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#Post#: 73115--------------------------------------------------
Hostess Gift Needed?
By: Hmmm Date: January 19, 2022, 8:59 am
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Curious of other's opinions.
My DH and I will be flying to visit a family member. We'll stay
with them 2 nights and will be staying in a hotel for 3
additional nights in a nearby city. During our time at nearby
city, we will meet for meals a couple of times. We will have our
own rental car. They will probably cook dinner for us one night
but the rest of the meals will be each paying their own.
Family member we are visiting has asked us to bring some items
she can not get locally so I have bought those items and will
check a bag for those items. I've spent about $50 on the items
and from experience I will not be paid back. There will not be a
baggage fee.
Not sure if this is relevant, but we would not be traveling to
this area other than to visit with the family member. While it
is an enjoyable area and DH and I can find plenty to do to
entertain ourselves, we have been a few times and wouldn't
repeat other than the need to visit family. The family member
can not travel well so does not come to us.
In a chat with my sister, she suggested a "cute" hostess gift. I
said I was already hauling a suitcase full of stuff and going
through the hassle of baggage claim that I wouldn't be doing
otherwise. She said that was practical stuff and the family
member would enjoy something frivolous. I said the next time she
visited she could take the frivolous stuff.
I'm usually very good about taking a hostess gift or giving
something at the end of my stay. But I know that I'm the "gift
of service" type person and not the "gifts" type person... i.e.
languages of love types. It just feels a bit one sided. I'm
spending my money and vacation time to visit them. I'll get two
nights in a not so comfortable guest room and probably one home
cooked meal. I know the family member feels their location is
great and many others are excited about having free
accommodations in their home. So know my sisters remark has got
into my head and I feel like I should take a surprise type
gift.
Your thoughts.
#Post#: 73116--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hostess Gift Needed?
By: Jem Date: January 19, 2022, 9:04 am
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I don't know that there is a one size fits all answer here. I
100% agree that different people have different love languages,
so knowing what your hostess's love language is might better
guide you. I don't think you "have" to bring any gift at all,
and it sounds like you are already bringing plenty. Like you, I
am not a "gifts" person so while I appreciate the effort when
given a hostess gift, I certainly don't expect it (and sometimes
think, "well, that was nice but what will I do with this?") So I
guess it is a know your audience thing.
#Post#: 73117--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hostess Gift Needed?
By: Rose Red Date: January 19, 2022, 9:16 am
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I would consider the $50 worth of items your gift.
When my family goes overseas, that's what we do too. We don't
give additional "fun" gifts. Maybe treat them to a dinner too,
but that's about it.
#Post#: 73118--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hostess Gift Needed?
By: sandisadie Date: January 19, 2022, 10:37 am
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In my opinion what you are doing and spending for this family
member is enough. I hope that they are aware of your
generosity. If your sister is not providing as much in a
similar situation then your remark to her is right on. Giving a
separate "hostess" gift depends on the situation IMO.
#Post#: 73120--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hostess Gift Needed?
By: STiG Date: January 19, 2022, 10:56 am
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I think you are fine with what you are taking for family member.
I might treat for one meal but wouldn't bring a specific
hostess gift.
I visit friends in California. I take them things that they
can't find there - I usually check a bag so that isn't an issue
- and I treat them for a meal at some point during my stay.
Additionally, i usually crochet dishcloths on my flights to
combat anxiety and boredom and will leave friends some of those.
#Post#: 73126--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hostess Gift Needed?
By: BeagleMommy Date: January 19, 2022, 2:31 pm
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I think you are fine.
Bringing $50 worth of items more than equals any type of
"frivolous" hostess gift.
#Post#: 73140--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hostess Gift Needed?
By: Aleko Date: January 20, 2022, 3:01 am
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I’m with everyone who says that ‘$50-worth of stuff she can’t
get locally’ is a pretty good gift in anybody’s book. You might
like to find some way to package it as such, say in an
attractive gift-bag or not-expensive hamper, and maybe throw in
a couple of small treats that she didn’t ask for, to emphasise
that it is a gift and not ‘oh yes, and here are your groceries’.
Putting it all together in a gift container that she will have
to unpack will also bring it home to her just how much she did
ask you to buy for her, which quite possibly she has never
really grasped.
#Post#: 73146--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hostess Gift Needed?
By: lowspark Date: January 20, 2022, 10:54 am
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Seriously, $50 is more than I would normally spend on a hostess
gift. So the fact that you are spending that, plus lugging it
through the airport, plus spending your time and money to travel
to a place that you wouldn't go to except to visit family is WAY
more than enough.
If your sister wants to give more than that when she visits, she
can certainly do so! But I would just take her suggestion with a
grain of salt. Everyone does what they can or what they want to.
#Post#: 73148--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hostess Gift Needed?
By: NFPwife Date: January 20, 2022, 12:02 pm
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I love how generous your sister is - with your money!
The $50 of items and the physical labor of getting them there is
more than enough. The suggestion to package them in a way that
indicates they're a gift is a good idea, but I'm not sure your
hostess hasn't registered or received them as a "gift;" it's
your sister who thinks a frivolous item needs added. I have an
item it's hard to get locally (Vegemite) and if someone showed
up to my house with $50 worth of Vegemite, I'd be thrilled.
#Post#: 73149--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hostess Gift Needed?
By: Hmmm Date: January 20, 2022, 12:17 pm
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Thanks all for the reassurance. Aleko, I like your idea of
packaging them up. I'll do that. I'll also think about something
I could add that she didn't specifically ask for.
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