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#Post#: 72782--------------------------------------------------
Re: And speaking of tables …
By: NewHomeowner Date: January 3, 2022, 6:27 am
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This story reminds me of something that I encountered, more than
30 years ago. (wow, I'm OLD).....
I was going to eat at a Chinese restaurant, as a single diner.
They sat me at a large circular table, apparently with a bunch
of other single diners. It was AWESOME. We all chatted and had
a good time together, for what would usually be a lonely meal.
I heard later that this practice was common in other countries?
Anyway, I wish I had that kind of option more, since I usually
eat out alone, just me and a book.
#Post#: 72789--------------------------------------------------
Re: And speaking of tables …
By: holly firestorm Date: January 3, 2022, 12:22 pm
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I've been in a lot of situations where I asked if there was room
for me (either alone or with one or two others) or where another
group showed up and asked to share the table. The answer is
always "yes" unless the whole table is being reserved for
additional people. To me it's the simple act of asking that
makes all the difference.
I can only think of one instance where the table sharing didn't
turn out well. It was at a local Greek Festival. There were 4 in
my party and I think the same number in the other party and
there was room for everyone at the table. Unfortunately there
was one male in the other group that was really overbearing and
aggressive. I finally informed my party that I was going to shop
for pastries and quietly explained why. Maybe I just should have
told the guy to piss off, but that would have made things
awkward for everyone at the table.
#Post#: 72912--------------------------------------------------
Re: And speaking of tables …
By: Star Wars Fan Date: January 7, 2022, 7:12 pm
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I agree with you boyfriend, you should've told them the table
was taken and for them to go find their own table because they
were extremely rude. And if they would've refused to leave I
would've complained to somebody in charge who would've made them
move. People are so unbelievably rude these days! >:(
Ed.
#Post#: 72918--------------------------------------------------
Re: And speaking of tables …
By: holly firestorm Date: January 7, 2022, 7:59 pm
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My understanding from a previous post is that there were no
other tables available.
#Post#: 72921--------------------------------------------------
Re: And speaking of tables …
By: LifeOnPluto Date: January 7, 2022, 11:03 pm
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This reminds me of a thread from the old boards. The OP was a
student, and was meeting a few friends for lunch at the
cafeteria to discuss a project. She was the last to arrive, and
on the way one of her friends texted her to say that there was
"some weird guy" sitting at their table. I can't recall the
specific facts, but it seems that all the tables in the
cafeteria were taken, and the guy was somehow assigned or
directed (possibly by a cafeteria worker?) to that table,
because there were some seats left there.
I remember the OP asking what the etiquette of that situation
was. The OP and her friends wanted to discuss their project and
"talk shop" but doing so would have excluded the guy at their
table from their conversation (whom the OP said was attempting
to make polite, social chit chat with them). The thread was
interesting, because opinions were divided. Some posters thought
their OP and her friends were being clique-ish and mean by not
engaging in conversation with the guy (who did sound quite
socially awkward). Other posters thought the OP and her friends
would have been fine in telling the guy something like: "Nice to
meet you, but we're going to be talking shop now".
#Post#: 72932--------------------------------------------------
Re: And speaking of tables …
By: holly firestorm Date: January 8, 2022, 6:04 pm
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In both cases they were still acknowledging the stray person,
not ignoring him.
#Post#: 72965--------------------------------------------------
Re: And speaking of tables …
By: TootsNYC Date: January 10, 2022, 3:12 pm
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[quote author=holly firestorm link=topic=2245.msg72932#msg72932
date=1641686672]
In both cases they were still acknowledging the stray person,
not ignoring him.
[/quote]
and it was totally OK to ignore him--he hadn't suddenly been
"grafted" onto their social/professional circle.
He was just sitting at the same table.
It wouldn't be any different than if he were sitting at the
table next to you.
In NYC, where we have a lot of experience with this, we'd just
nod an acknowledgment, and then completely ignore him.
#Post#: 72977--------------------------------------------------
Re: And speaking of tables …
By: Despedina Date: January 11, 2022, 9:33 am
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This reminds me of a strange situation we had while on vacation.
We are from a Midwest state and visited a small town on the
gulf. My family of 4 went to a taco stand and found a picnic
table to sit at to eat. A couple of 20 somethings sat RIGHT next
to us and were talking like we didn't exist. This was
pre-covid. It was odd but there was no place else to sit and we
arrived via bike and were unable to take our food with us so we
stayed. Their oblivious conversation turned to an interesting
subject when the girl starting talking about the town she was
from, which is right where we live in the Midwest! She was
making up completely fabricated details about the town and it
was almost laughable. When she mentioned the town name a 2nd
time I said "oh you are from City, State? What a small world we
live 6 miles away!!". She got very red in the face because she
knew she was making up things about that area and they got up
and left. They were only waiting for their food before driving
away in their vehicle. I guess she noticed us then.
#Post#: 72979--------------------------------------------------
Re: And speaking of tables …
By: lowspark Date: January 11, 2022, 11:42 am
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I think it was rude of them to just sit without at least somehow
asking if it was ok.
If there were no other tables available, I can see them thinking
to sit at an occupied table with empty seats but at least ask
first. Don't speak English? You can still indicate physically,
smile, have a questioning look on your face, indicate the empty
seats and say "OK?" which is the same in many languages.
In other words, make SOME attempt to communicate.
In your place, however, I would be hard pressed to say
something, particularly that the seats are taken, because, in
fact, they really weren't. I mean, you and your boyfriend
weren't going to use them, and they were going to just sit there
empty.
In that situation, I'd feel very awkward kicking them out if
there were no other tables available, and then I'd feel very
uncomfortable the rest of the time with the chairs sitting
there, unused, and me having kicked them out.
#Post#: 72985--------------------------------------------------
Re: And speaking of tables …
By: holly firestorm Date: January 11, 2022, 5:13 pm
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[quote author=Despedina link=topic=2245.msg72977#msg72977
date=1641915223]
This reminds me of a strange situation we had while on vacation.
We are from a Midwest state and visited a small town on the
gulf. My family of 4 went to a taco stand and found a picnic
table to sit at to eat. A couple of 20 somethings sat RIGHT next
to us and were talking like we didn't exist. This was
pre-covid. It was odd but there was no place else to sit and we
arrived via bike and were unable to take our food with us so we
stayed. Their oblivious conversation turned to an interesting
subject when the girl starting talking about the town she was
from, which is right where we live in the Midwest! She was
making up completely fabricated details about the town and it
was almost laughable. When she mentioned the town name a 2nd
time I said "oh you are from City, State? What a small world we
live 6 miles away!!". She got very red in the face because she
knew she was making up things about that area and they got up
and left. They were only waiting for their food before driving
away in their vehicle. I guess she noticed us then.
[/quote]
Good strategy! Just join in their conversation...they'll either
respond in a friendly matter, leave, or be very uncomfortable.
Even better that she made up that story and you could have a
little fun with her lies. With my luck I'd use that strategy and
they'd be friendly and five minutes in I'd wish they weren't.
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