=topic=2281.msg73610#msg73610
date=1644202992]
It seems she says she's allergic to anything she doesn't like
the first time and is just a picky eater. This can seriously
cramp other people's cooking styles.
Is there anything that can be done about this?
[/quote]
I don't understand why this would cramp anyone's cooking styles.
If she asks whether a dish has something she claims to be
allergic to in it, be honest with her. She is an adult and can
choose to eat it or not. I don't think it is necessary to cater
to people like that. I certainly don't expect people to consider
my preferences when cooking. I can choose to eat a dish or not.
I can choose to eat what I prefer before or after a dining
experience if I choose not to eat what is served (or much of
what is served).
I don't see any need to call anyone out for anything. I am not
sure what the goal of that would be.
#Post#: 73633--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: Rose Red Date: February 7, 2022, 2:16 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, restaurants have to sanitize correctly for real allergies.
If they say "I'm sorry, but we are not qualified to handle
allergies" there are people who will then say "Oh I'm not really
allergic. I just don't like onions." Now what is the restaurant
suppose to do? What do they believe? In most cases, they will
refuse to serve the customer because they don't want the risk.
This may or may not lead the customer throwing a tantrum.
Just say you don't like something! If a restaurant refuse to
modify a dish for you, leave. Write a review. Anything except
lie!
As a person cooking at home, I will also refuse to cook for
someone with allergies or claim they have allergies. I don't
want to hold another person's life in my hands by an accident.
But if you simply don't like something, I won't cook with it.
#Post#: 73634--------------------------------------------------
Re: Another Spin-Off: Allergies of Convenience
By: Jem Date: February 7, 2022, 3:33 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=2281.msg73633#msg73633
date=1644264995]
I don't want to hold another person's life in my hands by an
accident.
[/quote]
100%. If I had a life threatening condition or allergy I also
wouldn't trust anyone else to protect me, even when they have
the best intentions. I think we all need to take responsibility
for ourselves in such situations!
*****************************************************
DIR Next Page