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       #Post#: 71615--------------------------------------------------
       The first rule of book club...
       By: NFPwife Date: November 11, 2021, 4:34 pm
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       is you should read the book.
       Or is it?
       That's my question, I'm in a book club and the last two meetings
       people haven't read the book. Today one person was 3/4 through,
       one hadn't started. They both plan to read the book. We then
       discussed in generalities or talked about things that weren't
       spoilers. There was something about the ending I really wanted
       to talk about but couldn't.
       This is my first book club -- it's virtual and was formed as a
       way to connect during covid. For those of you in book clubs,
       what's the protocol if someone hasn't read the book? How have
       you handled it?
       #Post#: 71618--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: STiG Date: November 11, 2021, 6:30 pm
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       I do not belong to a book club, mainly because my expectation
       would be that the book should be read to whatever point the
       group decides.  So if it is one meeting per book, you should be
       finished the book; if there are 2 meetings per book, you should
       be finished the first half by the first meeting.  That is too
       much pressure for me.
       If I did choose to join a club and went to the meetings, I would
       absolutely expect people to discuss the book up to the decided
       point.  And if I hadn't read the book, that's on me.
       It's like discussing the previous night's episode of The
       Greatest TV Show Ever around the water cooler.  If you haven't
       seen it yet, don't take part in the discussion.  It isn't up to
       everyone else not to spoil it for you.  My only caveat to that
       would be if you have multi time zone friends on social media,
       spoilers shouldn't be discussed on that social media until all
       your friends have had the chance to see it in their time zone as
       it airs.
       #Post#: 71619--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: Rose Red Date: November 11, 2021, 6:54 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Does your book club have rules in place? If the assignment is to
       read the entire book, I wouldn't hold back on my thoughts and
       questions about the book.
       The person who read 3/4 of the book can at least discuss that
       part. I don't understand why those who didn't read any of it
       joined the meeting on that day.
       #Post#: 71622--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: Bada Date: November 12, 2021, 3:36 am
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       I was in a book club with local moms. Everyone joked from the
       first meeting that there's no need to actually read the book to
       attend. I found that highly annoying. I paid for (expensive new
       release) and read your crappy book choice, the least we could do
       is discuss it!  We definitely just told people who didn't read
       what had happened, though. No one expected there to be no
       spoilers.
       Everyone just wanted to talk about "mom stuff" instead of the
       book which was disappointing because I wanted to dig into the
       book and to actually use my brain and not be just a mom right
       then. Plus I do much better in group settings when I have a
       topic or common interest to talk about rather than "small talk."
       I'm currently trying to start up a new book club around a genre
       (eg Sci Fi book club, but not that).  I'm hoping it will draw
       people who are genuinely interested... People joined the
       Facebook group for the club, but now they won't respond to sny
       questions about what we should read or when we should meet. Why
       join the group only to be silent?!
       #Post#: 71625--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: Lilipons Date: November 12, 2021, 6:37 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       In my experience, book clubs have largely taken the place of the
       bridge club my mother enjoyed.  IN other words, an excuse for
       women to get together and schmooze without the kids.
       Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a weekly schmooze and some
       of these book clubs really are into the study of literature but
       many are an excuse sanctioned by Oprah Winfrey.
       #Post#: 71626--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: baritone108 Date: November 12, 2021, 7:20 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       In the book clubs I have belonged to the meeting/discussion
       proceeded as though everyone had read the book.  No holding back
       or worrying about spoilers.  It is each person's responsibility
       to read the book ahead of the meeting but sometimes they don't
       for any number of reasons.  We had people not finish a book
       because they didn't like it, or because they couldn't find the
       book right away, or something happened at home (e.g. illness,
       injury, etc.).  They participated in the discussion where they
       could or they listened to it.
       #Post#: 71629--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: lowspark Date: November 12, 2021, 7:59 am
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       In my opinion, a book club whose members don't read the book, is
       not a book club. It's a social club. So why not just call it
       that?
       I've been in multiple book clubs over the years. For a time I
       was in two at once! Currently I'm in one. The way we work it
       (and this pretty much applies generally to all the ones I've
       been in) is that everyone is expected to have read the whole
       book by the time we meet.
       Now, things happen, and sometimes you can't read it, or maybe
       you can't finish it. But by and large, the majority will have
       completed the book. And the rule is that we discuss the book,
       fully and without reservation. If you haven't finished the book,
       you are still welcome to attend and participate in the
       discussion, but you cannot expect us to withhold spoilers.
       We've set up guidelines that say if someone consistently does
       not read the book, then maybe this group is not for them.
       The way our meetings go is like this. That month's host chooses
       the book, at least a month in advance to give everyone enough
       time to read it. She provides dinner and wine for the meeting,
       and guides the discussion in any way she chooses.
       We gather and have a little wine and chat time, while the host
       gets dinner together and we await the arrival of everyone who is
       expected. Then we have dinner and social time. Then we discuss
       the book. We take turns and try not to interrupt others,
       although that can be hard! Then we go back to socializing
       briefly before ending the evening.
       Sometimes, if the book is particularly good, or particularly
       bad, we can't wait to discuss and there is informal talk during
       social time.
       I just went to my book club meeting last night and the host had
       contacted the author of the book and we had a 30-minute zoom
       call with her where we got to ask questions and hear her
       perspective. That was pretty cool!
       Also, the book we read was about characters of a certain
       nationality and the host provided us a dinner of a variety of
       foods from that country. It was a really great meeting.
       And that, to me, is what book club is about. Of course it won't
       always be that elaborate, with themed food and author. But the
       idea is to read the book and make a fun discussion. And
       socialize, of course.
       #Post#: 71631--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: BeagleMommy Date: November 12, 2021, 9:06 am
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       If you're not going to read the book, don't join a book club.
       If you want to have wine and just chat about life that's called
       friends.
       Reminds me of one kid in a world lit class I took.  When the
       teacher assigned the book he asked if there was a movie done on
       it since he really didn't like to read.  ::)
       #Post#: 71638--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: Rose Red Date: November 12, 2021, 10:30 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=2204.msg71631#msg71631
       date=1636729568]
       If you're not going to read the book, don't join a book club.
       If you want to have wine and just chat about life that's called
       friends.
       Reminds me of one kid in a world lit class I took.  When the
       teacher assigned the book he asked if there was a movie done on
       it since he really didn't like to read.  ::)
       [/quote]
       That reminds me of an oral book report by a classmate talking
       about the golden goose in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. A
       few of my other classmates and I looked at each other in
       confusion. What golden goose?
       Years later, I watch the movie and realized what he did. LOL
       #Post#: 71639--------------------------------------------------
       Re: The first rule of book club...
       By: betty Date: November 12, 2021, 10:53 am
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       Depends on your book club. My book club has been meeting every
       month for 18 years. We have three rules:
       [list type=decimal]
       [li]No books that are only out in hard cover (and now, we aim
       for books that are also on Kindle)[/li]
       [li]We discuss the book for at least a little while. Some books
       make for great discussions, some not so much. The host of the
       month usually has some questions to get us started.
       [/li][li]It's ok if you haven't read the book or haven't
       finished it, but you are not allowed to stop the rest of the
       group from talking about plot points or the ending.
       [/li]
       [/list]
       These rules work for us!
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