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       #Post#: 71640--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: NFPwife Date: November 12, 2021, 11:26 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       This have been really illuminative - thank you all! It's
       illuminated that I should get a better handle on book club.
       To add a little detail - this is a virtual small group that was
       started at work to help increase connection during the pandemic.
       Everyone could choose up to three small groups in which to
       participate on a survey that was sent out and then you would be
       assigned to one. Fiction book club was one of my choices and
       somehow I ended up chairing it. (I was asked to manage the
       calendar and pull everyone together on Zoom.) I looked up how to
       run a book club and got guidelines about structure and
       questions, how to pick books, etc. but didn't get a "make rules
       about reading the book," piece of advice and we've now had two
       meetings where someone hasn't read the book and participants are
       holding back on discussion because of it.
       What would you all advise at this point? I just sent an email
       with the new selection and the date. I could schedule an email
       with some structure suggestions closer to the meeting date,
       maybe a month out. I'm wondering if I should ask the group how
       they'd like to handle discussion if someone hasn't read the
       book, or if I should just implement a guideline that you can
       attend if you haven't read but discussion will include spoilers.
       Any thing else you'd predict I should get in front of?
       #Post#: 71642--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: holly firestorm Date: November 12, 2021, 12:30 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Lilipons link=topic=2204.msg71625#msg71625
       date=1636720669]
       In my experience, book clubs have largely taken the place of the
       bridge club my mother enjoyed.  IN other words, an excuse for
       women to get together and schmooze without the kids.
       Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a weekly schmooze and some
       of these book clubs really are into the study of literature but
       many are an excuse sanctioned by Oprah Winfrey.
       [/quote]
       Ugh! Oprah! She's not a bad person, but so annoying.
       And why call it a "book club" if you're not going to read the
       book? I would think it would be a reason for people to get
       together and talk about something more intellectual than "mom
       stuff," (or mom & dad stuff).
       On the other hand, expecting people to read the whole book may
       not be practical BECAUSE of things like work and kids. It seems
       to me you should say something like, "OK, let's get the first
       100 pages done before next week's meeting." Then, have a big
       overall discussion when you've all finished the book.
       #Post#: 71644--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: Hmmm Date: November 12, 2021, 1:05 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       It's been a long time since I did a book club. Not everyone read
       every book. I sometimes just couldn't get interested and would
       not finish a book. I might still come to the book club social so
       I could hear what others enjoyed about the book and maybe I
       missed. But there was never any expectation that the other's
       would restrict their conversations to avoid spoilers.
       We had about 10 in the club. We had one instance when The
       Alchemist was the book and only 2 people finished it and neither
       of them liked it either. The rest of us felt bad so promised to
       start letting the others know if we were going to bail on a book
       early in the month.
       #Post#: 71645--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: lowspark Date: November 12, 2021, 3:17 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=PVZFan link=topic=2204.msg71640#msg71640
       date=1636737972]
       This have been really illuminative - thank you all! It's
       illuminated that I should get a better handle on book club.
       To add a little detail - this is a virtual small group that was
       started at work to help increase connection during the pandemic.
       Everyone could choose up to three small groups in which to
       participate on a survey that was sent out and then you would be
       assigned to one. Fiction book club was one of my choices and
       somehow I ended up chairing it. (I was asked to manage the
       calendar and pull everyone together on Zoom.) I looked up how to
       run a book club and got guidelines about structure and
       questions, how to pick books, etc. but didn't get a "make rules
       about reading the book," piece of advice and we've now had two
       meetings where someone hasn't read the book and participants are
       holding back on discussion because of it.
       What would you all advise at this point? I just sent an email
       with the new selection and the date. I could schedule an email
       with some structure suggestions closer to the meeting date,
       maybe a month out. I'm wondering if I should ask the group how
       they'd like to handle discussion if someone hasn't read the
       book, or if I should just implement a guideline that you can
       attend if you haven't read but discussion will include spoilers.
       Any thing else you'd predict I should get in front of?
       [/quote]
       How often are you meeting? How much lead time do the members get
       to read the book?
       My suggestion is to say that from here forward, the book
       discussion will be geared toward those who have finished the
       book. People who have not finished are welcome to attend and
       discuss as best they can, but there will be spoilers.
       [quote author=holly firestorm link=topic=2204.msg71642#msg71642
       date=1636741833]
       On the other hand, expecting people to read the whole book may
       not be practical BECAUSE of things like work and kids. It seems
       to me you should say something like, "OK, let's get the first
       100 pages done before next week's meeting." Then, have a big
       overall discussion when you've all finished the book.
       [/quote]
       This is why I'm wondering how often this group meets. If it's
       every week, then yeah, who has time to finish a whole book in a
       week! But it sounds like it's less often than that.
       My book club meets monthly, and I think most do. If your life is
       busy enough that you consistently can't complete a reasonable
       length book in a month, again, maybe this isn't the best fit.
       #Post#: 71646--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: NFPwife Date: November 12, 2021, 3:43 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=lowspark link=topic=2204.msg71645#msg71645
       date=1636751871]
       [quote author=PVZFan link=topic=2204.msg71640#msg71640
       date=1636737972]
       This have been really illuminative - thank you all! It's
       illuminated that I should get a better handle on book club.
       To add a little detail - this is a virtual small group that was
       started at work to help increase connection during the pandemic.
       Everyone could choose up to three small groups in which to
       participate on a survey that was sent out and then you would be
       assigned to one. Fiction book club was one of my choices and
       somehow I ended up chairing it. (I was asked to manage the
       calendar and pull everyone together on Zoom.) I looked up how to
       run a book club and got guidelines about structure and
       questions, how to pick books, etc. but didn't get a "make rules
       about reading the book," piece of advice and we've now had two
       meetings where someone hasn't read the book and participants are
       holding back on discussion because of it.
       What would you all advise at this point? I just sent an email
       with the new selection and the date. I could schedule an email
       with some structure suggestions closer to the meeting date,
       maybe a month out. I'm wondering if I should ask the group how
       they'd like to handle discussion if someone hasn't read the
       book, or if I should just implement a guideline that you can
       attend if you haven't read but discussion will include spoilers.
       Any thing else you'd predict I should get in front of?
       [/quote]
       How often are you meeting? How much lead time do the members get
       to read the book?
       My suggestion is to say that from here forward, the book
       discussion will be geared toward those who have finished the
       book. People who have not finished are welcome to attend and
       discuss as best they can, but there will be spoilers.
       [quote author=holly firestorm link=topic=2204.msg71642#msg71642
       date=1636741833]
       On the other hand, expecting people to read the whole book may
       not be practical BECAUSE of things like work and kids. It seems
       to me you should say something like, "OK, let's get the first
       100 pages done before next week's meeting." Then, have a big
       overall discussion when you've all finished the book.
       [/quote]
       This is why I'm wondering how often this group meets. If it's
       every week, then yeah, who has time to finish a whole book in a
       week! But it sounds like it's less often than that.
       My book club meets monthly, and I think most do. If your life is
       busy enough that you consistently can't complete a reasonable
       length book in a month, again, maybe this isn't the best fit.
       [/quote]
       We meet quarterly, once every three months, which is why I'm
       wondering if I should schedule a reminder email a month ahead of
       time.
       #Post#: 71648--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: holly firestorm Date: November 12, 2021, 3:50 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Only quarterly? Monthly or every other week sounds more fun
       socially.
       You should probably send a few email reminders, maybe one month,
       two weeks and 3-4 days ahead of time.
       #Post#: 71651--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: Rose Red Date: November 12, 2021, 4:53 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Since the meetings are quarterly, maybe those who didn't read
       the book are craving interacting with people. Especially this
       past two years.
       I think I would discuss the book with a warning there will be
       spoilers. Then spend time socializing. Most clubs that meet in
       person usually catch up with each other with snacks and drinks
       before getting down to business. Then relaxing a bit before
       going home.
       #Post#: 71658--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: Proudmama Date: November 12, 2021, 8:43 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=betty link=topic=2204.msg71639#msg71639
       date=1636736031]
       Depends on your book club. My book club has been meeting every
       month for 18 years. We have three rules:
       [list type=decimal]
       [li]No books that are only out in hard cover (and now, we aim
       for books that are also on Kindle)[/li]
       [li]We discuss the book for at least a little while. Some books
       make for great discussions, some not so much. The host of the
       month usually has some questions to get us started.
       [/li][li]It's ok if you haven't read the book or haven't
       finished it, but you are not allowed to stop the rest of the
       group from talking about plot points or the ending.
       [/li]
       [/list]
       This pretty much sums up our book club as well.  It’s been going
       strong for 10 years now.
       These rules work for us!
       [/quote]
       #Post#: 71660--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: lisastitch Date: November 13, 2021, 12:41 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       In the book club I was in for quite a few years, the expectation
       was that everyone would read the book.  Obviously, things come
       up and books didn't always get finished, but we all joined the
       group because we wanted to read and discuss books.  We had one
       member who joined primarily for social reasons.  When she was a
       bit flippant about not making an effort to read the chosen
       title, we did add the "rule" that people needed to read the
       book.
       It sounds as if your group is small, which complicates the
       matter.  In a group of ten, if two people haven't read the book,
       the rest of the group can have a good discussion, and they can
       listen.  If there are spoilers, oh well.  If it's a group of
       three and two haven't read it, you can't have a discussion.
       There are many ways to choose titles.  I don't know what method
       you're using, but it might be worth playing around with it.  It
       may be that they aren't reading the titles because the titles
       don't appeal to them.  We had a yearly meeting where members
       suggested titles they had read and thought would be good
       discussion books.  I looked up reviews and the book's
       availability in the libraries and got that information to people
       before the meeting.  Between that information and the input from
       member(s) who had read it, we chose the next year's books.
       #Post#: 71687--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: pierrotlunaire0 Date: November 14, 2021, 11:05 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       My book club meets every other month, and most of our selections
       have also been available on audio (one of our members is very
       busy with work, but she has time in the car where she can
       listen, so she has always finished).
       Occasionally, one person has not finished, but we discuss the
       book in full. There is some socializing, but we make a point to
       devote some attention to the book (the vast majority of us also
       belong to a craft group get together which meets monthly, and
       that is a lot of socializing, in fact the book club grew out of
       the craft group). If someone never read the book, then I think
       we would encourage them to attend the craft group only. Also on
       the month we don't have book club, we also meet for lunch, and
       then an excursion to a craft show or craft shop. So if you don't
       really want to read, we have alternatives.
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