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#Post#: 74359--------------------------------------------------
Re: Let Me Know If You Want A Christmas Card
By: AvidReader Date: March 18, 2022, 8:16 am
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Variation on this theme. This was at least 25 years ago. Our
public library offered the Social Security Death Index from
Ancestry when it was on CDs. I was a genealogy librarian. We
had a really elderly patron (she had to be 80 if she was a day)
who would come in every November for a number of years and check
her Christmas card list against the Index prior to sending out
her cards.
#Post#: 74385--------------------------------------------------
Re: Let Me Know If You Want A Christmas Card
By: DaDancingPsych Date: March 20, 2022, 6:51 am
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[quote author=peony link=topic=2219.msg74328#msg74328
date=1647459282]
[quote author=Effie link=topic=2219.msg74320#msg74320
date=1647438305]
Quite late to this thread, but this reminds me of a former
friend/good acquaintance who wrote one year that she only sends
Christmas cards to people who send them to her first.
The following year she wrote the same thing.
The following year, I was not in a good place and didn't send
out cards.
True to her word, I didn't get a card that year, and I haven't
heard from her since. I guess it's a good way to cull the list?
[/quote]
That's too bad--that doesn't give any leeway to people who just
couldn't one year.
[/quote]
I understand the sentiment. I would only want to exchange cards
with willing participants, too. But by waiting, you are putting
all of the responsibility of continuing the tradition on one
party. By the originator only being reactive, I would feel like
their card was more of obligation to me rather than wanting to
send some cheer. There would probably come a point where I would
decide to step away from the exchange.
Also, Effie mentioned that the one year a card wasn't sent was a
bad one... I believe "not in a good place" was the phrase. That
is the exact moment that someone would appreciate and maybe even
need a card. It just changes the whole reasoning and sentiment
behind the cards.
I do keep a list from year to year as to who sent me a card and
who did not. Yes, this does effect my decision, but it's not the
only factor in that decision.
#Post#: 74437--------------------------------------------------
Re: Let Me Know If You Want A Christmas Card
By: Effie Date: March 22, 2022, 8:18 am
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Yes, in our family we refer to that time period as "the
Christmas from hell". It would have been nice to know a card
from her wasn't an obligation. In truth, it was time for the
friendship to end, so no tears were shed. It just left a sour
taste.
#Post#: 74438--------------------------------------------------
Re: Let Me Know If You Want A Christmas Card
By: DaDancingPsych Date: March 22, 2022, 10:11 am
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[quote author=Effie link=topic=2219.msg74437#msg74437
date=1647955131]
Yes, in our family we refer to that time period as "the
Christmas from hell". It would have meant a lot been nice to
know a card from her wasn't an obligation. In truth, it was time
for the friendship to end, so no tears were shed. It just left a
sour taste.
[/quote]
I tend to do most of my friendship tailoring after a challenging
period. I don't require much from most friendships, but when I
come to realize that I am constantly giving and not really
getting anything back from it, then it's time to let it fade
away.
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