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#Post#: 73309--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend tried to cheer me up-did I do OK?
By: Jayhawk Date: January 26, 2022, 11:57 am
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I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. I know the movie
you're talking about and even though she may have thought would
be "helpful" to you - she shouldn't have done that to you. I'm
glad you asked her about it midway through the movie. I hope she
comes to realize how clunky and inappropriate that was. You're
showing a lot of grace towards her during a exceeding rough time
in your own life.
#Post#: 73313--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend tried to cheer me up-did I do OK?
By: mime Date: January 26, 2022, 1:53 pm
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Oh my, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. My heart
goes out to you and your family.
I'm glad that you interrupted the movie and spoke up rather than
bearing with it to the end. You kindly gave Daphne something to
think about and it seems like she learned a bit in the moment.
I understand why Daphne wanted to share a faith that is vital to
her, but a gentle invitation would be way better than a surprise
induction!
You did very well. You responded in a way that was respectful to
the relationship, effective in getting through to Daphne, and
all in the mess of stress and feelings you must have been
experiencing!
#Post#: 73318--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend tried to cheer me up-did I do OK?
By: peony Date: January 26, 2022, 2:50 pm
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I wouldn't have handled it as well as you did. I don't think you
did anything wrong. And I am so sorry for what you and your
family are going through.
#Post#: 73319--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend tried to cheer me up-did I do OK?
By: holly firestorm Date: January 26, 2022, 3:13 pm
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[quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=2267.msg73300#msg73300
date=1643208817]
You have no reason to feel guilty. Daphne should not have
promised a movie you loved then switched it with something she
felt would help you. What works for one person may not work for
someone else. It's fine that Daphne is secure in her faith.
Not everyone is that secure and not everyone wants faith-based
"help".
[/quote]
Guihong, I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going
through. I wish you all healing and comfort, Divine and/or
otherwise.
But, BeagleMommy, If Daphne was so secure in her faith she
wouldn't find it so necessary to shove it down someone else's
throat. I'll bet she's one of these people who complains if
someone else does that to her. Her actions were insensitive and
ignorant. I don't know what her religion is, but, let's say it's
Christian or Jewish (just convenient examples for this
scenario). How would she like it if someone in her family was
dying from a painful and incurable illness and a "friend"
insisted she watch a movie about reincarnation with the message,
"I'm sure they'll have a better lifetime in their next
incarnation." Or what if you told her that you would burn some
incense at Quan Yan's altar, or Athena's or Kali's? She'd
probably be outraged. (PS: That's not to say that all people of
any particular faith feel a need to force their particular
theological viewpoint on others or that they should have someone
else's viewpoint forced on them either.)
Guihong, if you want to back off from Daphne, tell her why,
don't make up an excuse.
#Post#: 73334--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend tried to cheer me up-did I do OK?
By: Rho Date: January 26, 2022, 9:05 pm
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( Guihong )
I want to 'like' all the wise messages above.
Daphne ment well but wow she made a mess of the afternoon. I'll
bet she's real popular with expectant moms-to-be--NOT! telling
her own battle stories about difficult labour and deliveries.
#Post#: 73339--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend tried to cheer me up-did I do OK?
By: Aleko Date: January 27, 2022, 3:36 am
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Quite a few people seem to recognise this movie from the
description. Please can one of you name it, so I know to avoid
it? Thanks!
#Post#: 73340--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend tried to cheer me up-did I do OK?
By: vintagegal Date: January 27, 2022, 6:33 am
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I haven't seen it, but I believe it is "The Shack.". One of my
religious friends tried to get me to read the book.
#Post#: 73342--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend tried to cheer me up-did I do OK?
By: STiG Date: January 27, 2022, 7:59 am
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(((guihong)))
#Post#: 73343--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend tried to cheer me up-did I do OK?
By: oogyda Date: January 27, 2022, 8:22 am
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I get it from a point of view that has nothing to do with faith.
My DH has ongoing health issues. His current treatment plan
starts with the line "This is not a cure." The effort now is to
prolong his life as much as they can while maintaining a
reasonable quality of life.
Mom has been informed of this and it has been reiterated on
numerous occasions. Her *supportive and encouraging* "I just
know he will beat this." (and similar) is not helpful and has
even been hurtful to the point where I have to get off the
phone. I'm choosing to believe her intentions were well meant,
but the timing and delivery are off.
It seems to me you handled this very well and very graciously.
And it's okay to take a step or two away from the friendship.
#Post#: 73344--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friend tried to cheer me up-did I do OK?
By: AnnNottingham Date: January 27, 2022, 10:28 am
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[quote author=vintagegal link=topic=2267.msg73340#msg73340
date=1643286803]
I haven't seen it, but I believe it is "The Shack.". One of my
religious friends tried to get me to read the book.
[/quote]
You're right. I was a little afraid of causing controversy over
the movie itself.
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