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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 71627--------------------------------------------------
Re: Neighbors helping without asking
By: DaDancingPsych Date: November 12, 2021, 7:21 am
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I have a really lovely neighbor who does these kinds of things.
I try to view it for it's intent; my neighbor wants to extend
kindness. But I am someone who is fiercely independent... to a
fault. When they collect my garbage cans for me, I feel
embarrassed that I didn't get to it fast enough. I know that is
not the message that they are trying to send and really just my
own issues getting in the way. Unless the "help" is truly
hurtful, then I try to accept it graciously and look for ways to
return it.
#Post#: 71630--------------------------------------------------
Re: Neighbors helping without asking
By: Aleko Date: November 12, 2021, 8:00 am
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It's my feeling that sidewalks, communal grass verges etc,
belong in a slightly different box from people's own property.
The street in front of my house is a public space; even if it's
generally part of my civic duty to clear snow off it, if my
neighbour goes out first and, feeling energetic, sweeps in front
of my house as well as his own, it's still all the public street
and he has a perfect right to sweep it if he wants. Going on to
someone else's own property without being asked to clear snow /
rake up leaves / take out rubbish bins is a bit intrusive to me,
however well meant.
#Post#: 71637--------------------------------------------------
Re: Neighbors helping without asking
By: STiG Date: November 12, 2021, 10:29 am
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In my experience, there isn't a single neighbour who actively
dislikes it when we clear their driveway with our tractor
snowblower. One neighbour mentioned that he enjoys doing the
driveway for exercise but is an older gentleman so we just clear
the plow pile for him and he shovels the rest.
I think leaves are a bit different, though I would appreciate
the gesture. We purposely don't rake our leaves. They provide
habitat for overwintering insects and are an important part of
the ecosystem.
I think it is lovely that your neighbour raked your leaves.
It's lovely that you occasionally shovel their sidewalk. Tit
for tat, in my mind. I'm one of those who hates to ask for
help. But we've had to ask for help for some heavy lifting jobs
over the summer and fall. Snowblowing their driveway this
winter is a way to pay back the favour. It evens out, in my
mind.
#Post#: 71667--------------------------------------------------
Re: Neighbors helping without asking
By: Mistress Mae Date: November 13, 2021, 11:29 am
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I think that the neighbor should've asked first before doing any
yard work for you, because they didn't know what you were
planning on doing or when you were going to do it. At least it
would've given you the chance to decline the help and not be
forced to accept it. I'm all for everyone helping others out,
but not when it makes others uncomfortable or feel like they're
being forced to accept the help.
#Post#: 71926--------------------------------------------------
Re: Neighbors helping without asking
By: bopper Date: November 21, 2021, 9:11 pm
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You just feel guilty...let them help.
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