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#Post#: 73296--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stealing my idea? Am I worked up over nothing?
By: Aleko Date: January 26, 2022, 3:56 am
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I don’t think it’s ever a good idea to buy presents for someone
else’s children without checking with the parents - is it what
the kids will like? Have they already got it? Are the parents
planning to give them it (or give them something quite
different, as per Toots’s story?) Have the parents decided it is
something they should not be given, for whatever reason?
But that said, it does appear from pjeans’s post that Jen didn’t
know that DS or his parents or anybody else was planning to give
them a similar gift. She may well have been so stunned by her
own wacky brilliance in thinking of it that it didn’t occur to
her that the kids’ own family might have thought of it too.
People are very often dumb like that.
#Post#: 73310--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stealing my idea? Am I worked up over nothing?
By: mime Date: January 26, 2022, 12:31 pm
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Well I sure appreciate all the feedback!
Overall, I'm picking up that my reaction is OK-- Jen stepped on
my/DS toes, but it's mostly BEC.
I tried asking myself how I'd respond if someone else had done
the gift giving, and I'm sure I'd still be disappointed but less
annoyed. I can't help but think that others just wouldn't have
done it in the first place.
I definitely looked at this gift as strengthening a connection
among my kids so Jen's actions felt very intrusive to me. My
younger ones won't pick up on that though, so that's my own
issue to keep to myself 😉. OS will probably just shrug
it off too.
As some of you said, Jen's gift was very thoughtful. It is
something my kids will like to "show off" a bit, it's a big
topic of discussion in our house these days, they will
absolutely associate it with their big brother, and my OS will
be happy to see them take pride in this new path he's taking.
All good stuff!
Maybe later in summer, some pictures of graduation or some
memento from the Basic location will give that personal
connection that can only come from him.
Thank you all for your thoughts. Sometimes I have to get out of
my own head!
#Post#: 73311--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stealing my idea? Am I worked up over nothing?
By: Kimberami Date: January 26, 2022, 1:23 pm
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Maybe OS and the younger kids could put together a wall collage
of his pictures & mementos using some of the supplies they have
now? That would be a great bonding experience.
#Post#: 73314--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stealing my idea? Am I worked up over nothing?
By: mime Date: January 26, 2022, 1:55 pm
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[quote author=Kimpossible link=topic=2266.msg73311#msg73311
date=1643225008]
Maybe OS and the younger kids could put together a wall collage
of his pictures & mementos using some of the supplies they have
now? That would be a great bonding experience.
[/quote]
Oh I love that idea! I think we'll do that-- thanks for the
suggestion!
#Post#: 73398--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stealing my idea? Am I worked up over nothing?
By: LifeOnPluto Date: January 28, 2022, 9:33 pm
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If you didn't mention the idea to Jen, then technically she
didn't steal it. :)
So the question then becomes whether Jen (having no knowledge of
your / Eldest Son's intentions to get National Guard stuff for
your younger kids) overstepped. And I think it depends.
Firstly, how close a relative is Jen? If she's your MIL or SIL,
I'd give her a pass - to me her actions simply show that she's
simply proud of her grandson / nephew. If however, Jen is say, a
third cousin twice removed who isn't that close to DS and your
other kids, I'd be a bit miffed and weirded out too.
The amount of stuff she gave them also makes a difference to me.
For example, one sweatshirt for each kid seems less
objectionable than National Guard branded everything! It did
seem like she went overboard in the amount of stuff she bought.
As for what you can do next, I think you'd be ok in quietly
letting Jen know that you / Eldest son already had plans to get
the young kids National Guard stuff, and to please check with
you next time before doing something like that. (As indicated
above, the less close a relative Jen was, the more inclined I'd
be to have this conversation).
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