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#Post#: 71909--------------------------------------------------
Bad behavior at the Reception
By: baritone108 Date: November 20, 2021, 11:44 pm
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I am a banquet server at a party center. There are several
behaviors which I'm not sure fall under bad manners but are
still bad behavior. I'm not in a position to say anything as
part of my job but I wish I were. Here are a few things that
happened at a reception today...
1) Young children ( guessing 6 and under) behaving as young
children were completely ignored by the adults. They chased
each other through the reception room, between tables, and
across the dance floor pretty much for the entire event. People
were walking through the room with trays of full glasses, hot
food, etc., while these kids dashed in, around, and between
their feet. Any of those kids could have been seriously injured
if they had run into or tripped a server, let alone injury to
the server or anyone hit with food, glass, and so on. No one
said a word about it to any of the kids for the entire event
which lasted for about 4 1/2 hrs.
2) Still the young kids... While dancing was starting a little
boy about 5YO shoved a 2YO and knocked him flat on his face on
the dance floor. 2YO was carrying what turned out to be a sippy
cup. Thank goodness it had a lid or people would have been
sliding around the dance floor. 5YO followed 2YO around and did
this to him again at least 4 more times. 2YO spots me and comes
over for help. I asked him to show me where his mother was and
I would take him to her. While we were looking she stopped
dancing and called out to him so I took him over and explained.
She did keep him with her for quite a while after that.
3) When the arrangements were made the time for arrival, food
service, and ending were established. It is not uncommon for
the food service to be delayed by 15 min to 1/2 hour for any
number of good reasons so not considered bad behavior. However,
today after the toasts were made person after person came up to
make a speech. Servers do not go out onto the floor while
anyone (except the DJ) is speaking, including intro of the
wedding party, grace, and toasts. The dinner service got
delayed by almost an hour and then one of the guests berated the
owner because the food hadn't been served yet. Same person
berated the owner because the cake hadn't been cut and served
and owner had to explain that we were waiting for the bride and
groom to cut the cake.
I realized as I was typing that some of the other things I
would have included don't happen at the receptions, they happen
at other events so I won't list them here.
#Post#: 71919--------------------------------------------------
Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
By: Mrs Rat Date: November 21, 2021, 2:11 pm
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Its sad that people come to these events and let their kids run
wild. People are too afraid to step in and stop bad behaviour
because of the possible abuse from the bad parents. Its good
that the 2YO came to you for help and I hope that his mum kept a
better eye on him.
#Post#: 71925--------------------------------------------------
Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
By: Rho Date: November 21, 2021, 8:55 pm
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"one of the guests berated the owner because the food hadn't
been served yet."
a GUEST? Maybe the guest also wanted to complain about the
choice of food or color scheme.......
The mom who left her her 2 year old unsupervised long enough for
him to be pushed 4 times was lucky an adult didn't take the
child away while she was ignoring him.
#Post#: 71927--------------------------------------------------
Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
By: BeagleMommy Date: November 22, 2021, 8:00 am
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These are the exact reasons many happy couples say "no children"
on their wedding invitations.
Something tells me the "guest" who complained about the delay in
food service/cake cutting is someone who would complain about
just about anything.
#Post#: 71929--------------------------------------------------
Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
By: oogyda Date: November 22, 2021, 8:21 am
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[quote author=Mrs Rat link=topic=2216.msg71919#msg71919
date=1637525468]
Its sad that people come to these events and let their kids run
wild. People are too afraid to step in and stop bad behaviour
because of the possible abuse from the bad parents. Its good
that the 2YO came to you for help and I hope that his mum kept a
better eye on him.
[/quote]
On the day of my niece's wedding, I went to the hair stylist's
salon (which is the bottom floor of her home) with the
grandmother of the bride (getting her hair styled), stepmother
of the bride (getting her hair styled), step sister of the
bride, step sister's DD and step sister's step DD (they were
flower girls and getting their hair styled). Step sister's step
DS was with us also.
Those kids were running around playing with stuff and even
trying to go upstair into the stylists living quarters! Their
mom/stepmom wasn't doing anything to stop bad behavior.....she
was more interested in putting on and modeling the dress she had
just bought to wear to the wedding. Her mom (step mother of the
bride) did/said nothing. I couldn't help myself....I had to
stop them from going upstairs and from there, I directed their
attentions to calmer activities. I even took them outside to
run around for a little while.
I know I probably overstepped, but nobody said anything to me
about it. I think I got a grateful look from the
hairstylist....but I could have misinterpreted. I was
embarrassed, and they weren't even my children or grandchildren.
#Post#: 71945--------------------------------------------------
Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
By: DCGirl Date: November 23, 2021, 8:24 am
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I have nothing but the deepest respect for banquet servers. I
don't think I could do your jobs.
#Post#: 71958--------------------------------------------------
Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
By: baritone108 Date: November 23, 2021, 1:07 pm
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[quote author=oogyda link=topic=2216.msg71929#msg71929
date=1637590907]
I couldn't help myself....I had to stop them from going upstairs
and from there, I directed their attentions to calmer
activities. I even took them outside to run around for a little
while.
I know I probably overstepped, but nobody said anything to me
about it. I think I got a grateful look from the
hairstylist....but I could have misinterpreted. I was
embarrassed, and they weren't even my children or grandchildren.
[/quote]
This was the hardest part for me. I wanted to say something so
badly but the Party Center owner was there and he didn't say
anything even when one of the kids nearly toppled him while he
was bringing out food. I didn't want to get fired.
#Post#: 71966--------------------------------------------------
Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
By: oogyda Date: November 23, 2021, 6:16 pm
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[quote author=baritone108 link=topic=2216.msg71958#msg71958
date=1637694427]
[quote author=oogyda link=topic=2216.msg71929#msg71929
date=1637590907]
I couldn't help myself....I had to stop them from going upstairs
and from there, I directed their attentions to calmer
activities. I even took them outside to run around for a little
while.
I know I probably overstepped, but nobody said anything to me
about it. I think I got a grateful look from the
hairstylist....but I could have misinterpreted. I was
embarrassed, and they weren't even my children or grandchildren.
[/quote]
This was the hardest part for me. I wanted to say something so
badly but the Party Center owner was there and he didn't say
anything even when one of the kids nearly toppled him while he
was bringing out food. I didn't want to get fired.
[/quote]
Yeah. At least this wasn't while I was "at work". Before I
stepped in they had managed to break off several stalks/leaves
of a nice plant.
#Post#: 72024--------------------------------------------------
Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
By: Winterlight Date: November 25, 2021, 10:12 pm
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My shul does a Passover seder every year, and there was one year
where those of us who were serving flatly refused to leave the
kitchen till the rambunctious kids were corralled. There was no
way we'd be carrying hot bowls of soup while dodging sprinting
toddlers, it had happened the year before and we had at least
one server who'd gotten soup on themself because of this (and
was just grateful it hadn't landed on a seated person's head.)
The person running the seder loudly and pointedly called this
out, and embarrassed parents grabbed their kids and pinned them
into chairs. Public shame does have its uses.
#Post#: 72191--------------------------------------------------
Re: Bad behavior at the Reception
By: Snowfire Date: December 2, 2021, 5:09 pm
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Some parents just refuse to parent. The pastor at my cousin's
wedding actually stopped the service to "request" that the
grooms sister take her tantruming toddler out of the sanctuary.
There was child care available, for free, and she had just
chosen not to use it. She just sat there while the kid has a
total screaming fit.
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