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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 73361--------------------------------------------------
Son is engaged! Advice requested
By: Gellchom Date: January 28, 2022, 6:58 am
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At jpcher’s suggestion, I am reposting this from the “good news”
forum. I do need your advice!
Here are my posts from that page, so you don’t have to look
back.
I’m looking forward to your input. It is so nice to have this
community to share these experiences with. Thanks in advance
for your ideas, suggestions, and wisdom.
***
My son is engaged!
So of course I am counting on all of you for good advice.
It is a second marriage for both of them. No children.
This will be a very different experience this time. Both his
first wedding and our daughter’s wedding were in our (then)
city, and we were mostly or completely hosting both times. They
were all in their mid twenties then; now in mid thirties with
good careers.
This time, it will be in their city, and they are doing the
planning and paying, although we are chipping in: we will pay
for a full open bar and a live band instead of a DJ if that’s
what they decide. Maybe more, but that’s so far. They are able
to afford what they want without us anyway. We would’ve hosted
dinner the night before for all the out of towers (there will be
no attendants), but my mother already dibsed that! :) The HC
will choose a nearby casual restaurant for that.
They want it to be around 75 people, which is a small wedding in
our family. My son is worried about offending people, but I
told him I am sure everyone will understand, especially for a
second wedding, for some reason. I just reminded him of the
principle we talk about here that you can invite, say, 2 out of
10 cousins (or other group) because you have a special
relationship with them, but not 8 or 9 out of 10. I also told
him not to start with rules or cutoff lines, but to write down
the names of the real people they are dealing with and then look
at it. Almost always, the answer is then clear. There usually
doesn’t need to be a “rule” at all.
I’m sure I will need a lot of advice as we go along. I’m looking
forward to sharing the ride with you all.
***
Quote from: Rho on January 22, 2022, 09:19:41 pm
Mazel Tov!
When is the wedding? How much time do we have to advise you?
In August (2022).
The bride keeps saying she doesn’t care about anything, and
would I like to plan things, but I’m smart enough to resist that
and keep my mouth shut (well, pretty much 😀). She
doesn’t want to be an obsessed bride, but of course she does
care. Why shouldn’t she? So does my son.
I’m starting to look for a dress. Advice definitely wanted
there! It is going to be dressy, but it’s not yet clear how
dressy - as in, I don’t think they have decided what the
invitations will say the attire will be. At least cocktail
dress. I don’t want another long gown because I already have the
two gorgeous ones I wore to his first wedding and my daughter’s
wedding, and I love but rarely get to wear them. I don’t want a
third! So I hope to find a terrific short to tea length dress.
My daughter wants to wear a fancy mini. We’re planning to go
shopping together soon.
Any advice on that or any other area very much welcomed and
appreciated! It’s fun to share the ride with you.
#Post#: 73362--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged! Advice requested
By: Gellchom Date: January 28, 2022, 6:58 am
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The only semi-update is that they are leaning toward “black tie
optional” on the invitations.
#Post#: 73391--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged! Advice requested
By: jpcher Date: January 28, 2022, 4:59 pm
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Do they have a venue picked out/reserved yet? What about
photographer, DJ, caterer (if not included with the venue)?
August is coming up pretty quickly and these things need to be
contracted for NOW.
For your dress, like many posters suggested to me, look at
websites for the stores you are planning on going to in order to
get a closer feel of what you are looking for and which stores
you would like to shop at.
Then, I strongly suggest that you call the store(s) to make sure
they have dresses in your style, color and size. Due to COVID
many stores are short stocked with items on the floor. (This is
coming from my disastrous "Personal Shopper" thread where they
had absolutely nothing in my size . . . totally wasted and
frustrating trip.) If you call early enough, they may be able to
stock your choice/size so that it will be available for you to
try on when you get there.
I'd like to suggest David's Bridal as a starting point, not only
because I had a wonderful experience there, but because they
have an awesome array of choices.
Good Luck and Have FUN! ;D
Please share pictures/links of dresses that you're looking at.
#Post#: 73740--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged! Advice requested
By: jpcher Date: February 13, 2022, 2:04 pm
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How is the planning going? Did you find a dress?
#Post#: 73742--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged! Advice requested
By: bigbadbetty Date: February 13, 2022, 3:28 pm
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My only advice is start looking for everything now. I heard that
2022 is going to be a huge wedding year with many people putting
off their celebrations. And put that together with supply
shortages, it is going to be challenging! Congratulations to
your son!
I got married last year. My parents and my husband's parents
gave us each a set amount of money (different amounts if that
matters). I think that was a lot easier than offering to pay for
such and such. We paid for everything else as we were even older
than your son, but our parents wanted to contribute. It was the
first marriage for both of use (very late bloomers lol). I had a
similar sized wedding. I have tons of cousins. So I used the
general metric of relatives who I have seen in the last 5 years.
I still sometimes worry about where I cut off the lines, but
it's such a hard choice.
#Post#: 73826--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged! Advice requested
By: Gellchom Date: February 16, 2022, 4:39 pm
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They’ve got the venue (including catering) and most of the other
major stuff reserved. bigbadbetty is right about the COVID
backup making for more competition for everything! But they
seem to have it under control.
My daughter and I are having fun looking at dresses. There
aren’t links to the ones we’ve tried on here in Israel. Here
are a few from US stores that I like that I’ve seen online, but
I’m disinclined to order without trying on, because the chances
of proper fit are pretty remote, and the duty and return
shipping are expensive. I may be in the US this spring, and if
so I can find them and/or others in department stores. Great
advice to call ahead, jpcher. Thanks!
HTML https://www.nordstrom.com/s/kay-unger-lola-satin-twill-fit-flare-midi-cocktail-dress/5899514
HTML https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/aidan-by-aidan-mattox-off-the-shoulder-bow-sheath-dress-0400014600577.html
HTML https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/ml-monique-lhuillier-jacquard-fit--amp--flare-dress-0400015662914.html<br
/>(pricy but so pretty!)
#Post#: 73845--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged! Advice requested
By: bigbadbetty Date: February 17, 2022, 3:40 pm
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Those dresses are pretty! And the first one allows you to wear a
real bra! (I know it isn't a concern for every lady, but it is a
must for me.) I think waiting until you can try-on is a good
idea. Dresses have to fit correctly in so many different areas,
and we women are all shaped so differently! Plus there are
limits to how much can be taken in.
#Post#: 73851--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged! Advice requested
By: Hmmm Date: February 18, 2022, 8:44 am
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Very pretty dresses. I like all of the styles. I agree about
waiting till you can try on. I ordered 3 dresses in a style I
thought I'd love. I got them and didn't like the style on me at
all. Enjoy the planning and shopping.
#Post#: 73855--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged! Advice requested
By: lowspark Date: February 18, 2022, 3:15 pm
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Agree about wearing a bra! LOL
The second one is my least favorite only because it looks like
it will be a bit confining for any kind of active dancing, the
type of which goes on at Jewish weddings. I like to have room to
move my legs around. ;D
Otherwise, they are all really beautiful.
#Post#: 73857--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged! Advice requested
By: Gellchom Date: February 18, 2022, 4:25 pm
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A couple more contenders
HTML https://www.nordstrom.com/s/eliza-j-floral-metallic-jacquard-cocktail-dress/5647831
HTML https://www.nordstrom.com/s/kay-unger-tallulah-ruched-cocktail-dress/6087968
Nordstrom has no time limit on returns, which could be a big
help.
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